HeartProblems looks like one of those games you open just to “check it for five minutes” and then suddenly you’re clicking through scenes like a horny raccoon searching in the trash. On the surface it’s the usual porn VN setup: young guy, dead parents, moves in with uncle, house full of women that absolutely should not be as hot as they are. Milf energy in the kitchen, stacked bodies, tight clothes, that kind of slow-burn teasing where nothing “really” happens at first but your brain is already writing fanfic. Feels a bit like when you open X and see one “harmless” clip, then the algorithm decides you’re never seeing normal content again.

What sells it for me is how dirty it gets while pretending to be wholesome. You start as this awkward dude just walking around the house, talking, doing little choices that look innocent: help with the laundry, watch TV together on the couch, massage a sore back. The game loves to put you in those “accidental” skin contact situations. Hand brushing over that thick ass when you squeeze past in the hallway. Waking up with her on the sofa, your face basically in her tits, and she acts annoyed but does not move away. Corruption here is not some instant switch, it’s death by a thousand horny cuts. One day she slaps your hand for groping, later she just sighs, later she pretends not to notice, and then suddenly her leg is opening a bit more when you sit down. I caught myself saving before every dialogue just to try the slightly more perverted line and see if I can push one step further without getting shut down.

The 3D style is a bit uneven, which somehow fits. Some scenes look like they belong in a premium Patreon post, others feel like they were rendered while the dev was alt-tabbing to Telegram. Tits are huge, unapologetically so, bouncing and squeezed into outfits that clearly lost the fight with gravity. Asses too, like, “there is no way this character can find jeans in her size” big. Sometimes the proportions feel almost too much, but that might be exactly why it works. It reminds me of those cursed TikToks where the filter stretches everything and yet people in comments still type “link?” The humiliation angle hits when the MC gets caught peeking, or when one of them talks to him like he’s still a kid while his dick is obviously reacting in the shot. There’s a really fun scene where you get caught staring at her cleavage at breakfast, and the way she leans forward, half mocking you, half secretly enjoying your discomfort, is actually hotter than the later explicit stuff. And the mobile build is nice; playing this in bed with brightness low like some shameful little goblin feels exactly right. It’s weird, messy, sometimes clunky, and that’s kind of perfect for what it is.

You start the game literally as a corpse, which already feels different from all the usual “new semester at horny academy” stuff. You’re dead, you’re on the table, and then your childhood friend drags in an angel and a demon, does this sketchy ritual that looks like something she half-learned from hentai and half from a scam YouTube occult channel, and suddenly you’re back in your own body. Kind of. You’re still you, just with this creepy awareness that these three girls basically own your second life. And they act like it. From the first POV scene you can feel that vibe: you’re the male protagonist, you talk, you react, but they keep grabbing your face, pushing your head between tits, grinding their big asses on you, like you’re some resurrected toy they saved for their own fun. It slips between teasing and straight up domination pretty fast. One moment the angel girl is all “we only want to help you adjust” with this choir-like soft music in the back, next moment she’s riding you, wings spread, drooling a bit, ahegao face and everything, saying she needs your “holy seed” to stabilize your soul. Sure. Totally medical reason.

The fantasy angle makes the harem thing feel almost logical. You have the childhood friend, who acts like a tsundere milf trapped in a younger body, always pretending she cares about your “safety” while sitting on your lap in just a shirt, rubbing your cock with lazy hips while lecturing you about not dying again. Then the demon girl shows up with horns, tail, big tits barely staying in some cosplay-looking outfit, and she’s pure chaos. She’ll pin you down, sit on your face, use your tongue like it’s contract payment, then five minutes later let you ram her ass until she’s shaking, only to smirk and call you her “pet hero”. There’s this scene where she gives you a handjob under the table while the angel talks about “spiritual balance” and you’re trying to click dialogue options without blowing your load too early. By the way, the clicking sound effect is weirdly loud, I kept thinking my neighbors could hear it more than the moans and that annoyed me way more than it should. Anyway. The monster girl race that killed you is also in the mix, but instead of hating them you basically end up fucking them. There’s a furry type with fluffy ears who pretends to be shy, then suddenly she’s giving you a sloppy blowjob, licking all the way to your balls, looking up with those wet eyes, then pushing your dick between her tits for a messy titfuck that ends in creampie between her breasts and she’s giggling like it’s the best thing ever. Game just shrugs and moves on.

