Ash finally gets to be a horny idiot instead of a pure shonen hero in this one, and honestly, that alone sold me. The game takes that familiar “boy with pokeballs and way too much optimism” thing and twists it into a mix of goofy parody and very explicit tension with Sarena. It feels like somebody watched the anime, got frustrated that all flirting there is basically at kindergarten level, and then wrote fanfic with a puzzle minigame, combat encounters, and a lot of naked ambition. The tone jumps between genuine romance and straight up pervy stupidity in a way that should not work, but somehow it does. One second you get a surprisingly tender scene where Ash is actually looking at Sarena like she’s a real person, asking what she wants from their future, and five minutes later you’re solving a stupid sliding tile puzzle so he can “accidentally” walk in while she’s changing. The game keeps using these little puzzles to gate horny scenes, which sounds annoying, but it keeps the pacing from turning into a porn slideshow. Well, mostly. Sometimes it still feels like a porn slideshow with extra steps.

What really caught my linguist brain is the dirty talk. You can tell this script was written by someone who is not a native English speaker, but instead of killing the mood, it becomes part of the charm. There are these lines like “I will train your body like I trained my pokemon” where you go “ok that is objectively cringe” while at the same time getting weirdly turned on because it fits this dumb, overconfident Ash so well. He swears more than you ever hear from him in any official thing, and when he slips and calls Sarena his “special partner in combat and love,” the English is slightly off, but it feels honest. Sarena’s lines are softer and then suddenly filthy, like she has been holding back for ten seasons and now she is just done. There is a scene where she whispers that she wants to “catch every part of you,” and it sounds wrong grammatically, but the timing and the expressions in the CGs hit hard. The 3D style looks a bit plastic sometimes, yet her blush, the way she bites her lip, it matches the broken English in a way that makes the whole thing feel almost too personal, like reading someone’s secret horny notebook that should not be online but thankfully is. The combat parts are just simple enough that you do not hate them, with some funny parody moments thrown in when a pokemon basically cockblocks the scene. I kind of wish the puzzles had a “skip” option, but they do not, and I am not getting over that anytime soon. Still, when the happy ending hits and these two idiots finally stop pretending they are just trainer and performer and actually fuck like people who have been eye-fucking each other across battlefields for years, all the weird phrasing, the goofy humor, the sudden tenderness, it clicks into something strangely satisfying and very, very dirty.

Holy Shaft feels like someone smashed a horny visual novel into an elevator control panel and then just walked away to let the chaos run itself. You’re stuck in this weird magic lift that spits you out on random floors, and every floor is basically: “ok, who are you humiliating or getting humiliated by this time?” It’s all short, punchy scenes, no long build up, which I really liked since I just wanted something spicy between Discord scrolling and checking WhatsApp. You get a situation, a character, a couple of blunt choices, and suddenly there’s a girl bending over, someone getting their ass slapped red, or a toy coming out of nowhere like it’s the most normal thing in the world. The animation is surprisingly decent for this kind of quickie game, a bit stiff in places, but the way the bodies move when you go hard on a spanking actually sells the impact more than I expected. The camera sometimes lingers a bit too long on weird angles, like focusing right on a thigh while the good stuff is happening slightly off center, and it annoyed me, but not enough to stop clicking through. Also the elevator voice? It feels like it’s judging you sometimes. Maybe that’s just me.

The main fun is that the scenes twist depending on what kind of bastard you decide to be. Say yes to the more cruel options and you end up dragging a shy girl into some real degrading shit, with toys getting used on her in ways that made me go “ok wow, we’re doing that now” and then click again anyway. Pick the “nicer” choices and you still get sex but with this awkward, playful vibe, a lot of teasing and embarrassed moaning, more like a horny comedy skit than a hardcore thing. I had one run where I tried to be respectful, like “I’m a gentleman,” and five floors later I was still smacking an angel’s ass while she called me “master” with a straight face, so, yeah, the game kinda laughs at you for pretending to be pure. There are multiple endings, but it’s not this big deep RPG style thing, it’s more like the game going “ok, you were an evil pervert this time, here’s your special reward and your cursed epilogue.” I hit one ending where the elevator basically becomes my personal sex dungeon, with everyone I messed with stuck to different floors waiting for more. Another time it was more humiliating for my character, like the girls ganging up and using toys on me instead, making fun of how many bad choices I picked. Honestly that one was hotter and also kinda embarrassing because the dialogue roasted me harder than Twitter replies. The humor is very hit or miss, some jokes land, some feel like a Reddit comment from ten years ago, but the mix of dumb comedy with really shameless kinks gives it this trashy charm. It’s not “high art”, it’s just “click, spank, cum, laugh a bit, reload.” And sometimes that’s exactly what I want.

