Look, I'm gonna be straight with you - this Bleach parody caught me completely off guard. Started playing during my lunch break thinking it'd be some quick anime fan service, but damn if it didn't pull me in deeper than expected. The whole "spiritual power through intimacy" thing sounds cheesy as hell on paper, but somehow it works? Like, you're this trainee trying to get stronger and whoops, turns out getting frisky with the ladies is literally your training regimen. The AI-generated art isn't gonna win any awards but honestly, when Yoruichi's giving you that look while you're fumbling through dialogue options... yeah, it does the job just fine.

What really got me hooked was how different each girl feels to interact with. Rukia's got this whole tsundere thing going but with actual depth behind it, not just the usual "b-baka" nonsense. Orihime's sweetness hits different when you realize she's way more aware of what's happening than she lets on. And Tatsuki? Holy shit, that girl will wreck you in the best possible way. The footjob scenes with her are *chef's kiss* - whoever programmed that knew exactly what they were doing. Though I gotta say, the mobile optimization is kinda wonky sometimes. Had the game freeze right in the middle of a particularly good titfuck scene and nearly threw my phone across the room.

The sandbox elements let you actually build relationships instead of just clicking through to the next sex scene, which is refreshing. You can grope and tease but there's actual consequences - push too hard too fast and the girls will shut you down. Found that out the hard way with Chizuru, thought I could just steamroll into the good stuff but nope, had to actually put in work. The oral sex animations are surprisingly detailed for what looks like a quick cash-grab game. Sure, it's not gonna revolutionize adult gaming or anything, but when you need something that hits those specific Bleach fantasies while actually having decent pacing? This'll scratch that itch real good.

You’re playing this regular dude who thinks his life is boring as shit, scrolling Telegram and TikTok, jerking off to the same trash porn, going to work, coming back, repeat. Then these new neighbors show up, all smiles and weird vibes, and it’s like the whole building suddenly got horny and cursed at the same time. They’re hot, but in that “something’s wrong here” way, like you open the door and your brain goes, yeah, I’m fucked. Not because they’re dangerous. Because you *know* you’re gonna do stupid things for pussy. And the game lets you. It doesn’t rush anything though. First contact is all teasing, light touches, accidental gropes, that kind of thing, and you can already feel the corruption hooks going in. There’s this moment where one of the “normal” MILFs from your daily routine suddenly starts wearing this tight top after your first little spell goes off, tits pressed together like they’re trying to escape, and she leans in your car window to ask a basic question, but the camera just stays on her cleavage like the game is laughing at you. I had to alt-tab out of sheer frustration, check Discord, then come back and immediately try to push the corruption harder. Self control gone.

The sandbox part actually feels like a horny to‑do list, which sounds bad, but is fun as hell. You’re bouncing around locations, checking who’s around, who’s ready for the next “upgrade,” who still needs more nudging, who you wanna break mentally first. One girl goes slowly from shy and flat to this curvy monster girl with thick thighs and ridiculous boobs, and it’s not just a switch; you see stages. First she lets you “accidentally” grope her, then she pretends to be angry, then she’s sitting on your lap, kind of grinding while talking about something that doesn’t even matter. At some point you’re deciding if you want them more bimbo, more twisted, more obedient, and the game just lets you stack the harem like a fucked up Pokémon collection, except half of them call you something they really shouldn’t be calling you in bed. The group scenes sneak up on you too. You line up events wrong and suddenly you’re in a room where two of your “projects” show up together, and instead of drama, they’re just sharing your cock like it’s no big deal, one riding your face while the other takes it deep and then asking you which body you like more. There’s anal, oral, tits wrapped around you, messy creampies where you watch your cum drip out while the girl’s eyes are just gone, totally taken by your magic and control. It feels nasty and powerful and also kind of fucked, which is exactly why I kept clicking for “one more scene” long after I said I’d stop.

HeartProblems looks like one of those games you open just to “check it for five minutes” and then suddenly you’re clicking through scenes like a horny raccoon searching in the trash. On the surface it’s the usual porn VN setup: young guy, dead parents, moves in with uncle, house full of women that absolutely should not be as hot as they are. Milf energy in the kitchen, stacked bodies, tight clothes, that kind of slow-burn teasing where nothing “really” happens at first but your brain is already writing fanfic. Feels a bit like when you open X and see one “harmless” clip, then the algorithm decides you’re never seeing normal content again.

