There is this pretty ordinary looking bar game that kind of pretends to be about “business” and “renovation” and whatever, but honestly it is about staring at hot women in tight clothes while pretending you care about paint colors. You play this guy who comes back to his hometown to reopen his dad’s old place, and right away the game starts mixing that “I want to make my father proud” vibe with “I want to fuck basically everyone who lives under this roof”. Very Greek tragedy, if Euripides had a Pornhub premium account. The whole thing feels like a visual novel that accidentally read too much Bukowski and then watched hentai compilations on Twitter. Most scenes are from the hero’s POV so you’re not just watching, you are literally stuck behind his eyes while he tries not to stare at asses and obviously fails. It’s that slow teasing that gets you: brushing against a thigh “by accident”, a too-long hug in the kitchen, a towel slipping just enough when she bends to pick something, the camera angle doing 90% of the work.

The game likes to pretend it’s romantic, and sometimes it really is. There are these quiet moments where you sit with the MILF character on the couch, she talks about regrets and age and the bar’s past, and you almost forget you spent the previous scene with your hand on her ass while she “helped” you clean the counter. Then it goes from emotional to horny in one line of dialogue. You’ll be talking about invoices and suddenly you are in the stockroom, her back against the crates, your hand under her shirt, groping her tits while she bites her lip and tries not to moan too loud because someone might walk by. The animations sell it pretty hard: hands actually squeeze, hips grind, mouths open and drool a bit when they lose control. First time you push a girl to a messy ahegao during a handjob and she looks half broken, half delighted, it’s like some weird crossover between Joyce’s stream of consciousness and “oh shit, she’s actually into this”. The voyeurism stuff sneaks up on you too; one night you wander the house, see a door slightly open, and you can just stand there and watch her on her bed, fingers buried between her thighs, whispering your name while you do nothing but breathe. Or you do something. The game lets you decide if you stay in the shadows jerking off silently, or you step inside and end up with her mouth full of you, warm spit running down your shaft while she stares up, eyes watering, waiting for that mouthful of cum like some bizarre holy communion.

Sex scenes escalate in a way that feels messy and human instead of clinical. The first time you finally fuck one of them, it is not Olympic porn star performance. It starts with awkward kissing, some shy oral where she tries to take you deeper and gags, pulls back with tears in her eyes and then insists she wants it again. You get that clumsy first vaginal sex where she’s still technically a virgin and keeps telling you to go slow, nails digging in your shoulders when you push in all the way. Later she’s riding you on a barstool, panties pushed to the side, your cock sliding in and out while you try to keep quiet because, yes, the front door is not locked. Anal comes in as this “we really shouldn’t” moment after she’s already dripping from regular sex; you spit in your hand, rub her tight little hole, she curses you in that half joking way and then you press in and feel her whole body shiver in the animation. Creampies happen a lot, probably more than is medically responsible. You finish inside, watch the cum slowly leak out of her swollen pussy, sometimes from her ass, sometimes filling her mouth until she gives you that stupid happy ahegao face and swallows with a loud gulp. There’s humour everywhere, dumb jokes about drink names while her hand is stroking you under the counter, flirting that feels like those horny Discord servers where everyone pretends to be ironic and then starts cybering anyway. It’s not subtle, it’s not elegant, it’s just this strange mix of romance, filth, and renovation spreadsheets that somehow works until you catch yourself caring which wall you paint while replaying the memory of her moaning your name in your head.

You start out as this incubus kid that somehow survived a holy massacre, raised by the same warrior chick who was supposed to kill you. By the time the game actually lets you move around, you’re not some crying baby demon, you’re a horny adult with way too much divine “blessing” in your blood and way too much curiosity. The whole world basically hates what you are, but every time someone wants to punish you, it turns into some wild sex scene instead of a sermon. It’s like: “you are a danger to the races” and then two minutes later you’ve got her on her knees, drooling on your cock, trying to keep her pride while you push her head all the way down and watch her mascara die. Most scenes lock you into first-person and you really feel like you’re the one making these women betray their gods, their husbands, their own rules. Sometimes it feels wrong. Then you click the next option and make it worse on purpose.

