I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

You start as this absolute bottom-of-the-barrel guy, the kind of dude who probably smells like cheap instant coffee and porn tab history, and then suddenly an ancient demon just pops into your life like it’s a Discord ping. No contract, no “I’ll take your soul,” nothing serious. He just wants to watch you stumble through a world full of horny women, bad decisions, and way too many chances to stick your dick where it really, really shouldn’t go. The vibe is half dumb comedy, half “oh shit, she’s actually letting me do that?” and it swings between them so fast you don’t even notice when you’re laughing at a joke while your mouse is already hovering over the next choice that leads to someone moaning your name.

What I really liked is how the game plays with your expectations. You think “ok, generic loser turned sex magnet, I know this story,” and then the demon just keeps trolling you. One scene he’s hyping you up to seduce a girl, next scene he’s basically calling you an idiot while still helping you get your dick wet. I had this moment with one of the girls where it started like a soft romance thing, kinda sweet, almost wholesome, then the dialog took a weird turn, and a few clicks later I was balls deep in her on the floor, with the demon dropping sarcastic comments in the background like some perverted Twitch chat. It’s not subtle at all, and that’s somehow the charm. Sex hits fast, positions change quick, clothes vanish like they’re allergic to screen time, and the whole thing feels like someone mashed horny fanfic and shitpost humor together after a long day.

Not everything works, and that’s fine, it actually makes it feel more human. Some jokes land flat as fuck, like they were written while scrolling Twitter and never reread. There’s this tiny UI thing with how some choices sit a bit crooked on the textbox, and for some reason that annoyed me way more than it should. I kept staring at it, like “why is that word shifted a pixel?” while a girl is literally riding the MC and moaning in the background. One scene fades a bit too fast right before the cumshot and it pissed me off way more than the demon did. Porn brain wants to see the finish, not a quick fade like a shy YouTuber cutting a video. But then the next route throws you into another crazy situation, the MC still being a horny idiot, the demon still poking fun, and suddenly you’re watching tits bounce again and kinda forget what you were complaining about in the first place. The whole thing feels like a trashy, horny night where you promised yourself “just one more scene” and somehow you’re still clicking, half for the sex, half to see how much stupider and hornier this loser’s life can get.

This one feels like some horny yaoi doujin artist got drunk, played a couple old-school RPGs on an emulator, and said “ok, but what if everything had dicks and bad decisions.” You start off in this starving farm village where two boys basically cling to each other to stay sane and horny at the same time. Rascal is your main dumbass, all emotions and abs, totally obsessed with his childhood friend, convinced “love will fix everything” while monsters are literally shoving tentacles into people two screens away. The village gets fucked over by the kingdom, everyone dragged off to this place called Satan’s Prison, and you go from cuddly poor romance to “gay disaster shonen hero” in like five clicks. It shouldn’t work, but it kinda does, because the game never slows down to ask if you’re ok with it. It just throws you from one weird situation to another, like “oh no, my whole village is enslaved, also this femboy with cat ears wants to milk me now.”

The RPG part is there, obviously, but it’s less about strategy and more about “how many bad horny choices can I stack before the next scene.” You wander around, smack some monsters, then suddenly you’re getting pinned by a monster girl with too many legs who calls you “bride” while the censor bars do their little pathetic job of “hiding” stuff. They don’t hide much, by the way. The censored bits feel like those cheap mosaic edits in old Japanese hentai, where your brain happily fills the gaps and makes it filthier. Combat is kind of basic, but the game keeps dropping little kinks in the middle of it, like a skill that clearly only exists so some tentacles have an excuse to grab you, or a “training” scene with the elder that pretends to be about power but is just an excuse to make Rascal whimper and kneel. And that elder? Absolute menace. He talks like a wise old sage, but every time he “helps” you get stronger, your clothes come off and someone ends up leaking something. There’s one moment where you’re supposed to be grieving, super dramatic, and the game just throws a futa demon in your face like “cheer up, kid, suck this.” It should break the mood, but the mood was already broken the second a femboy trap in frilly shorts called you “onii-chan” in a prison corridor.