What sells it for me is how dirty it gets while pretending to be wholesome. You start as this awkward dude just walking around the house, talking, doing little choices that look innocent: help with the laundry, watch TV together on the couch, massage a sore back. The game loves to put you in those “accidental” skin contact situations. Hand brushing over that thick ass when you squeeze past in the hallway. Waking up with her on the sofa, your face basically in her tits, and she acts annoyed but does not move away. Corruption here is not some instant switch, it’s death by a thousand horny cuts. One day she slaps your hand for groping, later she just sighs, later she pretends not to notice, and then suddenly her leg is opening a bit more when you sit down. I caught myself saving before every dialogue just to try the slightly more perverted line and see if I can push one step further without getting shut down.

The 3D style is a bit uneven, which somehow fits. Some scenes look like they belong in a premium Patreon post, others feel like they were rendered while the dev was alt-tabbing to Telegram. Tits are huge, unapologetically so, bouncing and squeezed into outfits that clearly lost the fight with gravity. Asses too, like, “there is no way this character can find jeans in her size” big. Sometimes the proportions feel almost too much, but that might be exactly why it works. It reminds me of those cursed TikToks where the filter stretches everything and yet people in comments still type “link?” The humiliation angle hits when the MC gets caught peeking, or when one of them talks to him like he’s still a kid while his dick is obviously reacting in the shot. There’s a really fun scene where you get caught staring at her cleavage at breakfast, and the way she leans forward, half mocking you, half secretly enjoying your discomfort, is actually hotter than the later explicit stuff. And the mobile build is nice; playing this in bed with brightness low like some shameful little goblin feels exactly right. It’s weird, messy, sometimes clunky, and that’s kind of perfect for what it is.

Lily’s manor feels less like a “setting” and more like some horny group chat that accidentally turned into a religion. You’re this smug futa noble with a holy title slapped on top, walking around a house full of maids who have somehow decided your cock is basically divine scripture. It starts simple. You wander the halls, poke your nose into rooms you probably shouldn’t, talk shit, choose some dialogue, watch the girls react. One maid gets flustered when you tease her about praying for your “blessing” and two scenes later she’s on her knees giving that “blessing” the slowest, sloppiest oral in front of an altar like that’s totally normal. It’s half sex game, half “what if Catholic guilt but everyone actually likes it”.

The wild thing is how casual the corruption hits. First, you think: okay, cute nun outfit on this maid, standard stuff. Then you notice how the game keeps pushing that religious angle. Confessions that turn into handjobs. A “purity test” that is literally just Lily ordering a virgin maid to strip and bend over because “we must check for temptation.” There’s a nice little management loop hiding under all the lewd too. You assign maids to duties, pick who goes to the dungeon with you, who stays home, who you “reward” after a long day. Dungeon runs are just classic turn based fights, nothing fancy, but the context makes them funny. You’re beating up monster girls, then five minutes later you’re fucking them into your harem like it’s part of their onboarding process. One slime girl scene caught me off guard: she tries to drown Lily, combat ends, then the game calmly flips straight to Lily balls deep in her while we get that internal view, little animated pulse, and you just sit there like “yeah, that escalated fast.”

I kept telling myself I would focus on one girl, stay loyal, see her whole arc. That lasted until the older maid with the big ass and fake “I’m too mature for this” attitude walked in with a tray and Lily just ordered her to suck her off under the table during a serious talk about “faith.” The game loves that mix of silly and fucked up. There’s ***-ish stuff, some straight up harassment, and then it cracks a joke about house rules in the same scene. You’ll have a futa on futa titfuck against a stained glass backdrop like some kind of cursed church poster, then next room is a shy girl masturbating with a sex toy she “borrowed from storage” and trying not to get caught. Multiple protagonists pop in too, which is weird at first. Suddenly you’re not Lily, you’re one of the maids sneaking into Lily’s room to taste the “holy seed” while she sleeps, and the game just rolls with it. Group scenes get messy fast, creampies everywhere, nuns losing their faith between Lily’s legs, monster girls joining the dogpile, some lesbian side route that pretends Lily isn’t watching from the doorway. It’s all very animated in a way that makes you feel like the manor is alive and kind of sick in the head. My only real complaint is that one door near the chapel that makes the same annoying sound effect every time you click it, but I still kept coming back to it, hoping there was a scene hidden behind it where Lily corrupts the last stubborn virgin and crowns herself “Saint of Bad Decisions” or something.