I liked how the camera hugs the POV angle most of the time. When someone gives you a footjob, you really feel like you’re the one pinned on the bed, her toes curling around your shaft, heel pressing against your balls, and the sound of slick skin and her tiny breathy laughs in your ear. There’s a voyeurism bit where your resurrected body isn’t quite “stable” yet, so you wake up half transparent in a room and watch Misaki-like teacher character masturbate on her desk, fingering herself, pressing her big ass against the chair, whispering your name even though she thinks you’re dead. You can’t touch, you can only watch, camera slowly sliding around her as she grinds on her own hand, and then later, when you finally get solid again, she corners you in a corridor and calmly tells you she knows you were looking. Then she grabs your hand, presses it against her ass, makes you grope her in this quiet hallway while students walk somewhere offscreen. She smiles like a predator and edges you on purpose, only letting you cum when she’s got you buried in her pussy, milking you dry with these slow, deep thrusts that feel almost too intimate compared to the wild group sex scenes where everyone is climbing on top of you, swapping from oral to anal to vaginal like it’s a competition. The moans sometimes loop a bit awkward, and a couple of lines sound like they recorded them in a closet, but honestly that roughness kind of fits the whole “forbidden ritual brought you back just to turn you into a walking sex magnet” mood. Also, the way one girl keeps calling you “small fry” even while she’s riding you raw until your cum spills out of her and drips down her thigh really annoyed me. I kept waiting for a scene where you finally shut her up properly, never got it.

First impression: it feels like someone mashed together horny high school memories, a porn hub search history full of “thick milf teacher” and “classroom creampie,” then let it simmer in a sandbox where you keep telling yourself “just one more event” while your coffee goes cold and your dick doesn’t. You land in this shiny, fake-clean Lakeside Academy as the new transfer guy, and everything looks normal for like five seconds. Then you notice the way the homeroom teacher’s blouse keeps “accidentally” opening a bit too far when she leans over your desk, or how the busty classmate pretends she’s not staring at your crotch when you answer questions wrong. It’s a school game, alright, but the vibe is less “study hard” and more “how fast can I make everyone break the dress code in the most indecent way possible.”

What really got me was how the teasing hits first, before the full-on porn. You’re walking corridors, poking around like in any sandbox, and the game keeps throwing these small moments at you. Short skirt flipping just a bit too high when she runs up the stairs. That milf admin bending over the file cabinet with an ass that honestly looks like it should be illegal on school property. One scene had me stuck in the nurse’s office, just watching her animated tongue slowly trace along a lollipop while she pretended it was “for stress.” It was so stupid and so hot I actually had to pause and laugh. The animations themselves are kinda rough sometimes, like a cheap hentai gif pack someone upgraded, but in a good way? They’re not perfect at all and that makes them feel more dirty, less sterile. Actually, no, sometimes it annoyed me how stiff some motions looked during oral scenes, like she’s going crazy with her lips but her head is a bit robotic. I still came hard so I guess I didn’t hate it that much. Whatever.

Once you find the rhythm, the game becomes this loop of “okay, I’ll just do this mini game, then head to class, then maybe I’ll finally get to fuck that stacked teacher after school.” The mini games themselves range from “weirdly fun little distraction” to “why the fuck did they think this was a good idea.” There was one where I had to time button presses during a teasing scene to not blow my load too early, and I swear, missing the timing and watching the girl laugh at you for cumming in your pants instead of her tight pussy was both humiliating and kinda hot. But then another one made me chase some item across the map for like the fifth time and I was just grinding, no pun, mumbling at my screen. Story pretends to be about drama and school life, with enemies and friendships and all that, but after the third time I had a thick ass pressed against the desk while going raw and pumping a creampie into her, I stopped caring who hated who and just followed the routes that promised more skin. There’s something nice though in how the game doesn’t rush you; it lets you be a pervy student going from class to hidden corners, slowly unlocking more explicit stuff, from soft teasing to full vaginal pounding, watching big tits bounce in those short loops. It’s messy, oddly charming, frustrating in small spots, and horny in that very specific “I shouldn’t be seeing this in a classroom” way that hits way too close to some old fantasies.

