Evil mage steals a rival’s body, grabs his fancy tower and all the arcane toys inside, then immediately gets cockblocked by three clueless apprentices banging on the front gate. That’s basically the setup, but the game leans hard into the fun side of being the bastard in charge. You’re not some shy virgin hero; you’re a smug asshole already sitting on the throne, trying to corrupt three walking disasters in robes and cleavage. One’s a big titty muscle girl who looks like she could bench the castle walls and your face at the same time, one’s a blonde with that “I read one spellbook and now I think I know everything” energy, and one’s a quieter brunette who you just know is hiding some kinky brainrot under that polite smile. All three of them worship the guy whose body you stole, so the whole thing is you pretending to be him while slowly twisting their faith, their morals, and yeah, their legs.

The writing doesn’t waste time on “oh no, is this wrong?” stuff. It dives straight into teasing, power games, and that nice slow burn where you keep pushing boundaries until suddenly you’re using magic to pin a knight girl against a stone wall and she’s moaning your stolen name like a prayer. One scene had me laughing because you’re in this grand hall, supposed to act like the wise archmage, and instead you’re trying not to stare at the blonde’s tits bouncing while she lectures you about “responsible magic usage”. Bro, she’s scolding the evil mage with a stolen body and doesn’t notice a thing. Peak comedy. Then five clicks later she’s kneeling between your legs, talking about “serving the realm” with a straight face while your cock is basically her new holy relic. That shift is where the game shines: choices look simple on screen, but suddenly they branch into “soft corruption” or straight “shut up and obey, whore” territory, depending how much of a bastard you feel like being that click.

What I liked most is how it keeps the domination fantasy playful instead of just screaming edge all the time. You can be cruel, yeah, but the humor keeps peeking through, like the demon girl who pops in acting like tech support from hell, giving you tips on how to break minds and backs in the same evening. There’s even a scene with an armored knight chick, all righteous and shiny, getting used as a toy in the tower dungeon, the kind of “I’ll never yield” speech while she’s literally riding you raw. Interracial stuff pops up without making a big fuss about it; it’s just part of the world, like “oh yeah, here’s a demon with purple skin and hips wide enough to block a doorway, obviously she wants to help you corrupt the apprentices”. Not everything is perfect; sometimes a line lands a bit cringe, like something you’d see in a horny Reddit thread, and a few transitions feel like the writer clicked “fast forward to sex” in their own brain. But then you get a moment where the muscle girl casually lifts you a little while kissing you against those old castle stones, and your evil mage is thrown off his own dominance for a second, and it feels weirdly hot and funny at once. You go from serious fantasy castle vibes to “haha, ripped spell mommy” in one scene. It’s messy, horny, sometimes clumsy, but that’s exactly why it works here.

You start as this kinda clueless guy who just wants some easy cash delivering pizza, and suddenly you’re knee deep in a beach resort that feels like it was designed by a horny god with zero HR rules. The whole thing plays like a goofy visual novel that keeps tripping over its own jokes, then somehow landing face first in some really filthy scenes. One second you’re checking a delivery address in a half-busted menu, next second the door opens and there’s a stacked blonde in a bikini top that can’t decide if it’s clothing or suggestion. The game doesn’t even pretend to be serious. You get into these dialogues where you try to sound professional while staring at gigantic tits that basically have their own gravity, and half your choices feel like: “Be polite” or “Accidentally flirt like a horny idiot.” And both usually lead to trouble, just different flavors of it.

What I liked is how they use the “pizza boy” thing as an excuse to throw you into all kinds of weird situations. Like, there’s this delivery to the green haired girl at the pool, and the scene starts normal, just small talk about the order, some dumb jokes about extra cheese, whatever. Then she stretches on the deck chair, her bikini bottom rides up, you get a close-up cg that is absolutely not subtle, and you suddenly notice this small dialogue branch that was easy to miss. If you pick it, she starts teasing you about tips. Not money tips. The tension ramps up quick. The writing is still trying to be funny, but the cg is already full hentai mode, uncensored, skin shining like she’s been soaked in sunscreen for an hour. I had that moment of “ok this is stupid” while at the same time scrolling back to check if there was a way to push the scene even further. Spoiler: there kinda is, but you need to be a bit of an asshole earlier with another girl at the beach bar, which I found by accident. Totally not replay-safe if you pretend to be a good guy all the time.

Then there is the scientist. She shows up like the game took a wrong turn out of Pornhub and fell into some cheap sci fi parody. Lab coat barely closed, tattoos poking from underneath, talking about “testing new code” in the resort system and acting like your dick is part of the experiment. There are bugged text boxes sometimes, stuff flickers, and instead of fixing it she sort of leans into it and starts breaking the fourth wall in this teasing way. She literally blames “code bugs” for why her top keeps disappearing in the cg gallery, like it is a glitch and not that the artist just wanted her naked in every variant. You get this optional scene where she asks you to deliver “special pizza” to her lab at night, and the whole route goes from light comedy to full hentai lab fantasy. Restraints, scanners, her sitting on your lap pretending she is calibrating something, and your choices change tiny details in the cg: glasses on or off, open coat, how rough it gets. It’s not super deep, but it felt more playful than most jam stuff I’ve seen.

