Charlie in this thing is like if some horny fanfiction writer got drunk and rewrote Star Wars from memory, but only remembered the boob parts. She shows up in that half-assed space outfit that looks like it failed a cosplay contest, and somehow her tits are both the main plot and the side quest. Blonde, big, bouncing every time she pretends to do “space combat”. Feels less like a Jedi and more like a walking pair of soft hitboxes. And it kind of works, in a stupid, dirty way. The humor is pure 2009 internet energy: stupid puns on character names, sex jokes that don’t even try to be smart, and then suddenly a threesome scene that hits way harder than the build-up deserves. I was laughing at the dumb “force-skin” jokes and still clicking like a degenerate, which is a strange combination. Sometimes you want high art. This is not that. This is like porn Mad Libs written during a late-night shitpost session. And yet I kept going.

The “choices” are that funny kind of fake freedom where you know the dev is just teasing you, but you still pause a second like, ok, do I send Charlie to flirt with the old creep space master, or do I push her right into the princess’ lap first. One click and boom, she’s on her knees testing the “dark side”, like yeah, we all saw that coming, but it still hits nice when the camera gets a bit too interested in her mouth and the strings of spit. The threesome stuff starts chaotic in a good way, like the scene doesn’t know if it wants to be a joke or a straight-up fuckfest, and the result is Charlie stuck in the middle, tits squeezed together, someone behind her, someone in front, and all the dialogue is horny parody that absolutely overstays its welcome. I liked that everyone talks too much, then I got tired of it, then one stupid gag about the “shaft” made me snort again. The princess is written like that one smug girl from your porn search history who pretends she’s above it, then five minutes later she’s riding like she invented it, moaning something about “galactic peace” while getting absolutely railed. It’s crass, sometimes lazy, kind of embarrassing, pretty hot, and way too convinced its own dick jokes are clever. I’m not proud of how much I enjoyed watching Charlie “negotiate” with the pimp master using her throat, while some knockoff Jedi wisdom plays in the background like a bad YouTube parody. But I did. And if the idea of a horny blonde space bimbo juggling cocks and stupid puns in a galaxy that looks suspiciously like a Pornhub comment section makes you grin even a little, you already know where this is going.

This one feels like some horny nerd finally snapped during a Star Wars marathon and said, “fuck it, I’m making my own space porn.” You’re basically a scruffy nobody drifting around a very familiar galaxy that is totally not copyrighted, trying to make money, pull jobs, and slowly corrupt a bunch of Jedi girls who should absolutely not be alone with you in a locked room. There’s this cheap smuggler vibe to everything: backwater cantinas, shitty little side deals, coded messages, passwords that look like they were scribbled on a napkin after too much beer. Half the time I felt like I was playing some cracked version a friend sent on Discord, even though it’s just how the game is written. That ugly charm kind of works. You’re not a hero, you’re not a chosen one, you’re a guy who figures out you can push people with the Force and also push their morals until they start doing filthy things for you. Star Wars fantasy, but not the “save the galaxy” one, the “fuck the galaxy” one.

The girls are the real point, of course. They start off with that clean Jedi attitude, calm and moral and all that, then you grind their resistance down with training scenes, stupid errands, and those awkward “meditation” sessions that are 10 percent philosophy and 90 percent “oops I touched your thigh again.” Those CG scenes are where the game stops pretending and just goes full-on hentai brain: robes sliding open, lightsabers forgotten, a lot of messy facial expressions where they clearly don’t know if they should be ashamed or just moan louder. There is this moment early on when you finally get one of them alone in your ship’s crappy little cabin after doing some scam with a smuggler password, and she’s acting all formal, standing straight, talking about “discipline,” and you realize the dialogue wheel quietly shifted from teacher mode to “make her strip for ‘focus’ practice.” It’s ridiculous, and also hot, and also morally awful, and the game never really pretends it’s anything else. Sometimes it even throws you these awkward choices like, “Do you respect her boundaries” next to “Use the Force to make her horny,” and you already know what kind of game you clicked, so yeah.

There’s a nice little thrill when you punch in some code like INDIANATK or whisper a word like Nispack to the right shady character and suddenly a door opens, a new CG set unlocks, or a Jedi girl “accidentally” loses her top during a sparring session. It feels like cheating on a test you didn’t study for. The pacing is weird as hell: you might spend forever talking, grinding a bit of money, bouncing between planets, then bam, one scene where you have her kneeling between your legs in a dimly lit cargo hold, trying not to be heard by the crew. Then it cools down again and you’re stuck clicking through dialogue like some horny accountant. I wish the smuggler side of the game had more bite. You keep hearing about shady deals and dangerous runs, but most of the time it’s just menu choices and the occasional “job success” line, and then you’re back to seducing space nuns with fancy swords. But then again, I opened it for porn, not space economics, so maybe that’s fine. The whole thing feels half trashy fanfic, half dirty little puzzle about how far you can push a Jedi before she starts begging you to use the Force on her in ways the council would absolutely not approve. It’s crude, unpolished, and kind of exactly what it wants to be.

