Scaly Valley is that kind of horny fantasy story that feels like somebody smashed a dating app, a dragon hoard, and a trashy romance novel together, then said “yeah, that’s fine” and put it online. You start as this very confused main guy, dumped in a valley where half the population has tails, scales, fur, claws or some mix that should not be legal, but absolutely is. The game acts like it wants you to focus on adventure and overcoming “challenges”, but let’s be real, the real challenge is pretending you care about ancient magic while a monster girl with thighs like a vice is pressing her boobs into your face while explaining lore. Yes, there is an actual story, with quests, choices, all that stuff, but the core loop is pretty simple: flirt, tease, pick a dialog option that’s maybe a little too bold, then end up with your face between something thick and soft, or your hands full of ass that doesn’t belong to your race. And it actually tries to sell romance too, which is funny, because one minute I’m listening to heartfelt backstory about a dragon girl who lost her clan, and the next minute I’m sucking her tongue in a cave while she purrs, drools a bit, and wraps her tail tight around my leg like a living handcuff.

The game really loves ass and tits. Like, no subtlety. There’s this one dragon girl with a backside so huge the camera basically treats it as a separate character. You’re talking about some cursed artifact and the scene is animated just enough that her butt jiggles a little when she shifts her weight, and that tiny movement stole the whole moment from the actual plot. Same with the oral scenes: they’re not just “fade to black, imagination time”, the camera is very interested in saliva, tongue, and that messy, needy rhythm that makes it feel less like porn posing and more like two idiots who got too horny too fast. Sometimes it actually feels clumsy in a charming way. A hand misses the perfect spot then slides back, fingers grab too hard, groping looks a bit greedy and not perfectly timed, and that makes it hotter because it feels like someone actually wants it, not a clean animation loop from some stock porn clip. And yeah, there is some furry stuff in there too, in case you like girls with ears, tails and way too expressive hips. Not everything hits perfectly, a few scenes drag a bit while the dialog is trying to sound deep and you’re just waiting for shirts to come off, but the mix of blushy romance, filthy talk, monster girls who can crush you if they want, and that constant sense that you’re one wrong line away from being pinned to the ground by a horny dragon is exactly the kind of problem I like to have.

Royal Madness is probably the closest thing to a horny fairytale written by a very drunk court painter who really likes cats with huge tits and smug faces. You’re tossed in as Lewis, bastard ocelot prince, and the world instantly treats your royal blood like a kink rather than a title. It’s not subtle about it. Every rival, every “enemy,” every supposed threat ends up circling one question: are you fucking them into your harem, or are they turning you into their cute little pet instead. The game doesn’t pretend to be noble. It treats power as a sex toy and nobility as an excuse to collar people and re-style their bodies until they match your tastes a bit too perfectly.

What I liked is that the characters aren’t just recolors of the same cat-girl with different boobs. The art actually feels like someone sat there and thought “ok, what if a smug lioness warlord had hips like a fertility statue and armor that only makes sense if her nipples are a political statement.” Sometimes it looks messy, lines a bit shaky, anatomy going off on its own adventure, but that fits the energy. It’s not corporate clean, more like horny sketchbook that got out of control. There is this rhino general, for example, huge chest, scars across the muzzle, and when you win their challenge the magic doesn’t just slap “now they are pretty” filter. No, you literally watch the body warp piece by piece, broad muscles smoothing or sharpening, maybe the tits swelling stupidly big while they gasp halfway between outrage and getting turned on by losing. That slow change hits way harder than a simple “transformation finished” screen.

The actual structure is that loose sandbox style where you hop from one hot mess to another, switching perspective between male and female protagonist when the story feels like it, not when you are ready. One scene you’re Lewis using magic to slowly erode the pride of a tiger knight, teasing him until his cock and even his voice betray how much he wants to kneel. Next time the game flips and you’re playing as one of your own ex-rivals, now loyal, wandering your palace and accidentally starting something filthy with a new intruder who thought they’d be the one on top. That shift is the fun part. You see the same harem from different eyes, sometimes as a conqueror, sometimes as the newest toy, sometimes as the one being “improved” by your own magic. And the kinks slide around too. One route gives you a stacked lion queen that you carefully nudge from terrifying monarch into doting, overprotective mommy dom, then another throws you against a seemingly submissive bunny clerk that ends with you collared, hips reshaped, moaning her name while she tests how flexible ocelot royalty can be when properly “reformed.” Half the time I was cursing at the tiny UI buttons and weird pacing, the other half I was staring at the screen of my phone on the tram, trying not to bite my lip like a complete idiot.

If you really want to squeeze every filthy drop out of it, don’t rush straight to the obvious sex scenes. Poke around the challenges, lose on purpose sometimes, see how the transformations twist when you’re the loser instead of the victor. Talk to characters again after you’ve changed them, especially the big tits crowd and the ones who pretended they didn’t care about you. Watch how their new bodies and new roles corrupt their own original goals. Treat each battle less like a level and more like a negotiation with the world’s nastiest fashion designer. That’s where the game actually gets hot.

