It starts messy, in the best possible way. You’re tossed into this warped version of the galaxy far, far away - not the kind that smells like burnt metal and destiny, but one thick with sweat and bad decisions. The whole thing feels like a fever dream that someone spun out after one too many Holonet smut threads. You’re the guy who somehow made it to Jedi Knight while everyone else got distracted by the war or by each other’s asses (and they’re massive here, holy hell). Half the time you forget why you’re supposed to be saving anything because Barriss bends forward mid-dialogue and the robe just... doesn’t hold. Then there’s Aayla, all cool confidence until her mouth opens, breathing hard like she’s half-daring you to break the code. They all do that. Even Padme - who says words about diplomacy but arches her back every time your name drops. It’s ridiculous and hot at once, like watching porn on mute during a political debate.

The turn-based fights almost feel like foreplay. Every encounter teases longer than necessary, camera angles doing that thing where you can’t tell if you’re fighting monsters or auditioning them for something darker. When Bo-Katan shows up, the whole tempo changes - less talk, more bite - and suddenly the lightsaber doesn’t look like a weapon anymore. My favorite stupid detail: in the menu, somebody coded a “meditation” button that just leads to sex scenes. Lazy? Sure. But it fits. Nothing here pretends to be noble; it’s all dirty Jedi business in slow motion. And when the game finally pops one of those creampie endings, you don’t even blink. You just chuckle, fix the screen ratio on your phone, and keep pressing through because apparently defeat can look like victory if the moaning syncs just right.

Weird thing is - somewhere between the teasing and the parody nonsense - it stops feeling like a joke. You catch yourself liking these twisted versions more than the real ones. Maybe that’s the Force talking. Or just the fact that the writing knows exactly how low you’ll sink for another glimpse under a Jedi robe.

You start as this kinda clueless guy dumped into a “totally not official” region, phone in one hand, half a chub in the other, and suddenly you’re supposed to be both monster trainer and professional horndog. The game plays it like a classic monster RPG, turn based fights and all, but every win feels more like you’re grinding Tinder than grinding levels. You throw balls at monsters, then five minutes later you’re throwing something else at Misty in a changing room. I was half expecting it to be all tease, but nope, it goes hard on the porn side. Big asses, big tits, tiny shorts, way too much bending over. Cynthia shows up with that smug “I know you’re staring at my boobs” energy, and the game absolutely rewards you for being a thirsty idiot. You can wander around like a sandbox, poke into houses you clearly shouldn’t, get sidetracked by some milf asking for “help with her Pokémon” who definitely does not mean her Pokémon. At one point I was supposed to go beat a gym and instead spent 30 minutes trying to trigger a specific sex scene with Nessa because someone on a Reddit thread said it was animated differently on the second try. They were right, by the way. Worth it.

The pickup line stuff hit me harder than I expected. You actually choose dialogue in some scenes, and it feels like speed dating with cheat codes turned off. One option is polite, one is horny, one is just straight up degenerate. I tested them like a weirdo doing field research. On Telegram I even sent screenshots to a language exchange buddy asking “does this line sound like a real fuckboy?” He said yes and I felt strangely proud. Sometimes being bold pays off and Misty basically jumps your dick in the locker after a battle. Other times you try something dirty on Dawn, and she goes “wow, creepy” and the scene turns colder, you still get sex later, but the vibe is different, more rough, less cuddly. It actually teaches you something weird about tone, even if the game itself is mostly about shoving your cock into every trainer with a pulse. The monsters are just there like foreplay excuses, beat one, unlock a new way to rail someone. I wish there was an option to mute the moaning without muting sound effects, but the game doesn’t care what I want and honestly that fits. At one point I forgot the main quest completely and just walked in circles trying new lines on Cynthia to see which one made her blush the most. Felt like using OkCupid in a fantasy world where every match wants to fuck you five minutes after small talk. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Waking up naked in a city that looks like Silent Hill fucked a factory and then forgot to clean up after, that’s the vibe here. You open your eyes, have zero clue who you are, and the first real thing you focus on is this girl, Ophelia, who is hot in a wrong kind of way. Not wrong like “oh no, she’s evil”, more like “why does her body move like that and why do I like it so much”. She talks to you like she’s already decided you’re hers, and the game never really lets you feel fully safe around her, even when she’s stroking your cheek or dropping to her knees in first person view. One second you’re flirting, next second you’re both scavenging in a ruined supermarket while something wet and angry screams somewhere in the dark aisle behind the cereal. It’s messy, horny, and kind of romantic in that trash-fire way where the world is ending but you still argue about who gets to be on top.

