Reborn in this world, you don’t start as some overpowered hentai demigod. You start small, weak, awkward, staring at stat screens like a horny nerd who suddenly woke up inside the fantasy game he used to jerk off to. It feels weirdly familiar, all those windows and numbers and skills, like someone mashed together an isekai anime, Pornhub tags, and a DnD character sheet, then said “yeah, now suffer for it.” The beginning actually made me laugh, in that “oh shit, that would be me” way, watching this guy (or futa, if you go that road) try to figure out how to use magic and how not to die on the first dungeon floor while getting distracted by every pair of tits in a ten-meter radius.

The mood swings a lot. One moment you’re counting turns in combat, trying to squeeze out that last spell with barely any mana, the next you’re getting pinned against a wall by some smug monster girl with too many curves and way too much confidence. The harem thing doesn’t just fall in your lap, you kind of earn it through quests, choices, and that slightly evil curiosity that makes you pick the option you probably shouldn’t. There is this early dungeon where you walk in thinking “ok, grind a bit, gain some XP” and end up bargaining with a horny plant girl that really, really wants to see what you can do from behind. Strategy suddenly becomes “how many skills can I use before I’m literally drained in every sense.” And I liked that the futa angle is there like a temptation, not shoved down your throat unless you ask for it. You can stay vanilla cock, or you can wake up with something extra between your legs and a whole new way to ruin NPCs. Choice hits different when it’s about what kind of dick you swing.

What surprised me most is how often I forgot I was playing a porn game and not some half-janky, half-charming RPG on itch.io. The humor lands more often than it should, with those little comments about EXP farming, hentai logic, and how nobody in fantasy worlds knows what a condom is. Sometimes the text rambles, sometimes the pacing trips, like the dev got lost in their own horny brain and just went “fuck it, more dialogue, more teasing,” and I kinda love that. There is one scene in particular, in a deeper dungeon level, where you’re low on health, you win a fight by like one lucky hit, and instead of a normal reward you get this cocky demon girl asking if the hero who nearly died wants to “use her body as a potion.” It’s porn logic, but the teasing before the actual sex is long enough you start clicking faster, half annoyed, half turned on, like a degenerate trying to skip ads on xHamster. The AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, a hand here, a weird strand of hair there, and it annoyed me way more than it should. I stared at that one broken finger in a blowjob scene far too long, and it lives in my head rent free now. Still, the mix of turn based combat, dumb jokes, fantasy races throwing themselves at you, anal and vaginal scenes popping up like loot drops, and that feeling of slowly building a harem through stats and bad decisions... I’d honestly give it “Best Use of Bad Life Choices in a Fantasy Harem” and not even say it as a joke. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Vault Wanderer is one of those horny little parody projects that feels like it started as a shitpost between friends on Discord and somehow became an actual game. You play this guy who crawls out of a comfy underground vault into a wasteland that is less about radiation and more about who is fucking who, and with what. The whole thing mixes classic turn based RPG combat with stupid jokes and very explicit scenes that just kind of slam into you out of nowhere. One second you are clicking through some goofy dialogue about bottle caps, the next you are watching a futa raider get her dick sucked in a surprisingly long animated loop while your character pretends he is not into it. The game loves voyeurism like crazy. Almost every location has some “oops I walked in on them” moment, except it is never really an accident and everybody is cool with you standing in the corner jerking off. Or pretending to “research.” The writing knows exactly what it is doing: it makes fun of the wasteland clichés, then uses the same clichés to justify a harem route where every big tits, big ass, wrong-race-for-this-town waifu somehow ends up in your camp.

What surprised me most is how messy but confident the sandbox structure is. You are just dropped on the surface with this point and click map and told to explore, and the game absolutely does not care if you go straight to a lesbian futa bar and stall your “main quest” for two hours doing nothing except footjobs and blowjobs in different outfits. There is real RPG stuff happening in the background: stats, turn based fights, random encounters that sometimes end in actual combat and sometimes turn straight into oral sex scenes if you pick the horny dialogue option. I lost one fight because I was too distracted watching the enemy’s boobs bounce in the attack animation, which is a stupid reason to reload, but here we are. The art is simple 2D CG but the animations have just enough motion to make the scenes feel alive without turning into weird rubber people. Some of the interracial setups are actually hot, then the game drops a joke so bad it short circuits the mood and you kind of hate it for ten seconds, until the next harem scene where three girls are roleplaying “capturing” you and you forget you were mad. The mobile support is oddly good too; I tried it on my phone while half-slouching on the couch with Chrome open and it ran smoother than some serious games on Steam. Sometimes the text spacing gets fucked on smaller screens and nobody bothered to fix it, which annoyed me for like a full minute while I was trying to read a masturbation scene and the last line wrapped in a stupid way, and then I clicked next and forgot. That is basically the whole vibe here: horny, rough around edges, a little broken, but when the wasteland mommy with huge boobs kneels down for oral and the camera zooms in just right, your brain stops caring about polish completely.

Guy wakes up, normal life, boring city, cheap phone, tiny room, you know the drill. Then he puts on this VR headset and suddenly he’s in a fantasy world where hot women actually look at him like he’s not background NPC. Reality side is all chores, side hustles, grind, checking messages on Telegram, answering some idiot from work in Gmail while thinking about tits. Then back in VR, where the same guy is a rising hero who can smack goblins and flirt with mages with ridiculous curves in the same ten minutes. The game really leans on that feeling: nobody respects you in real life, but in the VR world girls with huge asses are asking if you want a “private training session” after you finish one dungeon. Of course you say yes. Everyone does.