Hunter boy goes into the forest thinking he is the big bad top of the food chain, gun in hand, big ego, tiny brain. He wants rabbit stew. He gets rabbit pussy instead. I mean, technically he gets rabbit everything, because these bunnies are not cute, they are straight up monster girls with curves and claws and zero respect for his personal space. The game just throws you right into it, no long setup, no boring menus, suddenly you are flat on your back staring at this smug rabbit girl sitting on your chest like a porn ad that learned how to talk. She teases him, insults him, calls him meat, and it hits that nice mix of humiliating and hot that had me biting my lip like a thirsty idiot. The humor is super dumb in the best way, like hentai comic energy, with her cracking jokes while she has his dick halfway down her throat. She mocks his aim, she mocks his stamina, and then she milks him dry anyway. I was playing on my phone in Chrome, by the way, and the first time she popped her toes in his face I literally dropped my phone on my own nose. Deserved.

What I love is how the game pretends the guy is the protagonist, but we all know who runs the show. She drags him around, rides him when she wants, uses his mouth, plays with his ass like he is her sex toy she ordered on AliExpress and forgot to review. There is this one scene where she pins his legs up, real mean smile, and just goes straight for his rear like she has a personal vendetta against his hole. It looks painful and hot at the same time, and he is moaning like he can’t decide if he loves it or hates it. She talks so much shit during the anal, by the way. Tells him how hunters should be punished, how his job now is filling her up. Then right after that you get this surprisingly sweet moment where she cuddles around him, still stuffed with his cum, calling him her “little dinner.” I laughed and then got turned on again, I hate it here. The only thing that annoyed me was one tiny sound effect that repeats so often it started to feel like a TikTok audio, and then my brain just accepted it and moved on. Everything is on rails because it is a kinetic thing, you just watch and click, but honestly that kind of works for this setup. She runs the whole show, you just sit there, click, and let the horny rabbit bully your poor hunter meat puppet until he is leaking from every possible place and you are wondering why you suddenly want a monster girl with claws on your neck and her feet on your face.

Your dad bails to the Caribbean with his side piece and a bag full of stolen cash, the house is basically broke, and the only thing he leaves you is a mess of women, old feelings, and a mortgage-sized headache. That is literally your “welcome home” after college. You roll back into this big family place that used to feel safe and suddenly it has to become a half-legal college dorm full of horny students, stressed milfs, and people who remember you way too well. Some of them remember you as the sweet kid, some as the idiot who left town, some as the virgin who never got to finish what you both started. Now everyone is older, hotter, more desperate, and the walls are thinner than you remember. It starts slow, just little teasing looks, sleepwear that is way too short, “accidental” gropes when you squeeze past in the hallway. Then the game throws you straight into this mix of romance, messed-up family tension, and filthy humor that honestly feels a bit too real sometimes. One minute your stepsis is mocking you for still blushing at a footjob joke, the next she’s planting her heel in your lap under the table while your “aunt” with the huge tits talks about rent and pretends not to see anything.

What I liked is how the game leans into the awkwardness instead of pretending everyone is some perfect porn robot. There is actual teasing. Like, she will jerk you off halfway and then stop just because you picked the wrong dialog line two scenes ago and she still remembers you flaking on her date in high school. The POV stuff really hits when you’re lying in bed and a girl you kind of grew up with quietly slips under the sheets, thinking you’re asleep, grinding against you in the dark. No loud music, just breathing and half-whispered curses. If you play as a good guy you can wake her gently and turn it into this soft, romantic thing. If you lean into corruption, you pretend to be asleep and let her keep going, or grab her hips and push it further than she expected. There are scenes where the twins tag-team you with this fake innocent attitude, one riding your face while the other milks you, and then they start arguing about who gets your “first” creampie like you’re their personal trophy. There is a milf who is stressed about money, leaking milk through her shirt while she tries to stay professional, and the game does not shy away from that. You can help her, comfort her, or push her into this messed up lactation scene on the couch in the living room, with you switching between titfuck and oral while the TV is still on. Some routes will let you slowly turn the house into your own harem, from anal with the cocky college girl in the guest room to raw vaginal sex with the girl who swore she’d never forgive you, and yeah, pregnancy is on the table if you lean into it. The netori angle is also there: you seduce women who technically shouldn’t be yours, some already taken, some kind of “spoken for” by your missing father, and the game knows exactly how dirty that feels. It’s not subtle about incest themes either, but it wraps them in this weird mix of love, guilt, and constant horny tension that fits the whole “dysfunctional family home turned sex dorm” vibe. You get multiple endings depending on who you focus on, who you knock up, who you ignore, and whether you keep pretending you’re the good guy or finally accept that your new life is just one long, fucked up, very hot line you crossed without ever going back.

