Apartment looks normal in the afternoon. Cheap rent, cracked wall, neighbor’s TV bleeding through the concrete, the usual city trash. Then the lights twitch once, your Spotify glitches, and suddenly you’ve got two naked ghosts in your living room arguing over who gets to sit on your lap first. The game just throws that at you, like, “yeah, this is fine.” They’re not the “booo I will kill you” type either. More like “I will ride your face and then maybe cry about my tragic past later.” You move back to your hometown thinking about CVs and boring job hunt hell, and instead you’re juggling spectral titties the size of your head and trying to remember which dialogue option raises which hidden stat. Honestly feels like Excel, but horny.

The daily loop is weirdly chill and horny at same time. You wake up, check your messages, maybe go out for a side gig to get some money, then come back to this cursed apartment where the real grind starts. One ghost leans into the shy, soft thing, boobs pressed against your back when you cook, acting like she “doesn’t know what a handjob is” while obviously knowing exactly how to milk your cock slow enough to make you beg. The other one? Gremlin energy. She floats upside down, skirt hanging, ass in your face, making fun of you for blushing while she wraps her toes around you and starts a footjob on the cheap sofa like it’s just another Tuesday. I had a moment where she literally popped through the wall while I was trying to sleep, sat on my chest, pinning me, and whispered in my ear that if I didn’t touch her she’d “haunt my balls.” That scene escalated into sloppy oral so fast I forgot I was supposed to be scared. The game calls itself horror, and yeah, some of the midnight events actually hit that creepy “why is the hallway longer than before” vibe, but then you’re groping a ghost’s huge tits in a dark bathroom while the mirror reflects nothing but your own hands. Honestly I got more scared of missing a route flag than of any jump scare.

The messy part is the sandbox structure. You kind of wander between work, random paranormal events, and slow unlocking of their “memories.” Each ghost has scenes gated behind affection, lust, and some mysterious value I still don’t fully get because I forgot to track one variable on my notes and now my spreadsheet looks like a crime board. One night you get a tender blowjob where she’s on her knees, drool running down your shaft while she tries to keep eye contact like it’s important for her soul or something, and the next night the same girl phases through the floor, grabs your dick from below the bed, and the game just calls it a “playful surprise.” I loved that. Actually, no, it annoyed me, because I could not figure out what time slot combo triggered it again. There is a tiny spirit thing that acts like a horny tutorial and lore dump, floating around telling you where to poke the curse, but half the time I ignored it and still got scenes to trigger, so I’m not even sure if it matters. Some routes feel polished, with multi-stage events, like the progression from clumsy handjob on the couch to her confidently riding you, tits bouncing so hard they clip through your view and you kind of forget it’s 2D, and other times you just get a short tease and nothing after. I kept waiting for more intense paranormal horror in the corridors, then got distracted because the busty ghost bent over the kitchen table and asked if you wanted to “test how solid her ass feels from behind.” So yeah. This apartment is a mess, the pacing is janky, the boobs are ridiculous, and I’m still counting flags like a nerd while getting sucked off by a dead girl who moans your name like you’re the only thing keeping her in this world.

Damn, I was expecting some polished AAI production but got this weird fever dream instead. The whole premise sounds like someone threw every popular waifu into a blender with vacation vibes - you got Hinata lounging by pools, Tsunade doing... well, Tsunade things, and somehow Makima ended up serving cocktails? The art's all over the place too, some CG looks decent while others feel rushed, but honestly that's part of the charm. You're this resort worker trying to bang basically every anime girl who ever made you question your life choices during puberty.

What gets me is how they just dumped everyone together without caring about continuity. Bulma's chatting with Nami about... resort management I guess? While Yor's doing her assassin thing but in a bikini. The dialogue ranges from surprisingly sweet romance attempts to straight-up "let's fuck behind the tiki bar" energy. Some scenes with Mitsuri actually made me feel things before immediately cutting to Nobara being aggressive as hell - gave me whiplash but not complaining. The sandbox elements let you wander around hitting on whoever, though the interaction system feels clunky. Sometimes clicking on Yoruichi just makes her repeat the same flirty line three times.

The sex scenes vary wildly - some are genuinely hot with decent buildup, others feel like they were animated by someone who learned anatomy from hentai exclusively. Shinobu's route surprised me with actual character development before the inevitable creampie finale. Meanwhile Makima's just... being Makima but horny, which works I guess? The whole thing feels unfinished in places, dialogue cuts off mid-sentence sometimes, but there's enough content to keep you busy. Just don't expect AAA polish when you're getting your rocks off to seeing Momo in situations that'd make her classmates blush.

