You’re flipping burgers in some sad McDonald’s, trying not to think about your life choices, and suddenly the world just glitches. Instead of the fryer you’re staring at Voldemort’s noseless mug while still smelling like burned oil. He basically speedruns the job interview: no contract, no payroll, just “congrats, you’re a Hogwarts professor now, go corrupt Hermione or die.” That’s the vibe. One second you’re asking “with or without pickles,” next second you’re being told to turn the golden girl of Hogwarts into a filthy bad witch who’d probably hex your dick off and then step on it in heels. And it somehow works. The game just tosses you into Hogwarts like you slipped in through a fanfic side door, but now you’ve got powers and authority and absolutely no HR department watching you. You walk around this parody Hogwarts, talk shit, try not to piss off the Dark Lord, and slowly poke at Hermione’s “perfect girl” shell until it cracks and she starts looking at you like homework she wants to do on her knees.

Hermione here is not the shy bookworm people pretend she is. She starts strict, naggy, all “rules, rules, rules,” but you can see the dev really enjoys turning her into a problem. Clothes get shorter, poses get bolder, she starts throwing those “this is wrong” lines while obviously loving every second. It’s that slow corruption style where your choices and little events stack up. You tease her in class, you nudge her into “practical lessons,” you catch her after hours when the halls are empty and the only magic that matters is making her legs shake. Some of the scenes get wild, especially once she starts using magic while you’re already inside her. Stuff floats, lights flicker, she struggles between being the good little prefect and the girl whose tits are basically falling out of her uniform. And yeah, they made sure she is… very stacked. Ass too. This is the type of Hermione who could smother the entire Gryffindor common room just by sitting down. There’s one moment where she’s bent over a desk “studying” and honestly you forget there’s a world outside the screen. Then suddenly Voldemort checks in and you remember you’re technically supposed to be doing evil, not just horny.

Side note, Bellatrix here completely steals scenes she’s in. She shows up as your twisted assistant, like some goth HR rep from hell whose only job is helping you ruin Hermione while laughing in your face. Half the time she’s mocking you, half the time she’s lowkey ready to ride you till your spine folds, and you never fully know which one you’re getting. She offers “advice” that might help you or might screw your mission and it’s kinda funny how you still click it like an idiot. There’s this bit where she’s explaining how to break Hermione’s resistance and she’s doing it while basically pressing her huge tits into you, like girl, how am I supposed to listen to your evil lecture when your cleavage looks like a death trap I want to fall into. And then the game just casually throws Arcueid in there like it’s the most normal crossover in the world. McDonald’s wage slave turned Hogwarts professor trying to corrupt Hermione with Bellatrix coaching him, and suddenly the blonde chaos vampire girl pops up in this Harry Potter parody like “sup, I’m here now.” It’s stupid, but in the fun way, like a meme that went on too long and became art by accident. The whole thing feels a bit scuffed, a bit random, a lot horny, and somehow that mix of big tits, big asses, magic tricks and dark humor just keeps your hand on the mouse when you said you’d close it after “one more scene.”

New Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher walks into Hogwarts and nobody is ready for what you actually want to “teach”. The school looks normal on the surface, the usual house rivalry, flying brooms, dumb rules about curfew and behavior. But under that, you get this slow, dirty slide where the girls start breaking rules just to get sent to your office. It begins pretty soft, like a regular school sim with a bit of flirting. Then at some point you realize you are basically running your own private corruption project inside Hogwarts and nobody is stopping you. It feels wrong in exactly the way people come to these sites for, and the game knows that very well.

The first time you drag a student into your office for “punishment”, the tone shifts hard. There is this click, when the button goes from normal teacher choice to “bend over my desk” and you just know the story is not going back to innocent territory. Spanking is not just slapped on as a fetish, it actually becomes a language in the game. Ginny acting all fiery and proud until you make her count every hit. Hermione coming in full of rules and books, convinced she can talk her way out, then realizing that every answer that annoys you just means more hits across her ass. That moment when you see her flinch, then slowly start to breathe heavier, and the game lets you push that line from discipline into something she is clearly not supposed to enjoy. It almost feels goofy at times, like some fanfic that went too far after midnight, but then one little text line lands and it suddenly turns really hot again. I hated that I liked it, and honestly I loved that I hated it.

Nothing in the game is really polished. Menus are a bit clunky, pacing sometimes weird, and one event made me click back and forth like an idiot in Chrome because I thought I broke it. But the rough edges sort of make it feel like some forbidden project hidden on a random hard drive, not a shiny Steam thing. One moment you are trying to raise affection, next moment you are trading their dignity for house points like it is the most normal thing in the world. Romance is there too, in this twisted way, especially with Hermione. She does not just flip from pure to slut in one scene; you grind her down slowly, scene by scene, choice by choice, until she starts asking what kind of “extra lessons” you want. Then Bellatrix shows up with her crazy energy and the whole mood shifts again, like the corruption from the school leaks out into something darker and more dangerous. It is messy, horny, unfair, sometimes surprisingly sweet, sometimes just straight up cruel. The story keeps dangling that idea that you are the responsible adult here, while handing you every tool to be anything but.

