Kasumi Rebirth feels like catching someone’s private mod folder that accidentally got pushed live and nobody had the heart to stop it. It’s just Kasumi, chained up, not doing the “cool ninja” thing at all, and the whole game is basically you seeing how far you can push her body before you get bored or feel weird about yourself. She hangs there in those metal restraints, soft skin, big tits squeezed by the outfit that you immediately start ripping off, because of course you do. There is no fake romance, no “story” pretending this isn’t what it is. You poke her, grab her, slide hands over her tits, pinch her nipples a bit too hard, then harder, just to see if the reaction changes. It turns into this quiet little lab experiment: what if I put fingers in her pussy first, then in her ass, then both, then ignore both and just use her tits like they are toys made of warm jelly. The game doesn’t judge. It just lets you be a freak in peace.

The main loop of Kasumi Rebirth is strangely hypnotic: click, drag, spread her legs, tilt her hips, line her up for doggystyle, then get distracted and go back to playing with her mouth. You pull her head back, slide a dildo between her lips, watch those eyes say everything without a single line of dialog. Deepthroat her with plastic, then switch holes like a bored god with too much free time. Pussy, ass, mouth, back to pussy, then push it in her asshole again just because you like the way she tightens around it. You can masturbate her slowly, tease her clit until she twitches, then ram something inside and go straight for a rough creampie like the concept of foreplay never existed. Cumshots on her face, on her breasts, slipping down her body, and at some point I tried to see if I could cover both tits perfectly and got annoyed because one drop kept sliding off the side in a stupid way that distracted me more than it should. There is also this breast expansion thing going on that feels like someone’s late-night fever dream: you start tweaking and pumping and suddenly her big tits are not just big, they are ridiculous, heavy, almost comical, but somehow it works because this game stopped pretending to be “normal” a long time ago. It is rough, it is ***-y, it is torture dressed up as “gentle play”, and yet the whole thing has this old-school Internet porn game energy that makes you keep testing one more position, one more angle, one more messy facial, just to see how far Kasumi’s body can be turned into a toy before you finally close the tab and swear you’re done with Dead or Alive girls forever.

This Zelda parody hits different than your typical fan game bullshit. Love in Hyrule throws you into some alternate timeline where Princess Zelda's got three other girls hanging around and everyone's horny as hell. The whole isekai angle works surprisingly well here - you're not Link, you're just some random dude who ended up in Hyrule and now these four women want to jump your bones. Zelda's still got that royal attitude but she's way more forward about what she wants. Ribo and Zaphie feel like original characters that actually belong in this world instead of feeling tacked on, and Kiya... well, she's got her own thing going on that I won't spoil.

The RenPy engine does its job fine, though the interface feels a bit clunky sometimes when you're trying to navigate between scenes. LewdSama's artwork carries this whole thing - the character designs stay true to the Zelda aesthetic while being sexy as fuck. Each girl has distinct personality quirks that come through in both dialogue and sex scenes. The harem setup doesn't feel forced either, which is rare for these kinds of games. You're not collecting waifus like Pokemon cards, there's actual relationship building happening between the steamy bits. Some of the dialogue gets cheesy but in that good way where you're laughing with it instead of at it.

What really surprised me was how much effort went into making Hyrule feel lived-in. You're not just clicking through sex scenes, there's actual exploration and world-building happening. The romance progression feels natural too - these aren't just fuck dolls waiting for you to show up, they've got their own motivations and desires. The hot scenes are well-written and varied enough that each character feels unique in bed. Fair warning though, this definitely leans into the fantasy fulfillment side of things rather than trying to be some deep narrative experience. But honestly? Sometimes that's exactly what you want from a Zelda porn game.

