Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

Thalmeris looks calm from far away, like those fantasy wallpapers you keep on your phone and never really think about. But inside this world everything is broken by old faith, blood and really fucked up desire. You start as this simple farm boy, soft life, fields, routine, the kind of guy that thinks destiny is just a pretty word in a prayer. Then in one ugly, rushed moment the whole thing is ripped away. Fire, screaming, metal on flesh, your father on his knees and some shadow figure cutting him down like he was nothing. And the person you care about most gets dragged off in chains while you are too weak to stop it. Game never lets you forget that you were useless there. It hits hard, more than I expected from a porn game on my phone if I am honest.

After that the story turns into this long walk through a world still shaking after holy war. Religion here is not just flavor, it is everywhere like dust. Half the people you meet quote some old scripture before they stab you. Temples still smell of incense and burned bodies. Knights pray right before they split someone wide open and the blood sprays on the icons. I liked how faith and lust are always touching each other. You see nuns with soft lips and heavy tits whispering about purity then ten minutes later one is on her knees in a ruined chapel, dress rolled up, back arched, moaning your name like a hymn while the candlelight shakes on her ass. It feels dirty in that special way where you know this is wrong but also exactly where you are supposed to be. Fate is a whore here and she is very affectionate.

The teasing is strong in this game, almost mean sometimes. You travel with this barbarian woman, tall and thick, big tits that never quite stay inside the leather, scars on her thighs that make you want to trace them with your tongue. She keeps calling you “farmboy” like an insult, flexing her arms, grabbing your shoulder a bit too tight. There is this one scene at a campfire, she drinks, laughs, stands up to stretch and her top slips just enough that you see the edge of her nipple in the light. She notices that you look and just smirks, sits down again and absolutely refuses to move things further that night. I spent the next battle totally distracted, failing a dodge because I was still thinking about that tiny flicker of pink. Stupid, but also very real.

Some of the best stuff happens in public. There is a city where old temples were turned into markets. You can flirt with this princess in disguise, trying to escape her own bloodline. She is proud, stubborn, always telling you that destiny is bullshit. You sneak with her through crowds, hiding from soldiers, and at one point she pulls you behind a broken statue of some forgotten god. People are walking right on the other side, priests chanting, merchants yelling. She grabs your hand and presses it between her legs through the dress and she is already wet, breathing fast, teeth on your neck. She keeps whispering “we should not, we should not” but her hips push into your fingers. It is not even full sex, just rough grinding and desperate kissing while you both try not to make noise. Exhibition vibe is crazy there, the fear of being seen gives everything this electric taste. Honestly, that short half-clothed scene turned me on more than some later full naked ones.

The game loves big tits and big asses, no lie. Every time you think they reached max size, a new character shows up and your brain says “ok, physics is cancelled now.” There is a devilish woman you meet in a ruin under a collapsed church, red eyes, slow smile, curves that look like someone cheated when they sculpted her. She plays with you a lot. She will appear in dreams, sit naked on your lap, pressing her huge tits against your chest, whispering about your “darkest wishes,” but then ask you to make choices that hurt people you care about. Sometimes when you pick the selfish option, you get this intense sex scene with her, claws on your back, her ass bouncing as she rides you, blood on the altar behind. When you try to be good, she just laughs and disappears, leaving you alone and hard. I hated her and also tried to see her every time.

What surprised me is how your decisions really twist the path. I took one route where I leaned into the whole chosen-by-fate thing, accepted the weird visions, followed the religious signs. Ended with a kind of fucked up holy warrior vibe, girls kneeling to pray with me then crawling onto my cock like it is another altar. In another run I played as this bitter cynic, no god, no plan, just survival. Different people slept with me, some romances never started, some turned cold. There was one ending where the princess I loved stood in front of a burning temple, crown on her head, looking at me like a stranger. No sex, just distance. It hurt more than when some enemies cut me open earlier with that graphic detail like ribs, torn flesh, organs almost spilling. Weird how the game can show guts hanging out one moment and then later make your heart feel more empty than your balls after a long scene. Destiny feels heavy here, but still, every choice you touch with your own dirty hands.

You’re playing this older, tired professor who honestly just wants a quiet life, some coffee, maybe grading in peace, and instead ends up in a weird mix of horny sitcom and horny fantasy drama. It starts very normal: you’re at the university, classes, students, you know the drill. Then your best friend’s daughter arrives, moves into your place, and that’s when everything goes sideways in the fun way. She’s not just some cardboard cutout student either; she actually reacts when you act like a creep, or when you try to be a gentleman, or when you are clearly looking at her tits for too long in the kitchen. A lot of scenes are basically you pretending to focus on “her education” while your eyes are obviously stuck on her big ass in those ridiculous shorts. The game knows exactly what it’s doing with that camera. And then, right when you think it’s only going to be about her, it starts throwing monster girls and strange magic bullshit into your normal professor routine, like it’s nothing. One day you’re a guy explaining homework, next day you’re dealing with a horny creature girl who wants your dick because of some “family legacy” curse or prophecy or whatever that even the game kind of shrugs at and goes “yeah, sure, fuck it, let’s go.”