City of Libon looks like one of those chill fantasy hubs from some JRPG at first, pretty trees, long-eared ladies walking around, everything peaceful… then you realize every single elf around you is basically one bad day away from begging you to breed her senseless. The game doesn’t pretend to be classy about it. There’s a curse, nobody’s getting pregnant, and your dick is the only one that still works for baby-making. That’s the whole deal. I kinda respect how direct it is. No hundred lines of lore, no boring “chosen one prophecy”, just “your cum fixes elves, now get to work.” And suddenly you’re having awkwardly funny conversations where everyone is half-flirting, half-treating you like walking fertility clinic.

Meliara, the elf mage who drags you into this mess, is probably going to be the main reason a lot of people stay. She’s got that serious bookworm face, long ears, nice ass that doesn’t match how cold she tries to sound, and she talks to you like you’re a lab rat she’s secretly horny for. It’s hilarious. One second she’s all “this is for serious research” and next thing she’s sitting on your lap, pretending it’s only to measure something “for magical reasons” while your cock is pressed right against her. The story scenes slide into horny moments very fast, but never really feel like someone flipped a switch. You’ll be talking about the curse, she’ll ask you some fake “clinical” questions, and then she’s pumping you with her hand, watching your face like it’s another data point. I liked the small expressions they give her too, like how she tries to stay poker face even with her tongue hanging a bit when she gets that stupid ahegao look mid-creampie. There is one thing that annoyed me: she keeps making these little comments about the city layout and some past war, but the game never lets you actually explore those places. Why mention some forbidden grove if I’m never going to pound someone against a tree there? That thing stuck in my brain way more than it should and then the game just moves on like nothing. Whatever. The actual action makes up for it most of the time. You get choices in dialog where you can be more sweet, more cocky, or just horny and blunt, and it changes how they react in bed later, which is nice. Not like huge “branching story” nice, but enough that when an older elf with thick tits and soft belly leans over a table and you tell her she looks better filled than any wine barrel in Libon, she actually blushes and doesn’t just give generic line. Then again, sometimes you say something rough and the next line feels like it came from another scene, but you kinda just click ahead because the next CG smacks your brain anyway.

Sex-wise, the game is not shy at all. Big asses everywhere, soft bellies, huge tits that actually bounce a bit between frames when you’re fucking them, like those cheap but hot gifs people repost on Reddit. Early on it leans harder on handjobs and teasing, almost like they want you a bit frustrated before you finally get to sink in. I liked that they let the camera sit on the moment your dick pushes in for vaginal for the first time with each girl, there’s something about that tiny pause where you see her stretch around you that hits nice. Creampies are the main event of course, because of the whole fertility thing, so you’re pretty much encouraged to unload inside everyone. It’s not just a “white screen, done” moment either. They show it dripping, they show the elf’s face going from controlled to stupid-happy, sometimes even a little heart popping next to her pupils while she’s doing full ahegao, mouth open, like she just unlocked some new fetish. There’s one scene with a monster girl type, kind of half-elf with weird features, where she rides you so hard your choice is literally “beg her to slow down” or “grab her ass and thrust back like an animal”, and both lead to different animations of you stuffing her full. That one stuck in my head because the angle is low, all you see is her ass slamming down, your cock disappearing inside, and you hear her talk about wanting to “steal all that seed just for myself” while pretending she cares about saving her city. She doesn’t. None of them do. They just want to be bred, and the dating sim talking just makes it funnier, like everyone is trying to put romance and humor on top of pure, shameless breeding kink. It’s messy, it’s not perfect, sometimes dialog feels like it was written half-awake, but it hits that horny brain spot where you keep clicking “next” even when you told yourself you’d stop after one more scene.