One of my favorite bits was with this “saint” MILF, all holy voice and fake gentle eyes, who’s supposed to check your purity or something. You can play it respectful, but if you lean into the maledom side, you put her slowly on her back, lift that fancy robe, and just keep pushing until her halo basically falls off. The way her face breaks into full ahegao while she still tries to quote holy lines is ridiculous and hot in a stupid way. And the game doesn’t just jump cut to orgasms, it lets you watch her go from “I’m in control” to “I’m addicted” while you decide if you finish in her mouth, her pussy, her ass, or all of them over several scenes. The creampie angles are extra mean here, because the camera stays close, like it’s trying to make you stare at how deep you’re stuffing these women. Then suddenly you have a foursome in a temple with a dark-skinned warrior, a nervous elf, the saint and your “mom” figure watching from the shadows, and someone is on your cock, someone is riding your face, and someone is licking the other girl’s ass like this is normal religious practice. It’s messy and crowded and kind of confusing to track who’s moaning what, but it hits.

I streamed a censored version of one route on Chaturbate and people in chat kept spamming “this foot scene is criminal” during the part where a proud knight gets forced to kneel and clean you with her tongue. That footjob starts almost as humiliation, like she doesn’t even want to look you in the eyes, and then she begins pressing your shaft between her soles, stroking slow, trying to pretend she isn’t into it. Later, you catch that same girl secretly watching you fuck her squadmate from behind through a half-open door, hand in her panties, and you get a little voyeurism moment where you decide if you drag her inside or keep “performing” for her. There’s also this threesome with your demon side getting tested: one warrior girl, one soft mage, both different races, both on your bed, taking turns sucking you while you finger the other. At some point you just grab the mage’s hair, shove her down, and the other girl sits on your face, grinding so hard you almost forget which one you’re supposed to dominate. The toys show up later, when they try to “rehabilitate” you and end up strapping stuff to you and themselves, trying roleplay scenes that obviously backfire. There’s a ridiculously hot lesbian detour in the barracks too, where two women start “training” each other with a toy, and you decide if you step in or just watch them ride each other raw until they can barely talk. It’s messy, horny, sometimes awkward, sometimes way too much, like someone smashed together a dark fantasy war story and a Pornhub search history, but it sticks in your head for the wrong reasons and the right ones at the same time.

Christmas porn games almost never hit me in the right way. Mostly some lazy elf tits and a looped jingle that makes you want to mute your whole PC. This one actually felt like somebody drunk and horny tried to write a cheesy holiday romcom and then kept adding filth on top until it turned into a mess that somehow works. You show up in your hometown with this whole “I will fix my dad’s bar, I will be serious adult entrepreneur now” idea in your head, and five minutes later you’re basically Santa’s pervy helper, stuck in a house with three women who all have different ways to fuck with your brain and your dick. One is that soft “I remember when you were a cute kid” type, but now she bends over in yoga pants and you get these POV angles like the dev wants you to suffer. Another one is clearly trouble, all flirting and teasing, sitting on your lap “as a joke” while you try not to nut in your pants. The last one has that older woman energy, like she’s tired of the world, but every time she gives you that half smile you just know she’d ride you slow while drinking wine and pretending it’s nothing.

What I liked is how it mixes horny and stupid little holiday moments. One scene I had the dude sneaking out at night, spying through a cracked door while one of them is in this cheap sexy Santa outfit, touching herself on the couch with the tree lights blinking behind her. It’s dirty and kind of romantic at same time, which pisses me off because I came to jerk off and now my feelings are in the way. Maybe I’m just weak. The game throws these choices at you like “be a decent guy” or “grab that ass right now” and I swear sometimes the “good” choice feels more perverted because the camera lingers longer when you try to hold back. There is a handjob in front of the Christmas tree that escalates into a full blowjob and a messy mouth finish, and the way she looks up with that ahegao face is so over the top I actually laughed. Then kept clicking. Then hated myself a bit. And then clicked more. I tried to play it cool and go for slow romance at first, but the first time she presses that warm thigh against the MC under a blanket while snow falls outside, it’s like the game whispers “you’re not here for emotional growth, shut up and click the lewd choice.”