Guy shows up in the capital with one braincell goal: “I want to stop jerking off alone.” That’s it. No grand plan, no deep life purpose, just horny ambition and a packed underwear situation. Then game looks at him and says “cute, but no” and throws this smoking hot mystery woman in his way who basically speedruns his whole life into a weird sex RPG. It feels like the universe matched him with a chaotic cougar dungeon master on Tinder and he clicked “accept” without reading the profile.

The funny part is how it keeps pretending to be a serious fantasy quest while you’re literally peeking through keyholes to see bored wives doing self-care with toys because their husbands are away "at war" or whatever excuse. One moment I was trying to min-max charisma to unlock some noble lady route, next moment I’m in a barn, hand halfway up some stacked farmer’s wife’s dress, trying to hit a “don’t get caught” prompt while a cow looks at me like I’m the weird one. The game loves these tiny point & click puzzles where the reward is “you get to touch her tits” instead of gold, and somehow that works. Sometimes you just click everything on the screen like a monkey until you find the one thing that lets you progress to the next sex scene. I hate that. I also did it happily for an hour straight.

It feels like someone mashed an old-school dating sim with a horny fantasy DnD campaign and then forgot to balance anything. You think you’re doing smart choices, planning routes, managing affection like some romance spreadsheet in Google Sheets, and then a random milf with her tits almost falling out just leans over a table and suddenly all your planning becomes “ok I click the lewd option, who cares about consequences.” I tried to be a gentleman at first, then the game starts throwing masturbation scenes at you where your character is literally jerking it while spying through a window, and at that point my moral high ground just packed its bags and left. The animated bits are surprisingly expressive, like, you really feel when a hand slides under cloth or when someone gets groped in a dark hallway and gasps just a bit too loud. Sometimes I wished the sandbox stuff had more teeth, more risk, more people getting actually mad at me. It probably never will, and fine, I keep touching everything anyway. The humor is stupid and horny in that “I shouldn’t laugh but I do” way, like a cursed Discord server meme with boobs. Half the time I forgot what the main quest even is, because every side path is another frustrated woman, some magical creature with nice hips, and my idiot hero thinking with his dick and still, somehow, stumbling closer to being a legend instead of a public nuisance.

El Presidente in an all girls reform camp sounds like the start of a shitpost on r/greentext, but here it actually turns into a horny fantasy adventure that kind of spirals out of control in a fun way. You begin as this smug guy who clearly thinks he’s way smarter than the system, gets dumped in a camp full of “troubled” girls, and then slowly realizes the weirdest thing there is not the girls acting out, but the stuff that lives behind the trees and the strange symbols carved into random places. At first it plays like a goofy summer camp sandbox: you sneak around, peek through windows, “accidentally” bump into a counselor in the showers, do the usual route-minmax routine while tracking affection values in your head like some degenerate Excel sheet. Then, just when you think it’s all about tits and asses and groping scenes, the monster girl angle kicks in and the story suddenly has this nerdy fantasy layer with arcane writing and old secrets hidden under all the horny teasing.

Erotically, it leans hard into slow build and playful humiliation in a good way. You get a lot of scenes where you are half in control, half just swept into the girls’ chaos. A big part of the fun is that many of them know exactly what you’re trying to do. You sneak up to a cabin window at night thinking “ok, free voyeur content” and then one girl just pulls the curtains aside and stares right back at you, topless, smirking, like she was waiting for you the whole time. Or you try some awkward groping move during a “mandatory trust exercise” and the game lets you fumble with her huge ass, then writes it like she lets you go a bit too far but still calls you out in front of everyone the next day. It mixes that humiliation with reward, so you’re blushing and horny at same time, which is basically the core fetish loop here. The big tits and big asses are not just there as decoration, they are written into the scenes, like when a girl uses her chest to pin you against a tree while “interrogating” you about a monster sighting, or a monster girl wraps you in tentacles in a way that somehow focuses very carefully on your crotch and her curves instead of just being slime porn.

