New condo, new title, and suddenly every horny problem in the whole building is your problem. That’s pretty much the vibe here. You’re not playing some heroic savior, you’re the poor bastard who got handed the trustee job in a place that looks normal at first, then every door you knock on turns into another “how the hell did I end up in this situation” moment. One floor you’re arguing about parking spaces with a stacked milf in a tight blouse who keeps leaning just a little too close, next you’re pretending you’re checking water pressure while actually staring at the shower through frosted glass, trying not to get caught with your dick already hard. The game really leans into that slow burn of “professional” talk that keeps sliding into filthy territory. One second you’re discussing condo fees, then she’s on her knees in the bedroom, lipstick smeared on your cock, asking if this counts as a “service discount.” It’s soft and romantic in that bullshit way where she’s blushing and shy right before she swallows every drop like she was training for it.

It’s fun how different the women feel just from how they talk to you. The blonde neighbor pretending she’s all pure and proper, always acting like this is just a formal meeting in her living room, but her shirt buttons never seem to stay closed, and those big tits are practically begging to fall out while she pours you tea. That moment where you just sit on her couch, listening to her complain about the previous trustee, and you’re not even touching yet, but you know she wants you to pin her over the armrest and pull her hair… that hits better than some porn sites I’ve got bookmarked in Chrome. Then there’s the redhead who doesn’t even bother hiding it. She’s the one who opens the door in a towel, “forgets” to tighten it, drops hints like “my shower is acting weird, can you come check it?” and then you’re suddenly pressed against the bathroom wall, water running, her mouth wrapped around you while she stares right up into your eyes like she’s daring you to cum down her throat. The brunette feels more like a slow romance route, texting you late at night on WhatsApp, sending half-safe pics, telling you about her shitty day, and then asking if you “really think she’s sexy” right before she lets you watch her undress with the lights low. Honestly the romance can feel cheesy sometimes, lines a bit too sweet, but then she straddles you and rides you like she hasn’t been touched in months, and the cheese just kind of works. I wish the game didn’t tease voyeur stuff so often without fully going full creepy neighbor energy, but it’s also kind of hot that you’re always on the edge of being caught peeking from the corridor or watching a window reflection while pretending you’re just checking the building lights. You bounce between dating sim choices, checking if you said the right thing three scenes ago, and those payoff moments where she finally drops the act and you get her lips around your cock, mascara streaked, calling you “trustee” like it’s some dirty title. It’s messy, a bit corny, sometimes too romantic for how filthy the scenes are, and that’s exactly why it sticks in your head long after you close the browser tab.

Evil mage steals a rival’s body, grabs his fancy tower and all the arcane toys inside, then immediately gets cockblocked by three clueless apprentices banging on the front gate. That’s basically the setup, but the game leans hard into the fun side of being the bastard in charge. You’re not some shy virgin hero; you’re a smug asshole already sitting on the throne, trying to corrupt three walking disasters in robes and cleavage. One’s a big titty muscle girl who looks like she could bench the castle walls and your face at the same time, one’s a blonde with that “I read one spellbook and now I think I know everything” energy, and one’s a quieter brunette who you just know is hiding some kinky brainrot under that polite smile. All three of them worship the guy whose body you stole, so the whole thing is you pretending to be him while slowly twisting their faith, their morals, and yeah, their legs.

The writing doesn’t waste time on “oh no, is this wrong?” stuff. It dives straight into teasing, power games, and that nice slow burn where you keep pushing boundaries until suddenly you’re using magic to pin a knight girl against a stone wall and she’s moaning your stolen name like a prayer. One scene had me laughing because you’re in this grand hall, supposed to act like the wise archmage, and instead you’re trying not to stare at the blonde’s tits bouncing while she lectures you about “responsible magic usage”. Bro, she’s scolding the evil mage with a stolen body and doesn’t notice a thing. Peak comedy. Then five clicks later she’s kneeling between your legs, talking about “serving the realm” with a straight face while your cock is basically her new holy relic. That shift is where the game shines: choices look simple on screen, but suddenly they branch into “soft corruption” or straight “shut up and obey, whore” territory, depending how much of a bastard you feel like being that click.

What I liked most is how it keeps the domination fantasy playful instead of just screaming edge all the time. You can be cruel, yeah, but the humor keeps peeking through, like the demon girl who pops in acting like tech support from hell, giving you tips on how to break minds and backs in the same evening. There’s even a scene with an armored knight chick, all righteous and shiny, getting used as a toy in the tower dungeon, the kind of “I’ll never yield” speech while she’s literally riding you raw. Interracial stuff pops up without making a big fuss about it; it’s just part of the world, like “oh yeah, here’s a demon with purple skin and hips wide enough to block a doorway, obviously she wants to help you corrupt the apprentices”. Not everything is perfect; sometimes a line lands a bit cringe, like something you’d see in a horny Reddit thread, and a few transitions feel like the writer clicked “fast forward to sex” in their own brain. But then you get a moment where the muscle girl casually lifts you a little while kissing you against those old castle stones, and your evil mage is thrown off his own dominance for a second, and it feels weirdly hot and funny at once. You go from serious fantasy castle vibes to “haha, ripped spell mommy” in one scene. It’s messy, horny, sometimes clumsy, but that’s exactly why it works here.

