GUPP die Film feels like someone took a war movie, a horny school comedy, and a very specific porn search history, shook it all together and then forgot to clean it up. In a good way. Well, mostly good. You’re dropped into this weird “parallel to the original show” thing, where everybody acts like you already know all the memes from Panzussy, and if you don’t, tough shit, you’ll learn on the fly. One moment you’re watching tanks roll and uniforms move, next moment you’re staring straight into a futa officer’s cock in POV while she tells you you’re her special little virgin toy who is absolutely not allowed to cum yet. The tone whiplash is kind of the charm. The girls are ridiculous on purpose: big tits, big asses, school setting but with that twisted “sensei, this is so illegal” vibe, like the whole academy is just an excuse for them to line you up and see which hole they want first. It starts almost cute, then the animated scenes hit, and suddenly you’re getting footjob and handjob back to back and trying to remember what the plot was even about. I liked that. Then I hated it. Then I liked it again. Classic porn brain.

The best part for me is how the game treats you like the universe’s most confused virgin. You’re technically in the story, POV glued right behind the eyes of this poor bastard (or poor girl, depending how you headcanon it) who just wanted to get through school and instead ends up in this soft harem of predators. Female domination all over the place. They push you against tanks, against desks, against each other. One commander type makes you kneel while she explains “tactics,” then rewards you with slow oral and it turns into deep, messy throat action while her boot presses your chest. Another scene, a futa big-sister figure in uniform makes you lick her balls first, then sits on your face and calls it discipline. There’s vaginal sex that actually feels like a payoff, not just “insert scene A into slot B.” By the time a stacked tank girl rides you raw and fills you with creampie just because you dared to look at someone else’s ass, you kinda accept that yeah, this world is broken on purpose. They tease harem structure but it’s more like everyone owns you and you’re pretending you still have choices. I wish there was less sudden camera cutting in some of the animated bits, it pulls you out of the moment for half a second, especially when the footjob suddenly zooms to a weird angle and you lose that “I’m actually here” feeling. But then a smug futa commander wipes her cum off your lips with her thumb, calls you “good pet,” and you forget you were annoyed at anything at all.

Simon Seiyaz. Even the name sounds like a placeholder the dev forgot to change. You wake up on a spaceship, nine women, saving the universe by sticking your dick in things. It's the plot of every third hentai flash game from 2006 and I'm here for it like a raccoon in a dumpster. The whole thing is a parody that knows it's a parody, winking so hard it might sprain something. The 3DCG models have that specific jank where the tits seem to operate on a different physics engine than the rest of the body, which is honestly perfect for the ahegao expressions. When those faces hit, they hit like a truck full of cartoonishly crossed eyes and drool.

The sci-fi setting is basically a hallway simulator with space windows. Doesn't matter. You're not here for the riveting plot about... what was it? Some mission. The monster girl shows up and I forgot everything else. She's got the teasing down to an art form, the kind of exhibitionism where she knows exactly what she's doing to the male protagonist and the player. The creampie scenes are messy and unapologetic, the way god intended. I do wish the dialogue had more bite though. For a humor tag, it plays things surprisingly straight sometimes, like it forgets it's allowed to be stupid. But then a character will say something so profoundly dumb about "dating in deep space" that I snort and forgive it.

The disjointed pace the description promises is real. Scenes just happen. One minute you're talking, next minute clothes are optional and someone's bent over a console. There's no smooth transition, just horny teleportation. It's like scrolling through a gallery with occasional text boxes. And you know what? Fine. I've played visual novels with better writing that were less honest about what they are. This thing has big tits and zero shame. The exhibitionism scenes on the ship's bridge are a highlight, everyone just going about their day while the protagonist gets... distracted. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

The eyepatch stays on during sex. That's not a complaint, just an observation, because this Himeno parody thing gets that one detail right while somehow making her tits look like they were generated by an AI that's only ever seen hentai from 2006. Which they probably were, given the whole "AI CG" tag situation. Not that I'm complaining about the size, just... consistency, you know? One scene they're normal, next scene it's like someone inflated them with a bicycle pump between dialogue boxes.