What caught me off guard is how much there is to poke at. The sandbox setup actually lets you do the classic “ok, what if I only talk to this one character for a week” experiment. I used a literal Google Sheet to track which camp events trigger in the evening depending on where I spent the afternoon, and there are branching bits that only show if you stack certain flags in a weird order, like spying on a specific cabin multiple times before helping with a search patrol. One night event had me sneaking through the forest after a rumor about a glowing figure. I expected cheap jumpscare and a quick H-scene. Instead, I ended up translating part of a strange language scribbled on a rock while a half-naked monster girl watched from a tree, tail swaying, waiting for me to fuck up the chant. The game lets you fail that on purpose, and if you do, the punishment is lewd as hell, very teasing, lots of touching, almost no actual “finish”, and somehow that blueballs feeling fits the character’s arc perfectly. There are animated loops sprinkled in that give life to the groping, hips grinding, tits bouncing, not Hollywood-level animation but dirty enough that you stop noticing flaws after a minute. Comedy hits hard too: one scene had me cornered in the mess hall, forced to explain why my “map of the camp” looked suspiciously like a chart of shower schedules, and I actually laughed while also thinking “ok, this is a little too close to how I play these games.” The only thing that annoyed me a bit is that some routes feel hidden in a weird way, like you need to click a random background prop on Wednesday afternoon or you miss a whole teasing sequence, but I guess that also keeps the place feeling like an actual camp with secrets, not just a straight porn corridor. I came for the dumb premise, stayed because suddenly I was calculating optimal paths to see if I could unlock the monster girl route without losing access to that one scene where the counselor rides your lap during a “meditation session” and pretends it’s completely professional.

This one feels like somebody grabbed the old Hogwarts trainer thing, threw a bunch of filthy mods in a cauldron, shook it, forgot to stir properly, then accidentally created something that is half disaster, half “holy shit I need to replay that scene with the sound on max.” It is messy, yeah, but in a good, horny way. You’re this male protagonist pretending to be all serious and academic while you basically run an underground sex management project around the school. Classes are just an excuse to push girls into new “tasks,” and every time you think you saw all the kinks, the game drops some weird potion or outfit that changes the whole vibe of a scene. One time I clicked the wrong dialogue option with Hermione, thought I’d get another cheap handjob loop, and suddenly she’s in this humiliation path where she has to strip in front of a crowd and the crowd noise sounds like someone recorded a Twitch chat in heat, all layered whispers and low laughs. The way the moans sit on top of that is surprisingly well mixed, not too loud, like they actually thought about it. Then the next scene, same girl, the slapping sound on her ass is like it was recorded with a potato, totally different quality. It’s charming and annoying at same time.

What the game does best is this mix of corruption and voyeur stuff with very specific girls. Like Luna, for example. Her scenes have this floaty, airy soundtrack behind them, almost too soft, so when the groping starts and she’s being pushed into exhibitionism, the tiny gasp sounds feel extra sharp. There’s a bit where you use a potion, her tits swell up, and she’s lactating on the staircase while students “walk by” off screen. You don’t see them, but you hear these faint footsteps and the dull murmur of people trying not to look. That tiny background murmur? That shit stuck in my head more than the actual titfuck. In another path I had Tonks accidentally slip into a futa form while cosplaying a student, and the first time she pulls out her cock the game hits you with this sticky, squelchy sound that you usually only hear in cheap hentai games, but here it kinda works because everything else is already dirty. Then thirty seconds later a blowjob scene kicks in and the wet mouth audio loops slightly off beat with the animation and I couldn’t unhear it anymore. Suddenly I’m not thinking “hot” but “can someone please trim that loop in Audacity.” By the way, the tentacle scenes are strangely quiet. You’d expect gross slime sound, right? But instead there’s more focus on the girl’s breathing and the cuffs clinking, very ASMR. I replayed one Luna tentacle scene just to listen how the pitch of her moans rises when the text mentions a new tendril inside her ass. Whoever synced that did it by hand, I’m almost sure, because it goes slightly out of sync if you click too fast through the dialogue.