I’m typing this from my office with Slack open in the other window, pretending I’m editing a spreadsheet while actually replaying dialogue in my head from this filthy little space VN. The Pilot drops you straight into being this hotshot rebel pilot who’s supposed to be all “serious war hero”, but let’s be real: the only thing I cared about after ten minutes was how fast I could piss off command and end up alone in a hangar with a certain green-skinned Twi’lek captain and an overly curious blue asari scientist. It’s like someone smashed Mass Effect and Star Wars together in a horny blender, then forgot to clean the mess, and I mean that as a compliment and an insult at the same time. Sometimes the story hits surprisingly hard, then one click later you’re choosing if you want to make a snarky remark while your pants are already suspiciously tight.

What really got me is how the game pretends to be this deep moral journey, with “freedom” and “truth” and all that big talk, but every time I had a big choice my brain went: “Ok but which path gets me naked alien sooner.” There’s a scene early where you’re in the cockpit, stars stretching by, your ship half broken, and Liara-style blue girl is on the comm trying to “run a scan” on you. Dialogue goes from professional to horny in like three lines. I clicked the flirty answer just to see what happens and suddenly she’s talking about how human pilots have “excellent physical stamina” and I’m sitting at my desk pretending to cough so no one hears me laugh. Then later, when you finally meet her in person, the game pulls this slow build, real sci-fi nerd chat about relics and ancient tech, and I’m thinking, wow, pretty solid lore here actually, then the camera just hard-zooms on her tits and my brain resets. It’s dumb. I loved it. I hated that I loved it. Then I loved that I hated that I loved it. Anyway.

The best part for me is when you’re stuck between the blue archaeologist type and the Twi’lek pilot who very clearly could fly a fighter better than you even while riding your dick. There’s a mission briefing where Hera style lady is all business, talking strategy, but the CG keeps slipping her top a bit too low, lekku almost brushing your shoulder. You can choose the professional reply, sure, but if you pick the more cocky option she gives you this look that basically says “I’m going to ride you after the mission, if you survive.” Then the game actually makes you play out that survival, with choices that feel like they matter in the moment, but in the back of your mind you’re thinking, “If I fuck up here do I lose the scene where she pins me to the bunk and uses me like a joystick?” Also there is this tiny thing that drove me crazy: one of the cockpit buttons is labelled in a way that absolutely no pilot would ever use, like “Aux Thruster Button 2” or something stupid, and I stared at it every time it appeared and it pulled me out of the mood for two seconds, then alien boobs appeared and I forgot again. The game is horny, clumsy, surprisingly emotional in random spots, and full of those “shit, I shouldn’t have picked that answer but damn that was hot” moments that you remember later when you’re trying to focus in a Teams meeting.

This Star Wars parody throws you into the director's chair while Ahsoka auditions for... let's call it a very different kind of role than what she's used to in the Clone Wars. The whole setup is beautifully absurd - here's this iconic Jedi getting put through her paces in increasingly compromising situations, and you're the one calling the shots. The animation quality actually surprised me, especially considering how many of these parody games look like they were made in someone's basement over a weekend. Ahsoka's character model moves fluidly through different positions and scenarios, though I kept getting distracted by how her montrals seemed to clip through certain furniture pieces during the more intense scenes.

What really makes this thing work is the branching system - different combinations of your choices lead to wildly different outcomes. One minute you're having her demonstrate some "lightsaber handling techniques" and the next she's bent over a casting couch getting thoroughly examined for her... acting abilities. The oral scenes are particularly well done, with solid attention to detail in the animations. Though honestly, the male domination aspects feel a bit heavy-handed at times, like the dev was trying too hard to hit every fetish checkbox. The interracial elements add some variety to the casting scenarios, but sometimes it feels more like demographic pandering than natural storytelling.

The sex toy integration is where things get really creative - there's this whole sequence where you can have her "audition" with various props that would definitely not be approved by the Jedi Council. The anal content ramps up gradually depending on your choices, which is actually pretty thoughtful design. My only real complaint is that the groping mechanics feel clunky - the hit detection is off and sometimes you're grabbing air while thinking you're copping a feel. Still, for a quick session when you want to see a beloved character in decidedly non-canonical situations, it delivers exactly what it promises.