Sex-wise, it’s not shy at all. There’s regular vaginal sex when you play it safe, a lot of oral where girls take their time licking you like they’re testing a popsicle flavor, handjobs that feel like a slow tease before the “real” thing, but the game treats those as full scenes, not throwaway. Anal and pegging are there and not just as a one-time joke. You get this moment where a girl, with a very cocky smirk, pulls out a strap and basically tells the big brave male professor to kneel, and it actually fits the story because you’ve been acting all dominant before, so the role flip hits harder. If you like being in charge, there are scenes where you pin a futa/trans character down and they’re blushing hard, trying to act tough while you control the pace, but you can also let them take you, and suddenly you’re the one gripping the sheets while they pound you and whisper shit in your ear. The game is totally fine mixing male domination and female domination in the same route, so your “romance” doesn’t get stuck in one dynamic. There are furry and monster girl encounters where you’re half freaked and half turned on, especially when a big titted cat-like girl is on top of you, tail flicking, and the animation focuses on her hips grinding your cock slowly like she’s enjoying your confusion. Group sex shows up when the plot decides subtlety is overrated, and you have this one scene where you’re basically the center of a messy pile, some mouths on your cock, someone riding your face, someone else watching from the doorway, touching themselves, full voyeur vibe. The 3D animated stuff makes every thrust and bounce pretty explicit, especially with big tits wobbling and asses clapping while your character is clearly not thinking about lectures anymore. There’s even this “vanilla” mode if you want to pretend you’re normal, but honestly it feels like putting a condom on your soul.

Game feels like someone put Mass Effect on a tiny phone screen, stripped out all the self-serious drama, and said “okay, now everyone just wants to fuck the aliens”. And honestly, it kind of works. You’re the captain on a small ship, nothing fancy, and your entire “save the human race” thing keeps getting derailed because the crew has huge tits, weird skin colors, tentacle hair, and zero sense of personal space. One moment you’re checking the galaxy map, next moment Liara lookalike has you pinned to the chair, blowing you while you try to pretend you’re still talking tactics. The vibe is chill though. There’s this lo-fi-ish background loop on some screens, almost like those YouTube “beats to smash blue alien girl to” playlists. I had it running on my phone during commute and almost forgot I was playing porn game until the first animated titfuck popped up and I had to angle the screen like a criminal.

The parody stuff is obvious if you ever touched Mass Effect. There’s the quarian-style girl in her suit, there’s the blue asari-type with psychic bullshit, plus some proper monster girl nonsense. They lean hard into big tits, like gravity is illegal. One scene with the quarian clone hit me more than it should: you’re checking her suit systems, supposedly fixing a problem, and the dialogue just slowly turns horny until your hand “accidentally” slides over her chest. The game doesn’t even pretend it’s a misunderstanding. She shivers, you push it, and next thing you’re groping her through the suit while she tries to keep her voice steady on comms. After that, when she finally opens her helmet for oral, they actually did a nice detail with her being shy and still going full throat anyway. I liked that she spits on your cock once, looks annoyed at herself for losing control, then just gives up and jams it back in. There’s also group sex scenes later where the blue girl and the quarian basically fight over who gets the creampie, and at one point they just settle on multiple penetration with tentacle toys because the captain can’t be in three holes at the same time. Basic math.

What surprised me: the sandbox bits aren’t just fake. There are simple battles and missions, yeah, but you really are jogging around the ship, poking at rooms, talking to girls in different moods. One time I failed a tiny combat encounter, and the punishment was basically a delayed H-scene where the alien monster pins the captain, uses him like a toy, and the crew finds him later half naked and exhausted. It felt more funny than dark, kind of like “okay, you sucked at combat, now you suck dick”. The cheat menu is there, just hiding like a dirty secret, and I 100% abused it to unlock a group scene where two aliens share your cock, one riding you raw while the other sits on your face, and when you finally cum, it splashes over blue skin and they argue about who deserved the load. I like the animated loops, even if sometimes the timing is a bit weird and the thrust speed doesn’t match the sound. That bothered me way more than it should and I kept staring at it instead of the actual pussy. Still, between the casual little RPG elements, space map, groping options, and all the alien sex, it somehow feels like a horny fan’s fever dream that escaped from someone’s phone and became a real game. It’s messy, but in a nice “yeah, I made this in my room while listening to chill beats” kind of way.