John thinks he knows what “being in control” means. Middle aged dude, nice house, hot wife who calls him “Sir” when the bedroom door closes, cute shy girl hanging around like some lost kitten who accidentally discovered Pornhub too early. Everything looks quiet on the outside, and then Lexie rings the bell with a suitcase and a fuck-you attitude, and the whole setup basically jumps into the blender. The fun part is, the game lets you steer that chaos from inside everyone’s head, not just his. One moment you’re John, getting your cock stroked under the table while trying to act normal. Next scene, you’re Kate, deciding if you punish Lexie for mouthing off or secretly enjoy being challenged by another brat in the house. Then suddenly you’re inside Rachel’s brain, and she’s trying to figure out why watching John dominate Kate makes her so wet she has to masturbate in the bathroom right after family dinner.

What sells it for me is how the sex doesn’t wait until everyone “talks about their feelings” for 10 hours. Lexie walks in, takes one look at how John and Kate play their dom games, and instead of being shocked like a normal person, she basically goes: “Yeah alright, I can work with this.” She’s loud, she teases, she gropes, she tests limits. There’s this scene where she “accidentally” brushes Rachel’s tits while pretending to help her dress, holds a bit too long, and you can feel poor Rachel freeze like a deer in headlights, then squirm because she secretly wants more. Another time Lexie corners John in the shower, starts jerking him off while talking shit about his wife, and you choose if he shuts her down or fucks her hard against the tiles and fills her pussy just to shut her up. And Kate is not just some jealous ornament either. One of my favorite bits is when she realizes Lexie is trying to steal “her Dom” and she flips the script, slaps a collar on Lexie and makes the girl lick her out while John watches. Or doesn’t watch. Your call. The game doesn’t scream “lesbian route” at you, it just quietly throws you into a moment where Kate’s fingers are inside Lexie and Lexie is moaning louder than she swears she ever would.

What’s kind of annoying, small thing, but it stayed in my head, is that one specific outfit. You’ll see it on Rachel, this overly cute getup, and it just will not go away. She wears variations of it and I started focusing more on the stupid bow than on her getting a creampie on the couch. No idea why that pissed me off so much. Anyway, the whole domination angle is not one-note. Sometimes John is clearly in charge, pinning someone down, fucking her slowly until she begs to be filled and then you choose to give her that sloppy creampie or pull out and make her taste every drop while she blushes. Other times, Kate just decides “nope, I’m running this now” and you’re stuck as John, half humiliated, half turned on while both girls use your body like a toy. There are softer things too, masturbating alone in bed while thinking about what you did, or watching two women tangle together on the sheets while you’re not invited. And yeah, there is that forbidden family vibe in the relationships, the way Lexie talks back to Kate, the way Rachel looks at John with those big eyes like he’s some mix of father figure and secret porn fantasy. It never pretends to be wholesome. It’s messy, horny, weirdly funny sometimes, and the story keeps tossing little turns at you, like you think you’re getting a simple harem and suddenly you’re choosing who dominates who, who gets corrupted, and who ends up on their knees licking someone else’s cum out of a freshly fucked pussy.

First thing that hit me with this game is how horny the whole “board game” frame actually feels once you’re inside it. You’re not just clicking scenes, you’re basically a pawn on this smug Game Master’s table, getting moved around a dungeon that clearly cares more about tits and teasing than treasure. Every square you land on is like a dare. One moment you’re planning your next “strategic” move, the next moment a monster girl with ridiculous curves is pressing you into the wall and asking if you like your face buried in big ass or big tits first. And the game lets you lean into being a bastard dom or just… melt. It really goes hard on that push and pull between dominance and submission, you can feel it in almost every encounter. Sometimes literally, like when you choose between slapping her cheeks red or letting her ride your face while she laughs at you.

The humor is pretty trashy in the best way, like a dungeon run written by that one horny DM who never got over their monster girl folder. There’s a lot of tongue-in-cheek jokes about crit fails and “rolling for stamina” while a clingy slime girl is jerking you off in three different ways at once. I actually paused to screenshot a scene where the GM basically mocks you for picking the “wholesome” route, then immediately gives you a “bonus” in the form of a monster girl who acts shy but has hands everywhere. Handjobs are everywhere here, but they’re not just copy-paste scenes. Sometimes it’s a casual “reward” on a safe tile, sometimes it’s you pinned down with her using your cock like a joystick while you pretend you’re still in control of the fight. Vaginal stuff hits harder when you’ve actually schemed your way into it, like when you’ve been edging through groping and spanking options and finally unlock a position that feels earned, not just thrown at you.

What I didn’t expect was how much the multiple protagonist thing would mess with my brain. One run I’m this cocky male hero trying to top every monster girl into submission, another run I’m a stacked female champion getting slowly turned into the GM’s favorite toy. Swapping viewpoints changes the whole flavor of the same board, but it’s messy in a good way. You get these strategy moments where you agonize over a tile that might level your character up or might just end with you on your knees, drool on your chin, while some smug demon girl rides you and keeps “accidentally” grinding your weak spot. Sometimes the female dom stuff sneaks up on you. You think you’re the one in charge because you picked all the aggressive options, then the scene flips and suddenly you’re the one begging while she laughs, spanking you like you’re the pet. The simulator vibe shows up in how you shape your role: do you become a cruel bastard, a submissive toy, or that chaotic mix who spanks her monster girls and then gets pegged metaphorically by the GM narrative two turns later. I kinda wish the board color was different but whatever, I’m still thinking about that one scene where a monster girl sits on your lap mid “battle,” guides your hand to her ass, and the GM just writes in a rule that you lose your turn unless you make her cum. I’m not even mad. Just annoyed that the sound for one specific tile is weirdly louder than everything else and now I can’t un-hear it.