Fucking Sarena. I mean, the whole point is getting to Sarena, right? That orange-haired Kalos queen with the ribbon and the eyes that say she's seen your browser history and isn't even mad. The game knows what you're here for. It's not subtle. You click through these puzzles, these weird little sliding tile things or whatever, and every time you solve one, another piece of her clothing just... evaporates. Poof. Like magic but better. The AI-generated art has that slightly glossy, too-smooth look, like someone fed a thousand rule34 posts into a blender and hit frappe. Sometimes her fingers look weird. You won't care.

Ash is there too, I guess. Being Ash. Making that dumb face he makes when he's about to win a badge or walk directly into a Team Rocket trap. The combat, if you can call it that, is just more puzzles. Match some icons, watch a health bar go down, get rewarded with Sarena bending over in a way that defies both anatomy and the laws of physics. The dialogue is pure parody, the kind of stuff you'd read on a forum at 2am and snort at. "I choose you, Pikachu!" but it's not Pikachu he's choosing, if you catch my drift. And then the happy ending. Literally. The description promises it and it delivers, no fakeouts, no "to be continued" bullshit.

The 2D segments mixed with the 3DCG is jarring as hell though. Like someone couldn't decide if they wanted a visual novel or a low-budget hentai cutscene and just said fuck it, both. The romance is about as deep as a puddle but who's here for poetry? You're here to see Sarena's tits and the game knows it. The humor lands maybe half the time, the rest is just... there. But when it hits, when Ash says something so stupidly in-character while Sarena's top is literally vanishing, you'll laugh. You'll feel a little ashamed. You'll click the next puzzle anyway.

Holy Shaft. The name alone, right? Like something you'd doodle on a notebook during a particularly boring lecture. And honestly, that's the energy. This isn't some sprawling RPG epic. It's an elevator. A magic, isekai elevator that apparently judges you. You get in, a floor dings, the doors open, and there's a situation. A girl with a broken toy. A knight who's way too into being reprimanded. The whole thing runs on this wonderfully janky logic where your only tools are a dialogue choice and, eventually, a growing collection of increasingly ridiculous sex toys.

The 3D models have that specific, unpolished look where the skin textures are a bit too shiny, like everyone's been lightly oiled. It's not "stunning visuals" but it has a charm. A specific, horny-on-main charm. The animations are stiff in a way that loops back around to being funny, especially when you pick the "humiliation" route and the character's expression just... freezes in this mask of perpetual shock. There's a spanking scene on, I think, floor 7? The sound effect is so flat and unenthusiastic it's like someone slapping a wet napkin on a counter. I laughed out loud. Then immediately went back to see the other dialogue option.

And that's the thing. It's a simulator of bad decisions. You see a prompt, you know the "right" answer is probably the nice one, but the game dangles the other choice like a cursed piece of candy. What happens if I use the comically large vibrator on the elf who just wanted directions? The multiple endings aren't deep, they're just different flavors of a chaotic mess. You don't play Holy Shaft for a coherent story. You play it to see the elevator ding, see what fresh nonsense awaits, and click the option that makes you snort. The humor is stupid. Deliberately, perfectly stupid. It's a quick, dirty, and surprisingly replayable little disaster.

Melding elf cumdump duty with a dating sim, and somehow it works. Or doesn't. Depends if you're here for the story or the ahegao faces. The setup is peak degeneracy: you're the chosen stud with magic jizz to fix an elven infertility crisis. Meliara, this cold mage with a permanent scowl, basically drafts you as her breeding experiment. First time she gives you a handjob, it's so clinical I laughed. She's measuring your output like a lab sample. Then two scenes later she's bouncing on your cock with those huge tits swinging, eyes rolling back, tongue out. Classic.

The romance path with her is weirdly sweet if you ignore the whole "repopulate the city" framing. Choices matter more than I expected. Tried being a sarcastic asshole and she just magically zapped my balls. Not even kidding. Reloaded, played nice, and got a surprisingly tender scene where she admits she's scared of failing her people. Then immediately rides you raw until you creampie her. The tonal whiplash is the whole point, I think.

Wish there was more monster girl variety beyond the elf milfs. The city of Libon teases other races but you never meet them. Got stuck for twenty minutes trying to trigger Meliara's third scene because I missed a dialogue option during the fertility ritual. Classic VN bullshit. The humor lands though, like when your character complains about chafing and she just deadpans "the curse does not care about your discomfort." Big "task failed successfully" energy. Graphics are 2D but the ahegao expressions are top tier, proper deranged faces. Not for everyone but if you've ever scrolled nhentai at 2 AM looking for elf breeding tags, you already know what you're getting. Just save before every choice and don't be a dick to the mage unless you want blue balls. Literally. She hexed me.