Imagine waking up from a shitty nap and suddenly you’re on this shiny-ass space ship, no idea how you got there, surrounded by nine girls who all look like someone fed hentai tropes into ChatGPT and then cranked the boobs slider to max. That’s Simon’s life now. Mine too, kinda. The vibe is like someone took Mass Effect, removed 90% of the serious plot, added 200% more tits and facial expressions that would probably break your jaw in real life. Every corridor on that ship feels like a horny TikTok thirst trap that never ends. You walk down a hallway and boom, one monster girl with slime on all the wrong/right places, next turn it’s some stacked space officer pretending she doesn’t love when you stare while she “adjusts her uniform”. The game is very self aware, it keeps roasting itself for being cliché, then instantly throws you into another “oops I fell on your dick” situation like it learned absolutely nothing.

What I liked a lot is how the teasing is baked into the flow. It’s not just click to see boobs, click again for creampie, done. Sometimes you’re in the middle of this “save the universe” nonsense and suddenly you’re locked in a room with a half-alien girl who insists this weird glowing machine is a “compatibility scanner” but, like, she’s already half naked before you can ask a single question. Or that one scene where you’re supposed to do a serious briefing, giant hologram galaxy behind you, but your brain is just gone because one of the crew is in a skin-tight suit that leaves absolutely nothing to imagination, and the game keeps giving you dialogue options that make you choose between acting like a captain or acting like a thirsty little shit. I always pick thirsty then complain internally. That’s how cam life prepared me for this, by the way. Juggling horny and pretending to be professional on webcam? Same energy. I swear one of the girls could be my regular from Chaturbate, the way she keeps doing full ahegao and pretending it’s “for research”. Yeah babe, same research I do with my Lovense when someone drops a big tip on OnlyFans.

The sex scenes themselves hit pretty hard. There are a lot of “oh fuck, I might get caught” moments that make it extra hot. Like fucking behind some half-open door while the rest of the crew is walking past, or getting pushed up against a glass panel inside the ship so anyone in space theoretically could see. Creampies are treated like they’re solving world hunger, everyone’s very proud of your dick. Sometimes too proud. There’s a monster girl scene where you’re basically being milked and I was like, this is too much, I hate it, don’t stop. The humor is dumb, in that good, horny-brain-on-Twitter way, with stupid one-liners and meme references that made me roll my eyes then laugh. The game also loves to cut away at the rudest moments. You’re about to nut and suddenly it jumps to some random sci fi nonsense about saving galaxies, like an annoying ad on Pornhub. Then five seconds later you’re back in another cabin with another set of giant tits bouncing in zero gravity, which doesn’t even make sense physically but whatever, I’m not here to fact check NASA. I wish they’d let the emotional parts breathe more, but honestly if they did, I’d probably just skip them to get to the next shameless exhibitionist scene, so maybe it’s fine the way it is and I’m lying to myself.

The game throws you into this weirdly cozy horror setup that feels like someone mashed a ghost story with a horny family drama and then forgot to clean up the script. You arrive at this old family estate with your aunt, she’s supposed to be all professional and focused on taking photos for the sale, but the whole place just screams “nope”. There’s that vibe like the house is watching, but at the same time your eyes are stuck on your aunt’s tits because the dev made damn sure every camera angle reminds you she’s not your sweet innocent relative from Sunday lunch. The pacing is slow in a good way, like a kinetic novel that wants you to marinate in the tension, sexual and paranormal both. Nothing to click, no grind, you’re basically strapped in and forced to watch this car crash of repressed family stuff, ghost shit, and heavy milf energy. Sometimes it feels too slow, like the engine is idling, but then she bends over to adjust the tripod and the whole scene wakes up.