You start as this kinda clueless guy who just wants some easy cash delivering pizza, and suddenly you’re knee deep in a beach resort that feels like it was designed by a horny god with zero HR rules. The whole thing plays like a goofy visual novel that keeps tripping over its own jokes, then somehow landing face first in some really filthy scenes. One second you’re checking a delivery address in a half-busted menu, next second the door opens and there’s a stacked blonde in a bikini top that can’t decide if it’s clothing or suggestion. The game doesn’t even pretend to be serious. You get into these dialogues where you try to sound professional while staring at gigantic tits that basically have their own gravity, and half your choices feel like: “Be polite” or “Accidentally flirt like a horny idiot.” And both usually lead to trouble, just different flavors of it.

What I liked is how they use the “pizza boy” thing as an excuse to throw you into all kinds of weird situations. Like, there’s this delivery to the green haired girl at the pool, and the scene starts normal, just small talk about the order, some dumb jokes about extra cheese, whatever. Then she stretches on the deck chair, her bikini bottom rides up, you get a close-up cg that is absolutely not subtle, and you suddenly notice this small dialogue branch that was easy to miss. If you pick it, she starts teasing you about tips. Not money tips. The tension ramps up quick. The writing is still trying to be funny, but the cg is already full hentai mode, uncensored, skin shining like she’s been soaked in sunscreen for an hour. I had that moment of “ok this is stupid” while at the same time scrolling back to check if there was a way to push the scene even further. Spoiler: there kinda is, but you need to be a bit of an asshole earlier with another girl at the beach bar, which I found by accident. Totally not replay-safe if you pretend to be a good guy all the time.

Then there is the scientist. She shows up like the game took a wrong turn out of Pornhub and fell into some cheap sci fi parody. Lab coat barely closed, tattoos poking from underneath, talking about “testing new code” in the resort system and acting like your dick is part of the experiment. There are bugged text boxes sometimes, stuff flickers, and instead of fixing it she sort of leans into it and starts breaking the fourth wall in this teasing way. She literally blames “code bugs” for why her top keeps disappearing in the cg gallery, like it is a glitch and not that the artist just wanted her naked in every variant. You get this optional scene where she asks you to deliver “special pizza” to her lab at night, and the whole route goes from light comedy to full hentai lab fantasy. Restraints, scanners, her sitting on your lap pretending she is calibrating something, and your choices change tiny details in the cg: glasses on or off, open coat, how rough it gets. It’s not super deep, but it felt more playful than most jam stuff I’ve seen.

The resort itself is full of beach clichés, in a good trashy way. Redhead lifeguard with a body that looks like it violates health and safety, fake wholesome smile, then you notice the way the camera angle keeps dropping to her chest when she “checks your pulse.” There’s a scene where she pretends you might be dehydrated and drags you to the shade. Absolutely no medical training in that scene, just wet lips, tan lines, and an excuse to slide her hand too low when she is “making sure your heart is fine.” The game lets you pick if you play along or try to act innocent, but both paths are horny, just with different banter. The humor is actually not terrible. It’s dumb, meme-ish, full of throwaway lines about late orders and bad mobile data, like someone wrote it while doomscrolling Twitter and watching hentai at the same time. My only real complaint is that sometimes it feels like the choices tease something big and then you just get the same cg with one line changed, but maybe that fits this whole lazy resort mood.

Some of the best bits are smaller things that almost feel like inside jokes for people who crawl adult VN sites too much. There’s a moment where a blonde customer says “don’t worry, I’m legal, this isn’t that kind of game” and then immediately asks you to help rub lotion into places the camera very clearly wants to focus on. Another time, a text popup bugs out and repeats three times, and instead of hiding it they let the scientist comment on how your “route flag is stuck” while her hand slowly moves offscreen on your body in the cg. Stuff like that makes it feel like everyone involved knew exactly what type of trashy, horny beach story they were making and just ran with it. It’s rough, sometimes clumsy, a bit all over the place, and the girls are drawn with that exaggerated hentai logic where every boob looks heavier than your whole torso. But when you are in the middle of a scene, watching sweat drip between giant tits while you’re still holding a pizza box in the corner of the frame, it kind of just clicks. You’re not here for perfect pacing. You’re here because a part-time job at a resort full of hot women and broken code is the exact porn plot your brain secretly wanted and never asked for out loud.

I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?