Simon Seiyaz. Even the name sounds like a placeholder the dev forgot to change. You wake up on a spaceship, nine women, saving the universe by sticking your dick in things. It's the plot of every third hentai flash game from 2006 and I'm here for it like a raccoon in a dumpster. The whole thing is a parody that knows it's a parody, winking so hard it might sprain something. The 3DCG models have that specific jank where the tits seem to operate on a different physics engine than the rest of the body, which is honestly perfect for the ahegao expressions. When those faces hit, they hit like a truck full of cartoonishly crossed eyes and drool.

The sci-fi setting is basically a hallway simulator with space windows. Doesn't matter. You're not here for the riveting plot about... what was it? Some mission. The monster girl shows up and I forgot everything else. She's got the teasing down to an art form, the kind of exhibitionism where she knows exactly what she's doing to the male protagonist and the player. The creampie scenes are messy and unapologetic, the way god intended. I do wish the dialogue had more bite though. For a humor tag, it plays things surprisingly straight sometimes, like it forgets it's allowed to be stupid. But then a character will say something so profoundly dumb about "dating in deep space" that I snort and forgive it.

The disjointed pace the description promises is real. Scenes just happen. One minute you're talking, next minute clothes are optional and someone's bent over a console. There's no smooth transition, just horny teleportation. It's like scrolling through a gallery with occasional text boxes. And you know what? Fine. I've played visual novels with better writing that were less honest about what they are. This thing has big tits and zero shame. The exhibitionism scenes on the ship's bridge are a highlight, everyone just going about their day while the protagonist gets... distracted. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

This thing. This goddamn thing. I spent twenty minutes trying to get the camera angle right during the first real scene, not because I was admiring the 3dcg, but because her tit kept clipping through the car door. The aunt character, I mean. You’re stuck at this old family estate because of a wreck on the highway, no phone service, the whole horror setup. And she’s got these massive, physics-defying breasts that the game clearly wants you to focus on, but the collision detection is so busted that half the time her nipple is just phasing into the seatbelt. I was more frustrated than turned on, which is saying something for a title that throws you into a handjob tutorial before you’ve even figured out why the lights are flickering.

The writing is this weird mix of trying to be spooky and then just giving up and letting the monster girl show up. She’s got the big ass, the tentacles, the whole deal. One minute you’re reading about some dusty old photograph, the next your aunt is pulling out a sex toy she found in a drawer and the game just… moves on. No build up. Like, oh, a ghost is moaning, better use this vibrator. The oral sex scenes are janky, the male protagonist’s face is dead-eyed in a way that’s supposed to be horror but just looks like he’s thinking about his taxes. I wish the paranormal bits were actually scary instead of just a backdrop for the next masturbation segment. The incest tag is there, obviously, but it’s handled with all the subtlety of a brick. You just sort of fall into vaginal sex with her because the plot says so.

There’s a part where you’re supposed to be taking photos for the sale, and the exhibitionism tag kicks in, but the camera minigame is so busted I couldn’t tell if I was zooming in on a ghost or a smudge on the lens. The humor is accidental, I think. A door slams, and your character’s reaction is to get a boner. Top 3 moments you’ll want to screenshot? The aunt’s model T-posing during a supposedly erotic reveal, the monster girl’s texture stretching across the entire hallway, and the one time the dialogue box just said “ERROR: ROMANCE NOT FOUND” before crashing my browser tab. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

You know that feeling when a game is so janky it circles back around to being honest? VAM City is that. It's a sandbox dating thing set in a college town, but calling it a dating sim is generous. It's more like a humiliation delivery system with a map screen. The 3DCG models have that specific stiffness, like dolls that learned to move from a medical textbook. The big tits and big ass are there, sure, but they're rendered with this dead eyed seriousness that makes the femdom scenes hit different.

I spent twenty minutes grinding coins at the cafe minigame just to buy a cheap bracelet. Gave it to the nurse character at the hospital. She looked at it, looked at me, and the next scene was her making me crawl around the examination room while she talked about how pathetic my gift was. The animation looped twice. I was hard. The game doesn't have a proper save system yet, or at least I couldn't find it, so that moment is just... gone. A ghost in the machine. That's the real sad ending, the one the dev didn't code but is there anyway. The voyeurism tag comes from a park scene where you can just watch a couple, and the humiliation isn't always sexual. Sometimes a woman in the school setting just tells you your grades are shit and you stand there. No sex. Just a verbal beatdown. Then you go back to the cafe to make more coins.

The humor is accidental, I think. Or maybe not. There's a hospital scene involving oral sex where the character's head clips through the bed and it looked so absurd I laughed, which then made me feel weird because the dialogue was all about how worthless I was. The fetish content is blunt. No romance, no pretense. Just "here is a dominant woman, she will use you, now go earn coins to unlock the next one." If you want to get the most out of every spicy moment, don't grind for the expensive items. The cheap stuff triggers the meanest dialogue. The dev said it's early stages and it shows, but that rawness is the whole point. It's a game about being beneath someone, and the unfinished code makes you feel that in your bones.