The loop sneaks up on you. At first you just click around, pick up scrap, figure out some simple crafting, like “ok, I need this to not die, and that to impress the monster girl who can snap me like a twig but would rather tease me senseless”. Then you start thinking in turns. That nasty creature you meet in the subway? You’re watching its attack pattern, saving skills, deciding if losing here is actually a bad thing, because there is a non-zero chance it pins you down and suddenly you’re getting railed while the combat music is still echoing in your head. Sometimes it’s vaginal, sometimes it’s anal, sometimes the thing pulls out a surprise dick and your brain goes “wait what” at the same time your body goes “keep going”. The wild part is, a lot of these sexy punishments you can avoid if you don’t fuck up, but the game kind of tempts you to misplay. Like, you know that if you keep defending instead of killing her, this tall futa hunter might “reward” you by using your mouth until the screen literally fogs. I said I was going to play smart and then suddenly I am losing a fight on purpose like a clown.

The mood keeps swinging. You get this bleak, broken-city horror, ruined apartments lit by flickering signs, dead silence in one street and then some giggly banter with Ophelia as she strips piece by piece while pretending it’s part of a “strategic plan” to distract an enemy. Sure girl, it’s for tactics. She kisses another woman in front of you once, slow and deep, and you get that sharp jealous sting that hits harder than most jump scares. If you push it, they drag it into full lesbian territory and you’re just there, stuck between wanting to watch and wanting to join. There’s also these quiet POV moments when she crawls into your lap in some half-collapsed shelter, tells you stupid jokes, then casually opens your pants and starts sucking you off while still talking about survival routes like this is the most normal thing. The romance side is weirdly soft in places, with her asking little things about what you like, what you hate, how rough she can be, and from that point the dating sim brain kicks in and you start gaming her affection like it’s Tinder but with actual teeth. I wish the UI for the crafting menu didn’t look like it was slapped together in a hurry, but in a twisted way it fits the whole ruined-world energy, so I’m not even confident I want it changed. Just be warned: if you’re like me and tell yourself “I’m going to focus on survival”, you’ll still end up knee deep in sex scenes where losing a turn in combat means some hungry girl-monster is riding you in full animation and you suddenly forget completely why you came into that area in the first place.

You wake up in a world that finally stopped killing itself with wars, and somehow it feels even weirder. No epic quest, no demon lord to stab, just this quiet, awkward peace and a hometown where people are falling into this slow, horny coma called Blissful Sleep. They look peaceful, but something is very wrong, and of course your own sister is hit by it, so you drag your ass back home. Daytime is all about pretending to be a normal adventurer who totally doesn’t get turned on by half the people in town. You plan routes, buy gear, manage your team like some horny version of a strategy RPG, but every little choice is secretly about who you want closer, who you tease, who you push into your orbit. There’s a priestess who talks about purity and then accidentally brushes your thigh a bit too long, a strict milf who pretends she’s only here to keep order but blushes like crazy when you actually flirt, and a monster girl with way too many sharp teeth who still somehow feels like the safest one to fall asleep next to. Text boxes look harmless until suddenly someone is on their knees and you’re trying to pretend you didn’t just click through a blowjob scene in two seconds by mistake because your hand slipped.

Night comes and the real shit starts. You drop into the dream world, and that place doesn’t care about your morals at all. It’s turn based, it’s dice, it’s numbers on the screen, but the fights feel dirty in a good way. Succubi taunt you mid combat, offering buffs if you “relax your guard” and let them sit on your face between turns. There’s this futa knight who shows up like some recurring miniboss, towering over you, cock already half hard, offering you a “truce” where she pins you down and uses your body as tribute. Lose to her too many times and you kinda stop being sure who’s dominating who, because yeah she’s the one fucking you, but you’re the one choosing to lean into it every time. The game lets you tongue-first your way through monster girls, slide into warm dream pussies, fill them until their bellies twitch, then throws you back into the daytime like nothing happened. Religion shows up twisted inside the dreams, holy symbols glowing while a pious girl wraps her tits around your shaft, whispering prayers while she milks you for another creampie in the name of “salvation”. You’re supposed to be solving the curse, finding the core of the Blissful Sleep, but some runs you just wander from event to event, pushing lust values, half-accidentally turning a kind woman into someone who begs strangers for cock in her dreams because you kept choosing the slightly more pervy option whenever it popped up. And somewhere in there, between a teasing handjob in the camp tent and a brutal futa-on-hero pegging session after a bad roll, you realize you’re not just exploring the dream world. It’s exploring you back.