The game itself. Right. It's a Chainsaw Man visual novel focused entirely on getting into Himeno's pants, and honestly, the writing swings wildly between "surprisingly tender" and "what if we just described her eye patch for the fourth time." There's this one scene where she's talking about devil hunting casualties, genuinely moody stuff, and then two clicks later you're balls deep with creampie animation that loops like a broken GIF. The tonal whiplash could give you actual neck problems. But the sex scenes, when they happen, are detailed enough that I forgot I was clicking through static images with some minor animation overlays. Vaginal only, by the way, no variety in the acts themselves, which feels like a missed opportunity when you've got a character this interesting.

Choices matter supposedly, but I clicked through twice and ended up in the same bedroom scene both times. Maybe there's a secret route where you don't fuck her? Doubt it. The whole thing runs in browser, which meant I accidentally opened it on my phone during lunch break and had to explain nothing because I closed that tab so fast. Worth a look if you've got a thing for eyepatch girls and don't mind the uncanny valley of AI art where her fingers sometimes merge together during the intimate bits. Which happens twice. I counted.

Android 18’s hair is wrong. Not the color, that weird lavender-grey is fine, but the shape. It sits too flat on her head like someone pasted a magazine cutout onto a 3D model. I spent maybe twenty minutes just staring at it during the first scene where Gohan bumps into her at some market. The game is a sandbox parody thing, Dragon Ball Z but after Cell, and Gohan suddenly realizes women exist. You click around, build stats, unlock scenes. Standard stuff.

The animation during the first real encounter with 18 caught me off guard though. She’s bent over a washing machine, I think, and the loop is janky, her back arches in a way that looks painful, but the sound design is weirdly intimate. Just breathing and the wet slap of it. No music. The anal route unlocks way too early, before you even do the vaginal scene with her, which feels like a bug but maybe it’s a choice. A strange one. Her tits bounce with a delay, like they’re underwater. I couldn’t stop replaying it. The cheating tag applies because Krillin exists in this timeline, you see him training in the background of one map, completely oblivious. That made my stomach feel hollow in a way I didn’t expect from a hentai game.

The harem mechanics are broken. Bulma shows up in a nightie during a quest about dragon balls and you can just... proceed. No buildup. Chi-Chi has a milf route that’s locked behind a weirdly high cooking stat grind. I spent an hour fishing for ingredients. An hour. For a scene where she just sighs and calls you a good boy. The adventure parts are walking through static backgrounds ripped from the anime, and the superpowers are just menu buttons that fill a bar. I wish the sandbox had more random events, like 18 showing up at your school or something, but it won’t happen. The game is what it is. A messy, horny collage where Gohan’s face stays blank even when he’s balls deep in a married woman. That blankness is the most honest part.

Hope is supposed to feel heroic, right? Shining armor, holy blade, save the world, all that Final Fantasy MMO stuff you whisper to yourself while scrolling through Tinder and pretending you’re not lonely as hell. Here you’re the big “Warrior of Light” who literally runs on emotions, which sounds cool until you realize you’ve basically edged your soul dry. You burned all your feelings like stamina potions, and now the only way to refill the tank is with “very positive” sensations. Yeah. That kind. It’s like going to therapy, but the therapist is a horny fantasy cast who low‑key wants to rail you, suck you, ride you or in some cases eat you because monster girls are apparently just normal now. The whole thing plays like a weird lovechild of a dating sim and an RPG, where half the time you’re clicking around like an old point and click adventure, and the other half you’re doing turn based combat that feels suspiciously like foreplay with health bars.

What actually got me was how the game just shrugs and goes “yeah, sex is literally your power source” and never apologizes. You’re exhausted from your last quest and instead of grinding goblins you’re grinding, well, other stuff. One scene you’re sitting in some cozy fantasy inn room, and a girl who’s supposed to be your serious comrade is acting all professional while slowly jerking you off in this slow handjob that somehow turns into a heartfelt talk about responsibility. She’s praising your “bravery” with her mouth full a minute later and you’re thinking, this is stupid, and also I relate way too hard. Then there’s this super smug mage who offers “experimental therapy”, which is just code for bending you over a desk and going for anal while lecturing you about magical theory like she’s a horny Duolingo owl. And the game just treats it like a normal buff scene: “you gained +2 resilience” after getting absolutely wrecked. Made me laugh harder than it should. I kept waiting for my phone to buzz with a Telegram message or a Discord ping, but no, just me, this fantasy clinic, and an elf who somehow turns an oral session into a damn job interview. There’s lesbian stuff too, like two girls using you as a fancy toy while they focus more on each other, and you’re kind of just there, moaning in the middle, and it still counts as your “recovery training”. One monster girl with way too many teeth offers a “kiss”, I misclicked, and suddenly I’m in a scene that feels like a hentai parody of a boss fight where the only command that matters is “don’t cum yet” and of course I lost that turn.