What surprised me is how the romance between the two boys somehow stays sweet even when everything else goes off the rails. You’re getting railed by tentacles, seduced by monster girls with dripping tongues, teased by smug femboys with censored bulges you can clearly see the shape of, and still the game keeps reminding you that Rascal just wants to save his guy from Satan’s Prison and kiss him in peace. It’s almost annoying how earnest it gets, like “bro, I’m literally covered in slime right now, don’t talk about eternal love,” but that contrast makes the filthy parts hit harder. One minute you’re in town buying potions on autopilot, next minute there’s a scene in a barn with a shy trap character who pretends to be innocent until you check under the skirt and then suddenly you’re the one getting pushed against the wall. The pacing is a mess, the morality is non-existent, some scenes feel way too long and there’s one sound effect in a tentacle scene that honestly made me want to mute my speakers forever, but when the game goes full absurd horny anime, it kind of owns it. Best way to play it? Turn your brain volume to low, let every wrong dialogue choice happen, lose on purpose a few times to see what the monsters do to you, and don’t rush to save anyone. Satan’s Prison isn’t going anywhere, and those tentacles are way too motivated.

Konosuba: The Harem Adventures feels like someone took the original anime, spilled horny fanfic all over it, then decided, “yeah, this is fine” and clicked publish. You wake up as the usual unlucky dumbass hero in Axel, tossed into another world where monster girls want to kill you, then ride you, then maybe both at the same time. The game pretends to be about quests and turn based combat and all that, but everyone knows why your mouse is hovering over Aqua’s tits instead of the “attack” button. Half the time you’re joking with her about her useless goddess act, then the next scene she is on her knees, drool on her chin, eyes rolled back in perfect ahegao while you think, “yeah, this is exactly what she deserves.” The writing leans into the humiliation, the teasing, the whole “she’s divine but still choking on your dick” thing without blinking. It is not subtle. It is not trying to be.

Then there is Darkness, who looks like a walking BDSM fantasy and acts like someone switched her brain with a masochistic attack dog. The game really plays with that. You pick a “normal” romantic answer and she somehow twists it into “please degrade me more.” During combat she is supposed to be your tank, taking hits from monsters, but the game keeps cutting to little animations where she is basically cumming from pain, armor sliding off, ass taking up half the screen. It is funny at first, then hot, then slightly pathetic, which is also kind of hot if you are honest. And in town, when you go into the more sandbox parts, you can push her a bit further every time: a “training” session that starts with standard handjob and ends in anal with her begging you to hit her harder, while the scene keeps that goofy Konosuba humor. It never lets you forget this is a parody, but it also doesn’t shy away from being straight up filthy. Same with Megumin: she is obsessed with explosions, obviously, but here her climax is treated like a literal blast, with the build up in combat turning into sexual build up in her private events, including a scene where she has you pinned, riding you with this unhinged grin, moaning about “releasing it all at once” like she is talking about magic. The game knows exactly what it is doing.

Outside the main trio, the game broadens into pure harem chaos. There is the milf innkeeper who looks like she walked out of some cheap porn ad on the side of a pirate site, but her scenes are shockingly tender for a game that also gives you a succubus who basically turns you into a walking cum dispenser if you are not careful with your choices. The succubus events are surprisingly mechanical too, tied to your combat progress and “energy” in a way that can really screw your runs if you let her drain you dry in one of those animated footjobs or slow, teasing oral sessions where she pretends she is doing you a favor. There is light incest teasing from one of the new girls that made me roll my eyes, because it goes right to that line and dances on it longer than needed, but the game clearly knows its audience and doesn’t apologize. Some routes feel like a dating sim with actual romance, some like pure porn logic, and sometimes the same girl flips between genuine warmth and cartoonish ahegao in the span of one conversation. It can be whiplash. Still, the mix of teasing, exhibitionism in town events, and little scenes where the male protagonist is clearly still a virgin at heart trying to act like a harem king gives it this strange, almost honest undercurrent. He is not a noble hero, he is just a horny isekai loser who somehow ended surrounded by big tits, big asses, a few monster girls, and way too many chances to make the worst possible choice. Which, to be fair, is kind of the point.