This whole thing feels like someone took every anime waifu you've ever crushed on and threw them into a blender with gacha mechanics. Pocket Waifu's got everyone - Megumin doing her explosion thing, Lucoa being all thicc dragon energy, even Tatsumaki looking perpetually annoyed while somehow being incredibly fuckable. The clicking gets mindless fast but honestly? That's kinda the point. You're not here for complex gameplay, you're here because seeing Rias Gremory in progressively skimpier outfits while numbers go up hits some primal part of your brain that retail therapy usually handles.

The progression system is whatever - click, level up, unlock scene, repeat. But fuck me the variety is impressive in a chaotic way. One minute you're getting a titjob from Lucy Heartfilia, next you're balls deep in some Nikke girl whose name I can't pronounce. The animations aren't groundbreaking but they get the job done, especially when Erza's doing that thing with her tongue or when Hinata finally stops being shy and goes full slut mode. Rosa from Pokemon looking absolutely stacked was not something I expected but here we are. The costumes unlock pretty regularly which keeps things fresh - nothing beats seeing Darkness in a maid outfit begging for it.

What's wild is how they managed to cram so many different series together without it feeling completely schizophrenic. Though honestly the Kobayashi dragon maids feel a bit out of place next to the more explicitly sexual characters, but whatever, Ilulu's tits make up for any tonal inconsistencies. The anal scenes with Sakura Matou hit different when you're three hours deep into idle clicking. Sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be managing resources and just end up staring at Yor Forger's ass physics for way too long. The mobile interface works fine but occasionally the click detection gets wonky during the more intense scenes which is annoying when you're trying to... multitask.

You’re playing this regular dude who thinks his life is boring as shit, scrolling Telegram and TikTok, jerking off to the same trash porn, going to work, coming back, repeat. Then these new neighbors show up, all smiles and weird vibes, and it’s like the whole building suddenly got horny and cursed at the same time. They’re hot, but in that “something’s wrong here” way, like you open the door and your brain goes, yeah, I’m fucked. Not because they’re dangerous. Because you *know* you’re gonna do stupid things for pussy. And the game lets you. It doesn’t rush anything though. First contact is all teasing, light touches, accidental gropes, that kind of thing, and you can already feel the corruption hooks going in. There’s this moment where one of the “normal” MILFs from your daily routine suddenly starts wearing this tight top after your first little spell goes off, tits pressed together like they’re trying to escape, and she leans in your car window to ask a basic question, but the camera just stays on her cleavage like the game is laughing at you. I had to alt-tab out of sheer frustration, check Discord, then come back and immediately try to push the corruption harder. Self control gone.

The sandbox part actually feels like a horny to‑do list, which sounds bad, but is fun as hell. You’re bouncing around locations, checking who’s around, who’s ready for the next “upgrade,” who still needs more nudging, who you wanna break mentally first. One girl goes slowly from shy and flat to this curvy monster girl with thick thighs and ridiculous boobs, and it’s not just a switch; you see stages. First she lets you “accidentally” grope her, then she pretends to be angry, then she’s sitting on your lap, kind of grinding while talking about something that doesn’t even matter. At some point you’re deciding if you want them more bimbo, more twisted, more obedient, and the game just lets you stack the harem like a fucked up Pokémon collection, except half of them call you something they really shouldn’t be calling you in bed. The group scenes sneak up on you too. You line up events wrong and suddenly you’re in a room where two of your “projects” show up together, and instead of drama, they’re just sharing your cock like it’s no big deal, one riding your face while the other takes it deep and then asking you which body you like more. There’s anal, oral, tits wrapped around you, messy creampies where you watch your cum drip out while the girl’s eyes are just gone, totally taken by your magic and control. It feels nasty and powerful and also kind of fucked, which is exactly why I kept clicking for “one more scene” long after I said I’d stop.

New city, new school, and your first big decision is basically “study or jerk off while spying through somebody’s window.” That’s the kind of vibe this game has, and honestly it works way too well. You show up in this kinda normal-looking academy town, but everybody is obsessed with this card game that is clearly not balanced, not healthy, and definitely not safe for a school environment. One minute you’re trying to pass a boring class, next minute you’re locked into a turn based fight where you’re trying to outplay some smug bastard while also getting distracted by the fact that his mom has her tits spilling out of a blouse that should not pass any dress code ever made. The whole “Battles of Mythria” thing is like if Yu-Gi-Oh watched too much porn and decided clothes are optional while dueling. You sit there thinking about card synergies and suddenly the reward screen is a girl with a big ass bending over your desk, animated just enough that your brain goes “ok, yeah, I’m staying.”