Vacation in this game starts like those boring Instagram stories nobody watches: rain, closed beach, nothing to do, your clothes still in the suitcase. You play this tired detective on forced leave, stuck in a big house with women who are absolutely not dressed like normal people staying at home during a storm. Every time he walks into a room, somebody is half naked, bending over, “accidentally” flashing huge tits or ass, or pretending they don’t know how transparent that towel is. The game kind of laughs at itself about it, which helps. It feels like the dev said, “Yeah, it’s unrealistic, but shut up, look at her tits.” And it works.

The actual flow is more like a lazy sandbox vacation than a mission. You click around the house, poke into rooms you probably shouldn’t, spy a bit through doors that aren’t fully closed, open a wardrobe and instead of clothes find sex toys quietly chilling there. There’s that slightly guilty vibe when you hover the mouse and think “I shouldn’t click this” and then immediately click it anyway. The voyeur stuff hits hard because a lot of scenes are you just catching them in moments: a MILF in the bathroom with one leg on the sink, shaving and playing with herself like it’s the most normal morning routine; the younger one lying on her bed with headphones on, masturbating under the blanket, thinking nobody sees the movement. Your guy just watches, torn between being detective-professional and horny-idiot, and usually the horny-idiot wins. And sometimes the game lets you just keep watching, not jumping straight into intercourse, which makes the payoff later a lot hotter. When things escalate, you go from teasing looks and “oops, you saw me naked” to her on her knees, wet lips wrapped around your cock, then riding you slowly till you finally fill her up, creampie dripping out while she smiles like she planned that from day one. Sometimes there’s a toy involved, sometimes just hands and tongue, but it all keeps that playful, light tone instead of going hardcore edgy. The humor is lowkey dumb in a good way, like he tries to keep his cool while a busty woman in a tiny top bends so close you can almost taste her cleavage, and his inner monologue betrays him completely. I had one scene where I was looking for a clue in a drawer, found a vibrator instead, and three clicks later I was using it on her while rain hit the windows in the background. Honestly, I didn’t even care about the “vacation” part anymore.

Belle's tits are already bigger than her head when she walks in with that stupid grin and a receipt for something called "Grow-a-Girl." My coffee's gone cold. The office window behind her shows the same gray sky as always, but she's vibrating like she just mainlined three espressos and a line of something questionable. I click through the dialogue options like I'm actually choosing, but we both know where this is going. The game knows too. That's the thing about this VN Maker joint, it winks at you while you pretend you're in control.

The redhead from accounting shows up at some point. Don't remember inviting her. Don't remember a lot of things once Belle starts messing with the dosage. There's a slider. A fucking slider. And she just. Keeps. Sliding. The 3DCG models aren't winning any awards, got that slightly plastic sheen like a knockoff action figure left in a hot car, but the way they stretch and swell has this hypnotic quality. Like watching bread rise if bread was horny and also your business partner who definitely shouldn't be testing experimental growth serums on company property. The humor lands somewhere between a shitpost and a genuine kink exploration, which is a weird space to occupy but here we are.

Wish there was more to do with the coworker. She just sort of appears, does her thing, and the narrative forgets she exists for long stretches. Classic VN Maker limitation probably, but still. The transformation sequences though. Belle going from "cute office partner" to "how does her spine work" is rendered with this almost clinical attention to proportion that I can't look away from. The male protagonist is just a dick with a viewpoint, literally and figuratively, but that's not really a complaint. Sometimes you want a choose your own adventure where the adventure is watching your mischievous blonde partner accidentally or "accidentally" rewrite the laws of physics through sheer tit expansion. The fantasy tag is doing some heavy lifting but the game knows it's ridiculous and leans in.

The whole mind control thing in the description is a lie, or at least it never shows up where it counts. That disclaimer about consent being real important? Yeah they mean it, which is weirdly refreshing for a game with ahegao faces and creampies. You play this dude who just got into university, world's still kinda broken from some crisis, and suddenly you're on a dangerous mission. Standard setup really.

The 3DCG models have that particular stiffness you get with these games, but the uniform designs are actually decent. Schoolgirl outfits with the skirts that defy physics, you know the deal. There's this one milf character who shows up in the sci-fi sections, and her titfuck scene has some genuinely funny dialogue mixed in. Like the protagonist is trying to be smooth and just completely fumbles it. The humor tag isn't lying, I actually snorted at a couple lines during a handjob sequence which feels wrong to admit. The voyeurism stuff is mostly optional, catching glimpses through doorways and that sort of thing, but it never gets creepy about it which I appreciate.

The fantasy elements clash with the sci-fi bits in a way that doesn't quite work. One minute you're dealing with some high-tech facility, next there's magic or destiny or whatever. The game doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. Oral sex scenes are animated better than the vaginal ones, which is backwards from most games in this space. More frames in the mouth stuff, the creampie finishes feel rushed. Also the male protagonist has this one expression during every single scene and it started bothering me way more than it should. Same slightly surprised look whether he's getting a handjob or discovering ancient secrets. Fix your face, man.