Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

Tsunade here looks like she just finished one bottle of sake too many and decided “fuck it, I’m getting wrecked today.” The whole thing feels like you accidentally opened someone’s filthy secret project in an old browser tab and then stayed because it actually hits the right spots. You start with her on all fours, that ridiculous round ass filling the whole screen, and everything is from your eyes only, like you’re pressed right behind her, hips touching, smelling her sweat and perfume mix. There’s no long intro, no fake romance, just her kneeling there with those huge tits hanging and bouncing under her, waiting for you to start slamming her like a bad decision. It’s messy in a good way. The controls are simple and kinda janky, like the flash era never died, but honestly that makes it feel more dirty. You click, the pace changes, her ass starts clapping, her back arches, she moans louder, and suddenly the room in the game feels smaller, more humid, like she’s gonna drag you down with her.

The best part is how her body reacts. Those massive boobs swing under her with a tiny delay every time you thrust, like they got their own physics engine that only cares about making you distracted. You find yourself staring at her tits for way too long, then remember the real show is that fat ass in front of you, cheeks shaking every time you push in. The angle makes you feel like you’re practically inside her, watching your shaft disappear between her thighs, and then you notice little details that shouldn’t matter but they do: the faint shine on her skin, that tiny twitch in her lower back when you go deeper, the way her hair moves a bit when your rhythm gets rough. There’s this one moment when you speed it up, and her whole body starts to give up, shoulders dropping, head lowering, like she’s not the Hokage anymore, just a horny milf begging you to fill her. You keep going, the sound in your head louder than any actual sound, and when you finally decide to finish, you dump it all inside her and watch the cum spill back out slowly, thick and warm-looking, like her pussy is trying to keep it but failing. It’s dirty, it’s simple, it’s raw, and it kinda feels like a secret little fuck session you weren’t supposed to see but can’t stop replaying anyway.

Con-Quest is one of those horny little browser things that looks kind of silly at first, then three minutes later you’re way too invested in whether some half-naked Pikachu cosplayer is going to stomp you or blow you a kiss. It plays like an RPG that forgot to be serious, which is good, but if you care about accessibility like I do, it also kinda forgot blind and low-vision players exist. The whole game is just walls of small bright text on bright backgrounds, no text size slider, no contrast options, no colorblind presets, nothing. I tried zooming in with Chrome and Firefox, had to keep dragging the screen around like some weird porn spreadsheet. And yeah, I know, you came here to jerk off, not to read a UI audit, but still. When Vanilla storms around the convention hunting the money thief, you get these fun, snappy lines, but if you have any reading difficulty or ADHD it turns into “click, click, where was I again.” They sped up the text speed which sounds good, until your eyes are slower than the horny dialogue and you’re chasing every line like it is Snapchat. At least the animated portraits are nice and expressive, Ivy’s smug grin is perfect when she’s basically edging you with teasing comments, but they don’t help when you can’t tell which character is speaking because the name text is tiny and there is zero voice indication.

The lewd part is funny and stupid in a good way. You’re running around this con full of cosplayers who clearly did not come for child friendly content. There’s a Meowth girl who basically flirts by bullying you, dressed in ears, tail, tight little outfit that clings like latex, and the “reward” is you humiliating her through battle and then getting this multi-stage animated scene where she goes from cocky to absolutely ruined for you. It is not subtle. Pokemon parody everywhere, bootleg mons jokes, sexy Flygon girl pinned into this “oops I fell on you” pose, Mia and Nia doing this twin act that feels like it wants to be wholesome and still ends up about you undressing them with stickers. The sticker book is basically your porn gallery, of course, but cycling characters with keyboard or screen reader? Forget it. I tried NVDA and JAWS out of habit, they both just saw a pile of unlabeled buttons and decorative images. No alt text, no focus order that makes sense, just “button, button, button” so if you play by ear it is like trying to masturbate while somebody reads you the settings menu of Microsoft Word. The new second floor is fun to explore, the whole “Vanilla might have this thief killed” plot gives her a mean streak that is kinda hot, kinda scary, but if you’re sensitive to flicker or fast motion, the quick sliding portraits in dialogue and sudden UI shifts can be a bit much and there is no toggle. Funny thing is, they clearly know how to tweak code, optimize performance, hook up animated rewards, tease you with topless alt portraits, but a simple “bigger font” button or high-contrast mode is still missing. I keep grumbling about that while also chasing every new horny cosplayer quest like a dog with a bone, which probably says more about me than about the game.

Mythology tells of six realms, mysteriously linked though their connection remains hidden. Now, a massive shift is on the horizon that could shatter the peace and endanger all worlds involved. Stepping into this chaos, you must find a way to stop the coming doom, even as uncertainty clouds your path. At your side stands a wizened old sorcerer, ready to share his vast knowledge and guide you through the treacherous journey. Yet, the wizard’s entourage of stunning female fighters and alluring elves could easily seduce your focus away from the grave task at hand. Journey through these interconnected realms, facing perilous challenges and the seductive pull of forbidden pleasures. Your decisions carry weight, influencing the delicate balance of power and life across all six realms. Immerse yourself in a tale where arcane forces and raw passion intertwine, demanding your strength and will. Can you overcome the looming threat and your own distractions to protect the six realms? The destiny of these worlds waits for your command - begin your journey today and forge your legacy.