Quiet Hogwarts, snow outside, fire crackling, and you’re not sneaking around under an invisibility cloak for once. You’re just… stuck in the library with Hermione over Christmas, pretending to study while both of you are clearly thinking about anything but homework. The game drops you right into an already serious relationship with her, which I liked a lot more than the usual “stranger meets witch, dick out immediately” vibe. She already knows your habits, calls you out on your bullshit, and still blushes when you lean in too close. It feels like you’re reading fanfic that finally stopped being shy and grew some balls. One moment she’s correcting your notes, next moment she’s pressing that stupidly tight sweater against your arm and the conversation just quietly shifts from “Ancient Runes” to “how wet can I get from you whispering in my ear.” No big explosion, just a slow slip from wholesome to filthy. Harry would lose his mind if he saw half of it, which makes it even better.

The art is this AI-touched 2D style that sometimes looks perfect and then in the very next scene Hermione’s hair decides gravity is optional and her hand is doing something weird in the background. Her ass, though, holy shit. Whoever tuned the prompts for that deserves a medal. Every time she leans over a desk or sits on your lap, it’s like the whole screen is just curves and stockings. Her tits are big, soft-looking, but not stupid balloon size, and the game is not shy about putting your face between them. One scene had her trying to keep reading while you kiss down her neck, and the way her expression flickers between “must focus” and “please just fuck me on this chair already” actually felt way more intimate than the later full-on oral scene. That one is pretty detailed too, with her on her knees between your legs, hair a mess, hand around your shaft while she looks up for approval like she secretly loves being a little slut just for you, but the build up is what sells it. Sometimes the text goes a bit too purple, then suddenly swings back to very blunt “she wraps her lips around your cock” and it feels like the writer got horny and forgot about style. Honestly, relatable.

What surprised me was Luna showing up. She kind of drifts into the story like she wandered out of the wrong book, talking in that spaced-out way, and the whole mood shifts. Not exactly a love triangle, more like she gently pokes at your bond with Hermione, asking these weirdly sharp questions while smiling like she knows way more than she says. There’s this scene where she finds you and Hermione in a quiet corridor after you two clearly just finished fucking, Hermione’s hair wrecked, your shirt half open, and Luna just tilts her head and says something like, “Research went well, I see.” No judgment, just curious. Depending on the choices, you can lean into that tension or keep it sweet, and I’m still not sure which way I liked more, because Hermione getting possessive is hot as hell, but Luna’s dreamy curiosity hits a different nerve. The branching is there, not huge, but enough that I actually reloaded a couple times on my phone between Telegram messages, trying different answers. There’s romance, there’s proper vaginal fucking on a library table that really should not be allowed, there’s messy, needy oral under a blanket while snow falls outside the window, and somewhere in the middle of all that smut you realise you actually care about these two idiots and their little holiday bubble. It’s cozy, horny, occasionally janky, and honestly I wouldn’t change that. Let it stay a bit messy. Feels more like you caught them in a real, dirty Christmas week instead of some perfect fantasy postcard.

This thing feels like some horny fanfic that escaped from AO3 and learned how to click on stuff. You start as this regular wizard guy in Hogwarts, nothing “chosen one” about him, more like the dude who sits in the back row and pretends to read, but his brain is just full of tits. The plot pretends it cares about classes and house points and all that, but let’s be honest, nobody is here for Transfiguration homework. It’s all about poking around the castle, getting into the girls’ routines, figuring out when Hermione is alone in the library, when Ginny sneaks off from the common room, when Tonks is bored enough to do something dumb and hot. The whole thing has this messy, half-finished feeling, like the devs were too busy being horny to polish the edges, and that actually kind of works. You click around, do some basic choices, talk to the girls, and slowly the game lets conversations turn from “what do you think about Quidditch” to “why are you looking at my chest, you perv?” and then further. It doesn’t rush; it just kind of slides there. I like that. I hate when porn games scream in your face from the first line.