Sex scenes feel like a reward and also like a punishment. You get those nice close shots when you finally push into her, and the animation is not perfect at all, sometimes the movement looks kind of stiff, but that almost turns me on more, because it feels like a dirty fan project instead of some glossy studio thing. There is vaginal, there is anal if you push things far and play your cards like a little manipulative shit, there is this Christmas morning moment where she wakes you up with a slow blowjob that turns into you painting her face like it’s a “special gift,” and yeah, I screenshotted that. On the other side, some pacing is weird: one minute you’re having a pretty honest chat about your dead dad and the weight of the bar, next minute she’s grinding on your lap in leggings, moaning in your ear, and you’re choosing between creampie and pulling out on her back. I kinda wish the game let you be more of a voyeur for longer before things go full-on porn, but it rushes sometimes, then drags in random spots like a drunk Santa stuck in a chimney. Also there is this one Christmas jingle that loops a bit too much and now it lives rent free in my brain, like a cursed TikTok sound. Still, when she leans in, whispers she’s never done it like this before, and you watch her stretched around you from that tight POV angle, with the garland lights flickering on her skin, you forget all small problems and just go along, like an idiot who came home to fix a bar and ended up fucking half the holiday spirit instead.

You start as this broke street rat in some sweaty desert port, basically the guy NPCs normally ignore, and suddenly you’re dragged into rich people drama, horny djinn problems and pirate bullshit in the same week. It’s got that “1001 Nights, but everyone is way too fuckable and nobody is wearing enough clothes for this climate” vibe. One scene you’re shining the boots of some noble with more jewelry than sense, next scene you’re on your knees giving him a blowjob because apparently gratitude in this city is paid in cum, not coin. The story pretends to be epic sometimes, talking about fate of the world and all that, but every third choice is “do you want to fuck them now or fuck them later” and honestly, that’s the better writing anyway. I played it on Firefox, had two other tabs open with porn and Reddit, and this thing still managed to hold my attention more than both, which is kinda embarrassing.

The POV focus actually works nicely here, since a lot of the tension is you stuck right in front of someone’s thighs or under their ass while they decide if they want to use you like a toy or maybe have a deep emotional moment first, then use you like a toy. The muscle girls are the real stars. There’s this tall viking-style shieldmaiden later on who just casually picks your scrawny ass up, pushes you against the mast of a ship and rides you like she’s trying to break you in half. She puts your hands on her abs while she grinds down and you can almost feel that “oh shit I’m just a dildo for her” panic mixed with “yes, more, ruin my pelvis” happiness. Then somewhere else you get a pirate captain with golden eyes and a mean grin who makes you lick his boots before giving you a lazy handjob, like he’s bored, like getting you off is just another chore between looting and murder. The game calls it humor, but some of those scenes are savage. In a good way. Mostly.

What surprised me is how casually it throws you between goofy banter, fucked up fights and then just filth. One minute you’re in a tavern joking with a femboy serving drinks, and he’s teasing you with his bare feet under the table, rubbing your crotch with his toes while still holding a conversation about politics. Then if you push things, you end up on your back in some storage room, his cock pressing against your lips while you jerk him off and he grinds his heel into your chest like he’s pinning you down. And if you’re into guys or futa, the routes feel optional without that usual “haha surprise dick” nonsense. There’s a trap in desert clothes with this playful smile who starts out massaging your shoulders after a rough fight, and before you know it you’re bent over, he’s sliding into your ass and whispering in your ear how good you’re taking it, while your own dick is dripping on the carpet. At the same time, you can go full straight pirate hero and just ruin every pussy in sight, from noble ladies who use you as stress relief to rough mercenaries who make you eat them out after a bloody brawl, with sweat and blood still on their thighs. The violence is not shy either: combat scenes leave people chopped, burned, torn apart, and you can still end up getting a sloppy blowjob behind a ruined wall right after the fight because the adrenaline is high and your companion decides the best way to celebrate survival is to swallow your load. It’s messy, horny, sometimes stupid, sometimes weirdly sweet, and half the time I couldn’t tell if I was here to save the world or just to see how many holes my “hero” can fill in one lifetime.