What really threw me off at first is how the horror and the sex keep stealing scenes from each other. One moment your aunt is joking around about the creaking floors and you kind of relax, next moment there’s a shadow behind her in the hallway and she’s pressing into you, “for safety”, tits squished against your chest, and you’re not thinking about ghosts anymore. The 3dcg is inconsistent, honestly. Some shots of her big ass in tight pants look like they belong in a high-end Patreon build, then another angle hits and her face goes a bit uncanny, but in a way it actually fits the haunted house feeling. There’s this early scene where the power flickers while she’s in the bathroom, she calls you in because “the door is stuck”, and the camera insists on her wet skin, nipples hard, towel barely hanging on, while something in the mirror clearly moves wrong. That mix of “I want to fuck her” and “I should run out of this house” is the core of the game. It’s messy, it’s horny, it’s not subtle, and it doesn’t even try to be.

The incest angle is not teased, it’s just embraced like the dev grew up on the most degenerate fanfics. She talks to you like you’re still the kid she used to babysit, but every touch lingers too long, every joke about “you’ve grown” has this filthy undercurrent. Later, when she can’t sleep and shows up in your room in just a shirt, the game goes full into oral and vaginal territory with that guilty romance tone, like both of you know it’s fucked up and still don’t stop. The paranormal side doesn’t stay in the background either. There are monster girl vibes creeping in, with something in the house that slips into dreams and starts using sex toys on her while you’re forced to watch, or maybe you’re the one imagining it, or maybe the house is. It’s not fully clear, and it kind of works. You get this scene where she’s masturbating in a dark room, thinking you’re asleep, whispering your name, and a second model seems to overlay on her body for a frame or two, like some other female shape is riding her. I thought my player bugged until I replayed it. Still no idea if that was on purpose, but it made the whole paranormal romance thing feel more fanfic than canon, and I liked that. The humor is hit or miss, some lines sound like they were written in Google Translate, but as a non-native myself it actually gave it this weird charm, like reading a horny Wattpad story that found a 3D engine and decided to go wild. It’s clunky, sexy, sometimes stupid, sometimes surprisingly hot, and the house kind of ends up feeling like another jealous character watching you fuck your own aunt in its rooms.

You land in VAM City and it feels like the writer watched a bunch of trashy college anime, paused on the horny scenes and said “yeah, that part, only more raw”. It’s all small spaces that should be boring in real life, but here every place is loaded with sex tension. The park isn’t just trees and benches, it’s where you “accidentally” catch your strict professor teasing some guy on her knees behind a bush while you pretend to look at ducks. The college halls look normal until a girl with perfect porn-logic proportions slams you against a locker, calls you a perv, then makes you hold her books while she grinds that huge ass against your crotch as “punishment”. The vibe is like ecchi comedy that forgot to stop before turning full-on fetish playground.

The whole thing plays like a messy dating sim that grew up on humiliation clips and femdom hentai. You walk around, talk, click, mess up dialog, then suddenly you’re kneeling in the cafe cleaning spilled coffee from the floor with your tongue while the busty barista sits on your back, bored, scrolling Instagram. One wrong answer to her and she’s laughing, pulling your hair, whispering loud enough for everyone to hear how “pathetic” you look with a hard-on. Next scene you’re in a hospital room, supposedly visiting as a “responsible student”, and some smug nurse with ridiculous tits has you stripped to the gown, poking at you, making you do “reflex tests” that are basically edging sessions. She ties your wrists to the bedrails, tells you this is “standard procedure”, and you just nod like an idiot because the blowjob animation hits harder than logic. I like that coins matter, but also kind of hate it. You grind some little jobs, get cash, buy a stupid accessory, and suddenly that same cold girl at school is riding your face in a classroom while calling you her “desk toy”. Then another girl wants nothing, just your pride, and you end stuck in the park bathroom, pants around your ankles, while she records you licking her boots. The game never asks if you’re into voyeur stuff, it just throws you into scenes where people might walk in any second, and sometimes they actually do, and instead of game over you just get roasted harder and turned into part of their dirty joke.