The humor hits close to home, painfully so. The game keeps joking about hope and destiny while you’re basically on a sex-cation because you can’t handle your own feelings without someone stroking them out of you. There’s a route with a male character that the game just drops on you so casually that I actually respected it, even though the first time he leaned in I mashed mouse buttons like I was trying to close a pop‑up ad on Pornhub. Still ended up in a very intense “training” session where he’s teaching you how to control Dynamis, and you suddenly realize the rhythm he’s talking about is not combat related at all. Some scenes are wonderfully romantic, like slow, patient vaginal sex in a starlit field that feels almost too soft for a porn game, and then the next one is raw, dirty oral in a supply closet with jokes about potion viscosity that made me hate myself for laughing. I wish the game didn’t repeat certain moans and lines so much, but here I am replaying that one little moment where a knight girl blushes before she asks if “using your mouth as a scabbard counts as training”. It doesn’t fix my empty DMs on WhatsApp, or the fact that my real dating life has less turn based combat and more instant defeat, but at least here my emotional burnout actually gets me laid instead of just sending me back to scrolling through Hinge in silence.

I kinda forgot how messy this game gets until I replayed it last month on my old phone just to check if the new update finally fixed the looping animation bug (it didn’t, it’s just slower now). Somewhere between mind-controlling Tsunade and watching Hinata’s face freeze mid–uh, scene–I stopped caring about the bugs, to be honest. There’s a weird comfort in how it refuses to behave. It feels like fanfiction that grew sentient and horny, then refused to take any advice. The story jumps everywhere, first you’re plotting power restoration, next you’re in a completely different timeline, suddenly naked Temari shows up like it’s totally natural. The lines between plot and porn melt so quick it's almost funny. And the moans - they reused the same voice clip for at least three characters, I swear. I’d complain but somehow that repetition turned strangely endearing.

What surprises me more each time is how the corruption mechanic sneaks in with that soft glow thing - it looks almost sweet until it isn’t. The transition from flirting to absolute control is too fast but then again, that’s the point I guess. I keep thinking I’ll feel something moral about it, but by the time Sakura’s bending into the scene, that thought’s gone. There’s this one bit with Shizune, candles everywhere, she’s supposed to be resisting but the animation’s looping so long it becomes hypnotic. It’s supposed to be erotic but ends up giving me mild existential pause. I love that about it though; the awkward contradictions. Like Karui’s route - it’s a mess of domination, soft giggles, and what feels like accidentally deep emotional beats.

And yet people still mod it like crazy. Someone on Reddit added voice reactions that are somehow worse and better at once. Custom outfits, too - some genius replaced all the tools in the toy scenes with ramen ladles (don’t ask). It’s trashy, doomed, and completely unashamed. That raw edge, that little flicker between dirty parody and accidental intimacy… maybe that’s why I keep coming back. Or maybe I’m just chasing the glitch that freezes Tsunade’s breasts mid-bounce because honestly that’s art.

The poker hands are absolute bullshit and I love it. You sit down across from this redhead with tits that defy physics, the kind of AI generated curves that make you wonder what prompt they used, and she deals you a full house like it's nothing. Then she leans forward, the 2D art getting all up in your face, and suddenly you're not thinking about cards anymore. The whole thing is a parody of itself, a casino run by a guy named Lucio who apparently can't keep his business afloat unless he's also getting his dick wet. Makes sense.

The stripping is where my brain short circuited. You win a hand, she loses a piece of clothing. Standard stuff. But the teasing, man. There's this one scene where she's down to just the lingerie, holding the cards against her chest, and the dialogue is so stupidly charming I forgot I was supposed to be horny. Something about her "royal flush" being better than mine. I snorted. Then the clothes came off and I remembered why I was there. The harem aspect creeps in slow, other girls showing up between hands, each one more ridiculous than the last. A romance subplot with the redhead actually got me invested for like five minutes before I skipped to the next strip sequence.