Princess Zelda here is not the noble wise girl from the usual Nintendo stuff. She is passed out drunk on a small table like after some shitty village party, legs open, clothes still “kind of” on, and you are basically the invisible bastard deciding what happens to her. The game throws you right into it, no slow intro, just Zelda sleeping with that messy blonde hair and big tits almost falling out, and three guys already around her like hyenas. It feels like a nasty extra scene ripped out from Breath of the Wild, but more like if a horny modder went completely crazy after drinking too much. You’re poking, pulling, stripping pieces of clothing off, checking how the panties slide down her thighs, how the bra gets pushed under those tits. The sleep thing is weirdly hot and also kind of fucked up, she never wakes up, she just moans and reacts with her body. It’s like the game is saying “yeah, we know this is wrong, and you’re still clicking” and honestly, I kept clicking.

What I liked a lot is how everything is hidden behind clicks that are not explained. There is no big UI, you just tap around like some perv searching for secrets. You touch her boobs, they bounce, her nipples harden, a guy moves in closer. You rub her pussy, the panties slowly get shifted, then suddenly you’re looking at her shaved slit and already deciding if you go straight for anal first or not. That choice is funny because I kept changing my mind, going “ok pussy first, no wait, that ass is too nice, shit, go back.” There is this moment when you finally line her ass up and push in, and her sleeping face does this tiny reaction, like a half-frown, half-pleasure look, and it got me more than the full-on bukkake later. Speaking of that, the cumshots are everywhere, on her face, boobs, belly, and the game lets you overdo it until she looks like someone spilled a whole bottle of glue on her. I got annoyed that sometimes the cum doesn’t land exactly where I expected, I kept trying to cover one nipple perfectly and it always missed by like two pixels, and I still don’t know why that pissed me off so much.

Then there’s the futa thing, which is half hidden like some naughty Easter egg. You click near the bottle, suddenly Zelda has a cock, and it somehow fits her too well. Watching her sleep while her own dick is hard is a strange mix of cute and totally degenerate. I spent too long just teasing it, making it twitch while the guys still use her holes, because it felt like solving a small dirty puzzle: “how many things can be happening on this girl at the same time without the scene breaking.” When she finally shoots her load, it mixes with the other cum already on her body, and the whole screen looks like a porn painter lost control. It’s not a complicated game, it’s literally just clicking and dragging and trying different spots, but the way it’s built makes you feel like you found some forbidden Zelda cartridge under your bed when you were a teen, only this time you actually get to see her fucked unconscious and drained from both ends. I kind of hate how much I liked it.

Can’t lie, I clicked expecting another copy-paste anime mashup with the usual stiff models and dead-eyed moans, but this one hits different. There’s a sadness under all that skin, like someone coded their fantasies too carefully, you know? I found myself staring at Raven’s face - Batman’s Raven - and thinking, “she shouldn’t be looking at me like that,” while still dragging her into position anyway. Unreal how fast guilt turns into hunger when the animation breathes just right. And maybe it’s because of the Illusion engine doing its sneaky physics thing, or maybe because the transitions are almost clumsy, like real people fumbling with clothes and patience. It’s messy, which makes it hot.

The scenes jump from universes without pretending to make sense. One second I’m in some broken-down Capsule Corp lab, Bulma smirking like she *planned* to get caught; next, Yoruichi’s toes press against my chest, laughing, telling me to look up. I did. Of course I did. The voyeur mode feels wrong in the best possible way - it doesn’t even give you fake morality options, just lets you watch. But then again, maybe that’s lazy design. Or genius. Hard to tell when your brain’s half-melted. The weird part? The sound mix changes depending on position, so D.Va sounds distant if she turns away. I swear no one ever gets audio that intimate, not even those overpriced VR patches on Steam.

Anyway, I could say it’s perfect, but I won’t. Some things twitch too mechanically - the faces sometimes freeze mid-expression, like they remember they’re code. Yet that’s also the charm. You see the seams, and you keep touching them. Like rubbing a wound for pleasure. Half the cast shouldn’t exist in the same space - Orihime beside Tifa beside Samus - but here they crowd my screen like they’ve been waiting forever. Maybe that’s why it works: it’s absurd, obscene, familiar, and somehow lonelier than expected. I closed the browser and immediately reopened it. Couldn’t help it.