Tiny northern village, cold air, warm mouths. That’s the vibe here. You play this city-trained chef who drops into a place that looks quiet from outside, but every person you meet is either horny, weird, or both. The “friend’s restaurant” is basically your hub of chaos. You start chopping onions and two minutes later somebody’s hand is around your cock under the prep table while you’re trying not to burn the sauce. It’s got that small-town feeling where everyone knows everyone, and everyone wants to know what’s in your pants. Half the time you’re cooking, half the time you’re wondering how the hell this tiny village ended up with so many hot moms, pushy coworkers and straight up monster babes walking around like that’s normal.

The restaurant is your excuse to bump into all of them. Milf regular who pretends she only comes for the soup, but keeps “forgetting” her panties. Coworker that gives you shit about your knife skills while very calmly pressing her foot into your crotch behind the bar, like that’s part of the job. There’s a monster girl from the edge of the village who shows up after dark, hood on, wants something “rare” and ends up with your dick in her mouth under the table while you pray nobody walks in. Scenes don’t just pop out of nowhere, they grow out of these little moments: wiping a counter together, joking about some stupid order, then suddenly she’s got you pinned against the fridge with her knee between your legs and this look like “you’re not going anywhere”. Sometimes you’re the one in control, sometimes they just use you like a toy and you kinda love it. The game leans into that mix of romance and being absolutely manhandled, with enough humor that it doesn’t feel like some edgy teen fantasy, more like a dirty sitcom that got left alone with a porn budget.

Sex itself gets pretty spicy. Proper animated stuff: slow strokes when a milf wraps her hand around you in the storeroom, sloppy spit when a girl goes down on you behind the closed kitchen door, her lipstick smearing while she tries to keep quiet and fails. Foot stuff shows up in the funniest moments, like you’re at work, having this serious talk about menu changes, and under the table she’s already nudging your cock with her toes, then sliding her sole up and down while still arguing about garnish. There’s lesbian bits too, like catching two village girls in the back after closing, one fingering the other over the sink while they think nobody sees them, then pulling you in because “we might as well use the chef too”. Masturbation scenes feel oddly personal, like the milf next door riding her own fingers while thinking about your cooking, or the monster girl in the woods grinding on your discarded jacket. Vaginal, oral, handjobs, even that scene where a woman rides your face like she owns the place and then makes you beg before she lets you fuck her. It’s all pretty raw, a bit goofy sometimes, and weirdly cozy for a game with that much spit, cum and moaning going on in a village with sheep in the background and a restaurant that absolutely would fail a health inspection if anyone saw what really happens in that kitchen.

Imagine Stardew Valley went on Pornhub, got corrupted by horny aliens, then forgot what crops are and only remembered tits and ranch fences. That’s Starlewd Ranch in the brain. You roll in as this clueless dude who’s supposed to “help on the ranch,” but every single girl looks like she escaped from a gacha game where the only stats are boob size and how hard she moans when you touch her. The first time the blonde ranch girl bends over to pick something and her huge ass just fills the screen, I literally forgot there were menus. She talks about feeding animals and all I’m thinking is “yeah I got something to feed right here,” and then the game actually lets you go there. Not right away, but you see the road. And that’s worse. Or better. Depends how lonely you are.

There’s this moment early on where you end up alone in a barn with one of the “helpers,” she’s got that innocent virgin vibe but also wearing shorts that might as well be a suggestion, not clothing. She’s trying to act shy, eyes all big, then your hand “accidentally” grabs her tit and the game slows down just to show that squeeze. Nipples pushing against your palm, the model actually reacts, and she does this half ahegao face like she’s not ready but also absolutely ready. You finger her against the stall door, hay sticking to her back, she’s biting her lip trying not to scream because people might hear outside. Of course you keep going. You feel her get wetter, she starts grinding on your hand, and the camera angle goes lower, almost between her thighs. That little tremble when she cums on your fingers, with her legs shaking and tits bouncing… yeah, that scene lives rent free. Then five minutes later the same girl is calmly talking about chores like you didn’t just make her soak the entire barn floor, and honestly that mood whiplash is kind of hilarious.

What got me is how the game pretends to be this chill sandbox thing where you just wander around the ranch, talk to people, do simple tasks, but it’s lying to your face. Every route leads to you surrounded by a harem of big tit ranch girls, each one with her own “please sexually harass me a little more” energy. You go from brushing a horse to accidentally pressing your dick against someone’s ass, from “can you help me with this” to her on her knees giving you a sloppy blowjob in a storage shed, drool dripping, eyes rolled up like a full ahegao meme. There’s titfucks where those ridiculous boobs wrap around you, animated enough that you actually see the slide, and oral scenes where you can almost feel the warmth through the screen. Strip scenes are nice too, like when one of them awkwardly strips out of her overalls in your room, trying to act confident, failing, then finally standing there naked and blushing while you just stare. I wish the day-to-day stuff on the ranch mattered more, but it won’t, because the game clearly knows everyone came for that moment when three girls crowd you in a bedroom, arguing who gets the cock first, and you just sit there like some hentai protagonist who tripped and fell into the best ranch in the universe.