Hermione is probably the one that will hook most people. She starts off all strict, nose in a book, giving you that disappointed prefect stare that makes you feel like you cheated on an exam you never took. Then you catch this small scene where she thinks nobody is watching and she is in a quiet corner with her hand under her skirt, pretending she is only fixing her stockings. That moment actually surprised me. No loud music, no big text, just a short loop and her biting her lip, trying not to moan. My English is not perfect, but even I got all the little hints in her dialogue when she starts asking you about “theoretical arousal responses” and “research” and you know she is just searching for an excuse to get your cock out. At the same time, the game kind of ruins it sometimes with jokes that feel like they were written on Discord while drunk. One scene starts hot, she is scolding you for peeking, and two lines later someone cracks a dumb meme reference that pulled me out of it. It is small, but it annoyed me, and I kept thinking about it way longer than needed. Then I forgot, honestly, because the next scene had her on her knees and my brain turned off.

Tonks is the opposite vibe. She is chaos. She feels like that older friend who once tells you “don’t be a creep” and then ten minutes later dares you to grab her ass “for science.” Her shapeshifting is not abused like I feared. It’s more teasing than full-on body horror porn. One time she changes her hair color while grinding on your lap, asking which version of her you like better, then gets fake offended when you pick the wrong one. Another time she jokes about taking Hermione’s face for you, then says it would be “too easy” and instead just grows her tits to Fleur size while giving a sloppy handjob behind a statue. The scene with her in the empty corridor, when she catches you sneaking after curfew and presses you against the wall, whispering how she could turn into your strict professor and punish you, but chooses to play as “naughty big sister” instead, that one stayed in my brain. There is something very simple and pure about it, even with her talking about stroking your cock under your robes and leaving you dripping. And then, the game suddenly makes a dumb pun with her name and I wanted to throw my mouse. Still pressed next.

Ginny is written a bit like she is trying to be tough but still shy. Some people will love that. For me it was hit and miss. One scene where she is practicing broom tricks alone and gets all flustered when you compliment how her ass looks from below, that was nice. She pretends to be angry, throws a quaffle at you, then later “accidentally” drops her towel when you end up in the locker room with her. The teasing is slow, like she is discovering that she likes being looked at. There is this moment when she climbs on top of you in the common room sofa, under a blanket, and moves her hips over your lap while pretending she is just trying to get “comfortable,” whispering that everyone is asleep. That felt real in a dumb, teenage way. She keeps biting her lip, asking if it feels good through the cloth, and your character is barely holding it together. Then, for no reason, the UI bugged for me, the text box flickered, and I got irrationally pissed. I reset the browser tab and forgot where in the scene I was. It never happened again but I still think about that one flicker. Stupid.

Narcissa though, she is the one that doesn’t really fit the school vibe, and that’s exactly why she works. She is cold, rich, older, and looks at you like you are dirt and also maybe her next toy. She is not all lovey or shy, she is control. The first time you end up alone with her, she is just sipping something expensive and making comments about how “boys your age are so easy to train.” She never even touches you at first, just makes you kneel and describe what you want to do to her body in detail, while she adjusts the front of her dress so you can see the outline of her tits. One of the better scenes is when she lets you masturbate for her, but forbids you from cumming until she finishes talking about “proper pure-blood etiquette.” You are there, hand moving under your robes, stomach tight, and she keeps pretending she doesn’t notice, then gives you one permission sentence and you basically explode in a few words. It’s rough and kind of humiliating and still weirdly vanilla, since it is just you, your hand, and her voice. I liked that they did not instantly go into whips or whatever. Just words and control.

Fleur… honestly I expected more. She is hot, like obviously, with that veela thing going. There is this cute bit where she acts super confident around everyone, then in private is actually a little insecure about how people only see her as a walking sex charm. There is a nice quiet scene with her at the lake, when she complains about idiots staring at her chest all day while the camera is, of course, staring at her chest. The contradiction felt very human. Later she sort of uses that veela aura on you while pretending she doesn’t, asking you to “help her practice her English.” The “practice” mostly looks like your character trying not to stare at her cleavage while she leans over and “accidentally” brushes her tits against your arm again and again, until you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom. That scene leads to a quick masturbation bit that ends way too fast. She deserved a longer build up, more slow burn, more kissing and less straight to wank. They probably will not change it, which sucks, but whatever.

For a “vanilla” lover like me, this game actually stays mostly in that safe, soft, handjob-blowjob-titjob zone. No crazy shit, no monsters, nobody is getting bound or carved up or anything. Just a lot of teasing, a lot of heavy breathing, and a lot of you jerking off in empty rooms while thinking about which witch made you the hardest that day. It feels clumsy sometimes, like a fanfic draft with horny energy but not always perfect pacing. Some dialogue reads like it was pasted from Twitter, some scenes could use more time, and I kept getting annoyed that the text sometimes moves too fast to really enjoy the little expressions. But then Hermione blushes, Tonks smirks, Ginny bites her lip, Narcissa crosses her legs just so, and my whole “purist, I prefer soft romance” brain goes quiet because, yeah, I still clicked on every filthy option they gave me.