The resort itself is full of beach clichés, in a good trashy way. Redhead lifeguard with a body that looks like it violates health and safety, fake wholesome smile, then you notice the way the camera angle keeps dropping to her chest when she “checks your pulse.” There’s a scene where she pretends you might be dehydrated and drags you to the shade. Absolutely no medical training in that scene, just wet lips, tan lines, and an excuse to slide her hand too low when she is “making sure your heart is fine.” The game lets you pick if you play along or try to act innocent, but both paths are horny, just with different banter. The humor is actually not terrible. It’s dumb, meme-ish, full of throwaway lines about late orders and bad mobile data, like someone wrote it while doomscrolling Twitter and watching hentai at the same time. My only real complaint is that sometimes it feels like the choices tease something big and then you just get the same cg with one line changed, but maybe that fits this whole lazy resort mood.

Some of the best bits are smaller things that almost feel like inside jokes for people who crawl adult VN sites too much. There’s a moment where a blonde customer says “don’t worry, I’m legal, this isn’t that kind of game” and then immediately asks you to help rub lotion into places the camera very clearly wants to focus on. Another time, a text popup bugs out and repeats three times, and instead of hiding it they let the scientist comment on how your “route flag is stuck” while her hand slowly moves offscreen on your body in the cg. Stuff like that makes it feel like everyone involved knew exactly what type of trashy, horny beach story they were making and just ran with it. It’s rough, sometimes clumsy, a bit all over the place, and the girls are drawn with that exaggerated hentai logic where every boob looks heavier than your whole torso. But when you are in the middle of a scene, watching sweat drip between giant tits while you’re still holding a pizza box in the corner of the frame, it kind of just clicks. You’re not here for perfect pacing. You’re here because a part-time job at a resort full of hot women and broken code is the exact porn plot your brain secretly wanted and never asked for out loud.

I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Office is quiet, Outlook is frozen again, so I alt-tabbed into this thing and suddenly my productivity went to hell. The game throws you into this “normal” married couple setup, except nothing stays normal for more than five clicks. They start as that typical cozy pair who probably has a joint Netflix account and matching coffee mugs, and then you poke a few dialogue options and boom, you’re pushing them straight into every filthy fantasy they were pretending they didn’t have. It’s not subtle. One moment you’re having this cute banter about daily life, next moment you’re choosing if the husband encourages his wife to wear that too-tight top to meet the neighbor or tells her not to… and obviously you click the bad option, because we all know why we’re here. The humor is actually decent, not that “haha so random” cringe, more like sarcastic couple jokes, horny and a bit mean, the kind that sounds like people who have actually been together for years. Sometimes it tries too hard to be funny, but at least it’s not talking to you like you’re a dumb teenager.

What really hooked me is how the wife’s personality shifts depending on what you push her into. You can keep her more shy and romantic, or slowly twist her into this hungry exhibitionist who gets wet just from being stared at, and the change feels earned because it comes from a hundred little choices. There was one scene where the husband “jokingly” dares her to flash in a parked car, and if you keep picking the bolder answers her breathing changes, the way she talks changes, and suddenly the joke’s not a joke anymore. If you go further, you end up in situations where she is flirting way too hard with a guy who should absolutely be off-limits, while the husband watches and pretends he is still in control. He isn’t. The game loves that line between “we are doing this together” and “she is slipping away into her own new kink world.” One route I picked had her drunk on attention from some smug asshole with perfect hair, and the husband is basically half cheering it on and half dying inside. That scene was hot and uncomfortable and I hated it and then replayed it to try an even worse choice. Also, her tits are huge in the nice useless way where a single button on her blouse is technically “clothing,” and the game knows exactly how to frame that, especially when you push her into tighter outfits. The corruption hits slow then hard, like that extra beer you really shouldn’t open during a “quick” lunch break.

Not every branch is gold. There is a path that tries to be all sweet and wholesome, and yeah, it’s cute for five minutes, then you’re just sitting there waiting for someone to get their clothes off properly. Some of the more hardcore options come a bit out of nowhere too, like you pick a slightly edgier choice and suddenly you’re knee-deep in a fetish scene that probably deserved two more steps of buildup. But at the same time, that messy feeling also kinda works for this story, because sex in long relationships is rarely clean and logical anyway. One run I had the wife turning into this bold, dirty talk machine, then a few scenes later she was shy again with a different guy and it felt like the script forgot what route I was on, which annoyed me more than it should. Also I still don’t like one of the blonde side characters; she talks like a TikTok comment section and I kept clicking through her lines just to get to the next bad decision for the main couple. Still, whenever I told myself “okay, last scene, then back to Excel,” I ended up chasing one more branch just to see how far the game would let me push this poor marriage before it snaps or mutates into something even hotter and more broken.