What I like is how the tone keeps flipping. One minute you’re trying to be cool, like a normal harem MC who thinks he’ll charm his way through college. Next minute you’re bent over a table while a girl with big tits and deadpan humor smacks your ass with a ruler for skipping “study time”, then makes you swallow her spit because you talked back. There’s goofy humor everywhere, but it’s the kind of humor that just makes the humiliation kink land stronger. The animated scenes are simple but they know exactly what they are doing: lots of oral focus, lots of angles where you watch her use you rather than you “taking control”. Half the time the camera feels like some invisible creep in the corner, like a built-in voyeur that never blinks. It’s not polished, sometimes the dialog feels like it was written straight into Google Translate at 3% battery, and I kinda enjoy that rough taste. VAM City feels like a bad idea that keeps getting worse in the hottest way, where the college, the park, the cafe, the hospital all become stages for women with big asses and bigger egos to drag the male protagonist through their own personal kink dramas while he pretends he’s still the main character. He isn’t. That’s why it works.

Vacation in this game starts like those boring Instagram stories nobody watches: rain, closed beach, nothing to do, your clothes still in the suitcase. You play this tired detective on forced leave, stuck in a big house with women who are absolutely not dressed like normal people staying at home during a storm. Every time he walks into a room, somebody is half naked, bending over, “accidentally” flashing huge tits or ass, or pretending they don’t know how transparent that towel is. The game kind of laughs at itself about it, which helps. It feels like the dev said, “Yeah, it’s unrealistic, but shut up, look at her tits.” And it works.

The actual flow is more like a lazy sandbox vacation than a mission. You click around the house, poke into rooms you probably shouldn’t, spy a bit through doors that aren’t fully closed, open a wardrobe and instead of clothes find sex toys quietly chilling there. There’s that slightly guilty vibe when you hover the mouse and think “I shouldn’t click this” and then immediately click it anyway. The voyeur stuff hits hard because a lot of scenes are you just catching them in moments: a MILF in the bathroom with one leg on the sink, shaving and playing with herself like it’s the most normal morning routine; the younger one lying on her bed with headphones on, masturbating under the blanket, thinking nobody sees the movement. Your guy just watches, torn between being detective-professional and horny-idiot, and usually the horny-idiot wins. And sometimes the game lets you just keep watching, not jumping straight into intercourse, which makes the payoff later a lot hotter. When things escalate, you go from teasing looks and “oops, you saw me naked” to her on her knees, wet lips wrapped around your cock, then riding you slowly till you finally fill her up, creampie dripping out while she smiles like she planned that from day one. Sometimes there’s a toy involved, sometimes just hands and tongue, but it all keeps that playful, light tone instead of going hardcore edgy. The humor is lowkey dumb in a good way, like he tries to keep his cool while a busty woman in a tiny top bends so close you can almost taste her cleavage, and his inner monologue betrays him completely. I had one scene where I was looking for a clue in a drawer, found a vibrator instead, and three clicks later I was using it on her while rain hit the windows in the background. Honestly, I didn’t even care about the “vacation” part anymore.

Belle feels like that coworker you should never fuck but keep flirting with in Slack anyway, except here she’s already your partner and she somehow found a way to turn a horny impulse buy into a kind of… corporate eldritch experiment. The game starts pretty normal, like you just expect a goofy evening with a naughty redhead and some bad jokes, and then the “little purchase” shows up and things start to grow in very wrong and very right ways. Not tentacles this time, sadly, but her body becomes this shifting altar to your bad decisions. Boobs swelling past what your hands can even handle, her hips stretching your idea of anatomy, your own cock dragged along with it, getting bigger and heavier in a way that actually made me wince and grin at the same time. It’s not realistic at all, but it feels like that sweet spot between fetish and stupid cartoon logic where your brain keeps saying “this is too much” and your dick replies “keep going, I wanna see what breaks first.”