What surprised me is how often you bounce between the two realms and it actually matters. One moment you are sitting in your crappy apartment trying to sc*** together enough cash to buy upgrades, checking some porn on your second monitor, the next you’re back in Dawn of Arcanum, facing a turn based fight where the healer is this milf with massive tits and zero understanding of how shirts work. You do basic combat: attack, skill, defend, item. Old school stuff, nothing flashy, but the pacing hits that weird horny-gamer brain sweet spot. You finish a fight, loot a chest, and suddenly there’s a dialogue option that clearly means "if I click this, someone’s mouth ends up on my dick". And yeah, that’s what happens. One scene had the party’s mature sorceress calling you to her tent “to discuss tactics”. She kneels down, starts stroking you slow, talking about “rewards for reliable tanks”. She slides her hand up and down, spits casually, then takes you in her mouth while the camera stays close, like you’re actually watching from your body. No fade to black. She deepthroats you, pulls off with a thin line of saliva, cheeks a little flushed, then asks if you still want to know the plan for the boss fight. You probably don’t, but the dialogue option is there.

It also plays with that harem thing in a way that is both hot and slightly stupid. You impress one girl by saving her during a quest, she lets you pound her in some ruins, riding you hard while your HUD still shows quest markers in the corner like it’s totally normal. Then later a different chick gives you a handjob in a tavern storage room, jerking you slowly while asking about your “legendary build”. She talks about skill trees like dirty talk. You cum all over her fingers, and she casually wipes them on your shirt, which is such a small detail but felt more real than half the dialogue. Reality world isn’t just filler either: one time you log out of VR after a long dungeon, your cock still hard in your shorts, and your in-game neighbor from down the hall catches you half dressed. She bends over “looking for something she dropped” with that obvious thick ass pose, panties peeking, and the MC is just desperately trying not to stare. Later you meet her again and she’s way more direct, guiding your hands to her tits while you press her against the door, sliding between her legs, pushing into her slowly while she whispers that the walls are thin. It feels messy, horny, kind of broken, exactly like a guy who lives half online and half in fantasy would experience it. RPG elements keep everything tied together enough so you don’t forget there’s a game under all the sucking and fucking, but honestly, half the time I was just choosing stats because I wanted to see who I could make sit on my face next.

The game feels like somebody took a regular fantasy RPG, spilled horny brain juice all over it, then decided “ok, now we’re serious.” You start as this guy who just wants a simple life, and the world basically tells him to fuck off. Home is not safe, walls don’t help, demons literally crash into your comfort zone and everything goes to hell in a way that feels personal. After that first attack, every room feels a bit suspicious, every pretty smile feels like it might hide claws. The cool part is how the story pretends it’s about politics and survival, while every important “negotiation” somehow ends up happening with a woman who has ridiculous tits or an ass that should honestly count as a separate character. It’s like a fantasy council meeting, except you’re mostly staring at cleavage and trying not to die.

What surprised me is how strategic things get between all the horny moments. There is actual turn based combat with numbers and timing and “shit, I shouldn’t have used that skill yet” kind of thinking. You’re not just clicking “attack” and then skipping to the next sex scene. In one fight near the Scar, I misjudged a demon’s pattern, got the whole party wrecked, and then had to walk back into camp with everyone pissed at me. One of the girls calls you out in her own way, not with a long speech, but with this mix of sarcasm and “you better not waste my time again” that somehow makes the next time you fuck her feel like you earned it. The harem vibe is there, sure, but it’s not just a line of girls waiting their turn like some porn playlist on XVideos. There’s this tall warrior woman who keeps pretending she doesn’t care, then shows up half-armored and half-naked, and suddenly your “tactical choices” are about where to put your hands, not your skill points. Another girl feels softer, more romantic, the kind that makes you want to open Spotify, put on something sad, and just get lost in the way she looks at you while riding you. The game swings between romance and raw “I’m gonna ruin your back on this table” energy in a way that never fully matches what you expect.

Sometimes the worldbuilding goes a bit too heavy, like the dev had a whole novel in Google Docs and refused to cut anything. You’ll be thinking about how to squeeze in some private time with this busty sorceress, and suddenly you’re knee-deep in lore about demon incursions and power balances and weird factions that don’t know how clothes work. It’s funny, because the game tries to talk about “truth” and “strength” and “finding a way home,” but half the time I’m just hoping the next choice leads to someone pinning the protagonist to a wall and using him like a living toy. Still, I like that the sex doesn’t feel totally disconnected from the plot. You sleep with someone and it actually shifts how scenes play, who gets jealous, who suddenly becomes more helpful in battle, who pretends nothing happened but starts standing closer to you in camp. There’s something very human about making a “romantic” choice just because the girl’s ass looked insane in that one scene, and then dealing with all the fallout. Kind of like using Tinder while also trying to save a world that keeps trying to kill you. It could use less talking in some moments and more losing-yourself-in-her-moan moments, but maybe that tension is part of why it sticks in my head after I close the browser.