So this game basically throws you onto some magical anime girl island after you get horny and follow some chick with a fat ass - yeah that's literally the setup and honestly? It works. Don't Toy With Me is one of those sandbox harem deals where you're surrounded by every waifu you've ever jerked off to, from Hinata's massive tits to Zero Two's perfect curves. The whole thing feels like someone's wet dream made manifest, which I guess it literally is according to the dev.

The variety is insane though - you got your shy Hinata types, your bratty Nagatoro energy, thicc One Piece girls like Robin and Nami, plus a bunch of others I recognized but can't remember the names of right now. Each girl has their own little personality quirks and the interactions feel pretty natural for what they are. Like when you're chatting with Nagatoro she's actually being a teasing bitch instead of just generic anime girl #47. The sex scenes are animated which is nice, lots of titfucks and creampies and the usual stuff you'd expect. Some of the girls look a bit young but that's anime for you I guess? The ahegao faces during climax scenes are chef's kiss though.

What bugs me is the school setting feels kinda pointless - like why am I attending classes when I could be railing Yoruichi instead? But then again maybe that's the point, building up tension before you get to the good stuff. The mobile version runs smooth on my phone which is surprising since most of these games lag like hell. There's this whole mystery about how you ended up there but honestly who gives a shit when Erza Scarlett wants to fuck your brains out. The sandbox element means you can basically choose your own adventure with whoever catches your eye that day. Sometimes I wish there was more story but then Esdeath shows up and suddenly I don't care about plot anymore.

Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Street brawls and horny brain rot in one place, that is basically this thing. You’re running around a city that feels like somebody mixed a fighting tournament with Pornhub search history, and then just said “yeah, that’s fine” and left it like that. One moment you’re throwing hands with Chun-Li, trying not to stare at her thighs for too long, next moment you’re balls deep in her, watching her go full ahegao while she still talks shit like she’s winning the match. It’s not subtle at all. Juri Han shows up and the whole vibe switches from “street justice” to “I might actually be her pet now and that’s okay”. She’ll stomp you, choke you a bit, that lazy evil grin on her face, then ride you until you forget what your health bar looked like. Half the time it feels less like a normal game and more like some bizarre therapy session where all your kinks get dragged out one by one and no one pretends to be innocent.

What got me hooked was how the fights never feel separate from the sex. You start a match thinking “ok, normal 1v1, let’s try some combos”, and fifteen clicks later you’re pinning Lucia Morgan against a wall in some alley, her uniform half-open, sweat and cum everywhere, the “victory” screen basically being her legs shaking while you give her a creampie. There is this one scene with Cammy where you lose on purpose, just to see what happens, and instead of a boring game over she flips you, takes control, rides your face and makes you cum with nothing but her feet. It’s that kind of game where you think you’re the tough male protagonist, then a woman like A.K.I. grinds her heel on your chest, poisons you, and uses you like a toy while you’re barely conscious, and your brain goes, “yeah ok, I guess I’m into that now”. And it doesn’t stop at quick fucks either, there is romance woven in, that weird tender moment after all the filth where someone like Manon or Lily Hawk leans in, kisses you slow, and talks about wanting your child, then later you see her tits swollen, pregnant, still ready to ride you again before the next fight. The game is messy, horny, animated in all the right ways, a mix of big asses, creampies, footjobs and domination, and sometimes you wish the story was less all over the place, but honestly that chaos kind of fits. It feels like scrolling through three different porn tabs and a fighting game wiki at the same time, except here it all somehow clicks together and leaves you way more drained than you planned to be.

You know that feeling when you open a One Piece porn game “just to check it out for five minutes” and then suddenly you’re juggling bounties, half-naked marines and trying to remember which island had the milf with the poison tits? That’s this thing in a nutshell. You start as this clueless guy who wanted to be a good little marine, then shit goes sideways and suddenly you’re eating some weird fruit, getting weird powers and everybody either wants to kill you or sit on your face. Sometimes both. It plays like a messy mix of RPG and sandbox: you run around ports and bases, click on icons, manage quests and money, train stats in some gym menu that looks way too innocent for what you actually use that strength for later. You pick a bounty, you travel, you get distracted by boobs, repeat. It’s all very “I’ll just do one more quest” and then you end up in a scene where Nico Robin is calmly ruining your self-control while you pretend you’re still here for the plot.

The girls are the real problem. Like, your productivity in this game will die. One second you’re talking tactics, next second Nami is teasing you, bending over a desk, pulling that “oh no captain, is this against regulations?” thing, and you’re clicking through dialogue with one hand. Tashigi shows up all stiff and serious, sword at her hip, then five minutes later she’s in a POV blowjob scene where her glasses are fogging up and you’re thinking “yeah, this is exactly how the Navy works.” Boa Hancock acts like a goddess, obviously, and when she finally drops the act and lets you mess her up, the game throws you a full ahegao cumshot with those animated facial twitches and it’s honestly more intense than most fighting in the actual anime. Reiju hits different though: pink hair, poison powers, big soft breasts, and she’s all smug while she jerks you off with one hand and explains casually how her toxins should have killed you if you weren’t “special.” I was like, girl, I’m already dead, emotionally.

There’s also this weird harem “management” vibe where you’re trying to keep everyone progressing, leveling up relationships, unlocking more pervy scenes, but you always end up neglecting someone because you got distracted by a new pair of tits. I kept telling myself I’d focus on missions, get my bounty level high, min-max stats and all that serious gamer talk, then Black Maria appears with those huge thighs and this lazy smirk, rides you in a POV scene and any plan goes straight into the sea. Sometimes the pacing is janky, like you grind random quests to unlock one specific anal scene with Zala and by the time you get there you forgot why you wanted it, but then she starts playing with your cock, teasing you, sitting on it slowly while keeping eye contact, and suddenly all that grinding feels very, very justified. The game doesn’t pretend to be classy. There’s vaginal, oral, anal, masturbation, corruption vibes where girls go from “I would never” to drooling, tongue-out ahegao, begging for more, and you’re just there clicking “next” like some pervert god of poor life choices. It’s trashy and horny and kind of clumsy in spots, but it knows exactly what you came for and it keeps throwing more thick pirate ladies and marines with big tits in your face until you forget what your original goal even was.