This thing pretends to be some big space opera, but it feels more like a horny guy got lost between Mass Effect and a bad hentai doujin and just went “yeah ok, I live here now”. You play a bounty hunter flying around the galaxy, hunting “dangerous women” who just happen to all be hot, stacked and very allergic to clothes. It starts pretty normal: small mission brief, you land on some weird alien station, there is a milf elf captain who already looks like she wants to ride you instead of arrest you. One dialog choice later, you are pinning her to the command table, and the “space justice” is literally you fucking her until her makeup is ruined and she is begging you to cum inside. Story “progression” is usually: find target, argue a bit, she underestimates you, then it is blowjob, rough sex, creampie, some quick joke, next system. Very subtle like a sledgehammer, but it weirdly works.

What I liked is how touch control actually feels natural for fapping, not like some Ren’Py game where you just tap next and pray the text auto goes faster. Here you are dragging dialogue choices with your thumb while your other hand is kind of busy, sliding up to speed through boring lines, tapping small icons to switch from oral to vaginal, or to push her head deeper on your cock when she is “pretending” to resist. There is this scene with an AI-driven ship interface, looks like some hologram milf with glowing tattoos, where you can just keep forcing her to “optimize your stress levels” by sucking you off in different camera angles, and the game lets you loop that instead of pushing you forward. I kept replaying that one with screen rotation off on my phone so I can jerk with the other hand. It plays nice on touch like FapNinja or Nutaku’s browser games, but this one is more direct, less grind, more “here is a monster girl with three tongues, figure out where to put your dick”.

Humor hits and misses. Sometimes it is pretty funny, like when some elf milf crime boss talks big about honor, then two lines later she is riding you, screaming that she is your property and that you better fill her up or she will kill you. Other times the jokes feel like someone watched too much Marvel and tried to copy that, and you just want them to shut up and get back on their knees. There is light parody of all the usual sci fi: you get star fleets, some evil federation, dumb AI assistants who act like they are above everything while literally simulating pussy for you. The hentai logic is strong: every enemy milf, monster girl, alien queen, they all secretly want your cock, and the “male domination” vibe is full on. You grab hair, you make them choke on it, you decide if you cum on their face or deep in their pussy and watch the creampie drip. Sometimes there is a bit of masturbation scene where the “evil” woman pretends she hates you but she is rubbing herself watching you, and you get this stupid grin because it is so trashy but also hot. It is not deep, and sometimes the dialog feels like it was written on a phone in a bus, but when you are lying on your bed with one hand scrolling and one hand stroking, it kind of hits exactly the dirty brain level it aims for.

Guy gets fried by lightning on the way from his boring office job and wakes up as the new dark overlord. Sounds badass, right? It actually feels more like getting dumped into horny hell with a to-do list. You’ve got a demon castle, a bunch of monster girls who either want to serve you, ruin you, or sit on your face, and a curse inside your body that randomly flares up like the worst horny migraine ever. One moment you’re checking resource numbers and troop morale, next second your vision goes blurry, your body heats up, and you’re pinning a monster girl to the wall, pounding her while she’s got that full ahegao face, drool hanging, tongue out, eyes rolled. The game doesn’t fade to black, it goes all in. Animated sex scenes, hips actually moving, tits bouncing, ropes tightening, soft moans turning into straight up screaming when you decide to go rough. I keep pausing to capture the best frames into GIFs, then going back because I miss whole animations. It’s stupid how many times I rewound one anal scene with a slimy tentacle girl wrapping around the hero like a hentai octopus hug.

What I didn’t expect is how the management and rpg stuff keeps baiting you into lewd trouble. You open the map just to plan some combat, then some “innocent” patrol report pops up with a busty orc girl who “failed her mission” and now needs punishment. You can humiliate her in the throne room, bend her over the steps, slap that big ass until it jiggles, then decide if you’re fucking her like a toy in front of frightened underlings or actually comforting her with slower vaginal sex. Both still end with her broken, panting, eyes blank. Or that virgin elf mage you recruit, acting all pure and holy, but the first time the curse really bites you in front of her, you lose control, shove her against a bookshelf, tear her clothes and fuck her until she’s drooling and begging you to corrupt her more. She goes from “please, dark lord, control yourself” to “don’t stop, use my mouth too” really fast. There is some light combat, yeah, you smack monsters around, get loot, level up, but it mostly just feels like foreplay to unlock new positions, toys, and kinks. The bdsm scenes surprised me. Ropes look tight, skin goes a little red if you keep spanking, chains rattle when she tries to squirm away, and there’s this humiliation angle where you make monster girls lick your boots first, then your cock right after. It hits that fantasy of being absolute bastard overlord, even though the guy is still kind of clueless office worker inside, panicking in his own thoughts while his body is happily choking a girl with his dick. Honestly, the small UI sounds are too loud on mobile and it annoys me every damn time I adjust volume, but then the next scene has a monster girl choking on your cock with tears in her eyes and you kinda forget everything.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.