The choices sneak up on you. One second you’re picking a joke response to her teasing in the living room, the next you’re basically negotiating with her like she’s a cheerful cult leader offering you different rituals: do you encourage her to push the growth further, do you worry about the neighbors, do you try to actually keep your mind on work for five seconds. There is this one scene where you’re both technically talking about quarterly numbers and marketing plans, but the only thing that’s actually growing is her chest and your “productivity.” It feels like a parody of office life where PowerPoint is replaced by expanding tits and your KPI is how long you last. And I like how sometimes a simple choice like “compliment her” vs “make a dumb joke” shifts the whole mood of the scene. In one branch she becomes this almost goddess-like figure, towering curves and smug smile, and in another she’s just a giggly partner who can’t believe how huge your cock got and wants to see if it even fits anywhere anymore. I wish the game punished bad choices more, to be honest, like give me a truly horrible ending where the growth goes full cosmic, but it stays pretty light and playful even when your dick looks like it needs its own HR file. Still, there is a moment when she’s part blonde, part redhead look under a weird light, her shadow stretched across the room like some soft monstrous idol, and you’re deciding if you want to worship or run, and that little shiver in your gut feels very close to staring too long at a deep ocean trench on Google Maps. Anyway, the humor is hit and miss and some lines sound like they were written by someone who discovered porn jokes on Reddit, but then Belle leans over, tits way too big for any shirt invented by humans, and casually asks if you want the world to change with her or just your evening, and suddenly every tiny flaw in the writing stops mattering because your lizard brain is busy imagining the whole city full of people growing and laughing and fucking like some cheerful, horny Old One just woke up under the office park.

Game feels like someone smashed a horny VN, a lazy sci-fi series, and a half-assed campus comedy together, then accidentally made it kinda fun. You’re this dude who just wanted to worry about exams and maybe some tits, and suddenly people are talking about erased history, global crisis, “destiny”, all that dramatic crap, while you’re sitting there thinking, “yeah cool, but can I rail the chick in the tight school uniform or what.” And it actually leans into that mood. One moment you’re in a lecture pretending to care, the next you’re in some shady lab corridor with flickering lights, spying on a milf in a white coat bending over a console like the dev knew exactly what angle you were going to zoom in on. The whole vibe is that the world is broken and trying to look serious, but everyone is still horny as fuck and pretending they’re not. Which, honestly, is more realistic than half the “serious” sci-fi games out there.

What really sticks is how often the game lets you be a little shit. You’re in class, professor talking about lost records and post-crisis timelines, and you’re barely listening because there’s a girl two rows ahead with a stupidly tight schoolgirl uniform top, tapping her pen, boobs bouncing a bit each time, and the game keeps cutting your inner monologue between plot and pure thirst. Later, when you finally get alone time with her in some quiet campus room, it doesn’t rush. It does the slow thing: nervous banter, her rolling her eyes at your dumb joke, then she pushes your hand down her chest, guides your dick between those big tits and suddenly the “mission” can fuck off for a minute. The titfuck scene is messy in a good way, like it was written by someone who actually masturbates and not some robot that only read about sex on Reddit. There’s spit, there’s precum smeared on her tongue when she leans down for oral, her trying to keep eye contact and failing, half moaning, half laughing. It’s not elegant. That’s the charm.

The sci-fi part keeps popping up just enough to remind you you’re not only here to blast loads. You’re sneaking around restricted areas, catching glimpses of files about the erased years, and then bam, you accidentally walk in on a mature woman in a semi-military style uniform changing, and it flips into pure voyeur brain. She knows you’re there way too fast though, and instead of screaming, she closes the door with a click, leans on the desk and starts to test how far you’ll go. That first handjob scene with her is filthy in a different way. She treats you like a toy she’s “evaluating”, stroking slow, talking shit in your ear, occasionally glancing at the security cam like she’s deciding if she wants to erase the footage or keep it. When you finally get to fuck her, it doesn’t pretend she’s some shy girl. She pins you, rides you, tells you when to shut up and when to move, and when you cum inside her, the creampie shot is framed almost clinically, which somehow makes it hotter. And the funniest part is the game keeps trying to remind you that everything is “consensual and responsible” while your dick is still out, covered in her juices, and the story is like “anyway, humanity’s fate” and you’re like “bro, she just swallowed, chill.”