The sex stuff is slow-burn and then somehow also not at all. You start with these teasing moments that feel like accidents: your hand “accidentally” landing on a thigh in the library, a MILF teacher leaning in a bit too close so your face is basically buried in her cleavage, brushing past a girl in the corridor and feeling way more than you should. The game loves voyeurism. A lot. You peek through cracked doors, watch a classmate masturbating on her bed while pretending you’re looking for a lost book, see a shower silhouette where the tits are just detailed enough that you pause your Spotify to focus. Sometimes it lets you decide: jerk off quietly right there with your mouse hand doing double duty, or save the tension for later so maybe she “catches” you another day and you end up with a handjob under a desk instead. And when a blowjob scene hits, it doesn’t just show it, it lingers. The lips move, saliva strings, her head rhythm matches the text boxes popping, and you forget there was supposed to be any kind of “plot mystery” in this town at all. The best part is when a card battle goes wrong, you lose, and the punishment is her pinning you down, pressing those huge tits into your face and groping you like you’re the prize. The worst part is the tiny hover tooltips in combat that flicker when you move the cursor too fast and now I’m mad thinking about it again because I kept misclicking like an idiot and skipping turns while half hard. Anyway, the art is this weird mix of clean 2D CG and clearly AI-touched details, so sometimes a nipple looks too perfect for a human hand and sometimes a hand looks like it’s almost grabbing three boobs at once, and somehow that makes it hotter. It’s messy, horny, and just serious enough that you pretend you’re here for the adventure, while your real “strategy” is figuring out which girl to push from teasing and groping into that scene where she drops to her knees in a quiet corner of the school and takes you in her mouth like you’re the rarest card in the deck.

Westview Academy looks like one of those nice, clean elite schools at first glance, the kind you’d see in some boring brochure, but this thing is more like a horny sandbox with uniforms and homework as optional decoration. You drop in as this talented “golden boy” type, but honestly you feel more like the only sane guy in a place where every corridor hides a new way to get distracted from studying. Music rooms that turn into impromptu seduction stages, locker rooms where you’re trying to be a gentleman and your camera angle obviously isn’t, teachers with tight blouses pretending they don’t notice you staring at their tits, or they notice and like it way too much. The game just hands you all this and goes “ok, don’t fuck it up” while giving you a million ways to fuck it up.

It calls itself a dating sim, but half the time it feels like you’re just poking at the world to see who gets horny first. Point and click, yeah, but not the boring type where you’re hunting pixels for 10 minutes. Here you’re clicking on the shower door in the girls’ locker room, knowing damn well the MC “didn’t mean to peek”, sure, and then the camera lingers on wet skin, big asses and bigger tits pressed against foggy glass. There’s this one scene where you’re supposed to be helping a classmate rehearse a music piece, and she keeps “accidentally” dropping her pick, leaning over the desk so her shirt gapes open, and you can either play it cool or lean into the teasing and watch her go from shy virgin to full-on blowjob under the piano in like three choices. I liked that it pretends to be a romance and then suddenly you’re balls deep in the auditorium after hours. Very classy. Completely not classy at all.

The harem side is kinda sneaky. You don’t immediately realize you can juggle multiple paths until you find yourself promising a study date to the cute nerd, a “private lesson” to the stacked music teacher, and a gym session with the thick track girl on the same afternoon. Somehow the game lets it work, at least if you’re not a complete idiot with your choices. It feels good when they all start reacting to each other: a milf teacher gets a bit too touchy and the jealous classmate is peeking through the window, and suddenly it turns into voyeurism from both sides, with you deciding if you want to show off or stay subtle. I had one scene where the black PE coach catches you “stretching” with a girl who’s very naked except for her socks, and instead of a game over he joins the fun with this casual “you two need proper guidance”, and boom, interracial threesome that came out of nowhere. The humor is also kinda dumb, in a good way. One moment you’re laughing at some meme-tier joke scribbled on a classroom whiteboard, next moment you’re clicking through a strip tease in the music room, watching the MC pretend he’s interested in “technique” while her bra hits the floor. It’s horny, clumsy, romantic, trashy and sweet, sometimes in the same scene, and I still can’t forgive that one stupid minigame where I misclicked and missed an obvious blowjob route in the bathroom, but whatever, I’m still going back to see who else I can add to the bed before the semester ends.