The AI CG art is a fever dream. Sometimes her proportions look like a Renaissance painting, other times like a funhouse mirror. One frame her ass is normal, the next it's consuming the entire chair. I kept screenshots. Not for the obvious reason, just because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The visual novel format means you're clicking through text boxes while trying to ignore how her left eye is slightly bigger than the right in certain angles. It's not polished. It's not supposed to be. It's a casino game where the real gamble is whether the next CG will be hot or hilarious. I lost more hands than I won because I was too busy laughing at the absurdity of it all. The male protagonist is such a nothing character, just a pair of hands and a wallet, but that's fine because nobody's here for him.

Fucking Sarena. I mean, the whole point is getting to Sarena, right? That orange-haired Kalos queen with the ribbon and the eyes that say she's seen your browser history and isn't even mad. The game knows what you're here for. It's not subtle. You click through these puzzles, these weird little sliding tile things or whatever, and every time you solve one, another piece of her clothing just... evaporates. Poof. Like magic but better. The AI-generated art has that slightly glossy, too-smooth look, like someone fed a thousand rule34 posts into a blender and hit frappe. Sometimes her fingers look weird. You won't care.

Ash is there too, I guess. Being Ash. Making that dumb face he makes when he's about to win a badge or walk directly into a Team Rocket trap. The combat, if you can call it that, is just more puzzles. Match some icons, watch a health bar go down, get rewarded with Sarena bending over in a way that defies both anatomy and the laws of physics. The dialogue is pure parody, the kind of stuff you'd read on a forum at 2am and snort at. "I choose you, Pikachu!" but it's not Pikachu he's choosing, if you catch my drift. And then the happy ending. Literally. The description promises it and it delivers, no fakeouts, no "to be continued" bullshit.

The 2D segments mixed with the 3DCG is jarring as hell though. Like someone couldn't decide if they wanted a visual novel or a low-budget hentai cutscene and just said fuck it, both. The romance is about as deep as a puddle but who's here for poetry? You're here to see Sarena's tits and the game knows it. The humor lands maybe half the time, the rest is just... there. But when it hits, when Ash says something so stupidly in-character while Sarena's top is literally vanishing, you'll laugh. You'll feel a little ashamed. You'll click the next puzzle anyway.

Futa Healthcare is a mess. A horny, unpolished, sometimes baffling mess that I kept clicking through anyway. The renders look like someone learned Blender last month and decided to render on a potato, but there's this one scene with the head nurse, a towering futa with tits that defy physics, where the lighting actually kinda works and you see what they were going for. Then the next scene the doctor's hand clips through a desk and you remember this is early access in the most brutal sense.

The whole setup is this young guy joining a clinic that specializes in futa care. Noble intentions, sure, but five minutes in he's getting a handjob from a patient and the pretense drops hard. The dialogue is pure porn logic. A nurse needs a "sample" and suddenly there's a prostate exam happening. The futa on male stuff is aggressive, lots of forced moans and that weird squelching sound effect that loops badly. But then there's a futa on futa scene with a doctor and patient that has this slow, teasing build up, lots of groping through that tight uniform, and the animation, while janky, has this one loop where the dom just grinds against the other girl's ass and the expression work is surprisingly decent. Like, actually hot for a second before the audio desyncs.

The parody elements are thin. It's a hospital. They wear vaguely medical outfits. That's it. The incest tag is there for a side character who might be the protagonist's mom, a milf doctor who does a solo masturbation scene with a toy that looks like it was modeled from memory. Exhibitionism pops up in a hallway scene that makes zero logical sense but hey, it's a game about futa nurses draining patients, logic left the building ages ago. The multiple protagonist thing is weird too, you switch perspectives without warning and suddenly you're the one getting pegged. It's disorienting in a way that's almost artsy if you squint. Almost.

Wish the oral sex scenes had more variety. It's the same bobbing animation recycled across three characters. But that one anal scene with the interracial couple, the futa on female one, has this raw energy the rest of the game lacks. The teasing mechanic is just clicking through text, no real choices, but the writing during those moments has this playful, mean edge that works. Then it's back to stilted dialogue about "healthcare." The game doesn't know if it wants to be a joke or take its fetish seriously and honestly, neither do I.