The group sex events get wild in theory, with mind control and blackmail pushing girls who would never agree into this pile of bodies in some hidden classroom, but sound wise they’re kind of a mess. Too many moans at same time, no clear layering, sometimes Hermione and Cho share the same voice sample so you hear the same little whimper coming from two sides of the screen. It’s funny once, then you start noticing it everywhere. On the other hand, the simple masturbation scenes where you peek from a keyhole or from behind a statue are weirdly intimate. Just one girl, some rustle of clothing, fingers sliding over skin, the creak of an old bed in the dorm, and the occasional little frustrated sigh when she can’t cum yet because the corruption value is not high enough. That small detail of the bed creak, actually, reminded me of an old RPGMaker porn thing I played on Newgrounds, where the only good asset was the sound of the wooden floor. Same energy here. The game has this “evolving outfits” idea where the same uniform slowly turns more slutty as you push them further, and it affects not only visuals but also the little cloth sounds and jewelry jingles. Spanking someone in a plain robe sounds dull and flat, do it again when she’s basically in a harness and stockings and suddenly you hear the slap, the buckle rattle, the tiny ring on her nipple bouncing. No idea if that was intentional, but I noticed. There are things that straight up feel unfinished, like some anal scenes with Susan that have no proper sound at all, just generic loop, but then you’ll hit a lesbian scene in the showers where the echo of their voices against the tiles is so nice I actually paused my Spotify to hear it clean. It’s that kind of game. Half broken, half genius, and somehow the sound makes the dirtiest parts feel even more wrong in a very good way.

This thing feels like somebody took that whole “dollification” fetish, threw it into Blender and Stable Diffusion, shook the bottle, and never really checked the recipe after. You start as this pretty average dude, nothing special, kind of a background NPC energy, and suddenly you’re surrounded by girls who look like the algorithm has been told “more tits, more ass, more lips, more everything” on a loop. There’s no slow build, no long romance arcs, it’s like walking into a nightclub where the only dress code is “be fuckable” and the lights are permanently set to horny. The bimbo vibe is not just visual, it’s in how scenes are written: they talk like their brain is getting overwritten in real time by your cock and by whatever tech is driving the whole “doll verse” thing. The bodies are cartoon-level stacked, huge round tits that sit high like they’re inflated from the inside, asses that barely fit into the frame, and the camera knows it, keeps sliding down, catching jiggle and tight fabric and those stupidly thin thongs that exist only to be pulled aside.

At some point I realized I was ignoring half the story bits and just clicking forward to see how far the corruption goes. One scene hit me harder than I expected: you’re in this fake-clinical room, like a beauty lab designed by someone who watched too much porn, and the girl is on the chair talking almost normal at first. Lights scan her skin, some AI “enhancement” program runs, and the interface keeps saying stuff like “optimizing obedience” and “sexual output increased.” She’s looking at you, trying to hold onto her old self, then her voice gets softer, words shorter, tits literally bigger a few screen transitions later, her eyes a little emptier, and still she begs you to tell her she looks pretty. Philosophically, it’s super fucked and super hot at the same time. On one level, it is just fetish fluff for people who want big plastic-barbie sluts drooling over their dick. On another, it nails how desire in the digital age tries to flatten women into presets: big tits, big ass, simple thoughts, always “yes.” Of course, I say “nails” like it was planned; it might just be horny chaos that accidentally feels deep when you’re tired and half naked. I kept thinking of Nietzsche and then immediately thinking of how good her nipples looked in that latex harness. No healthy brain should have those two thoughts back-to-back, but here we are.

What actually surprised me most, weirdly, was a small browsing moment. You’re in this selection screen of dolls, like an unholy mix of Pornhub categories and character creation in a RPG, and you can zoom on different parts. I spent way too long just rotating the view around one girl’s ass, trying to decide if the curve was “artificial” enough. The texture has this uncanny quality, a bit too smooth, like AI tried to guess what perfect skin is and overshot it. It made me think about how porn is drifting away from real bodies into this fantasy of “AI generated flesh” that nobody has but everyone clicks on. I complain in my head about the weird hands and slightly off eyes, yet I still keep going, because when she kneels and the screen drops behind her to isolate the movement of her hips on your lap, none of that matters. It’s trashy, it’s overblown, sometimes the writing trips on itself trying to be edgy and just sounds dumb, and one of the early dialogue choices made me roll my eyes so hard I had to alt-tab to Telegram for a minute just to reset my brain. Then you come back, the next scene opens with her in a too-tight crop top, tits almost falling out while she calls you “master” like it’s the only word left in her vocabulary, and all your high-minded critique dissolves into “ok yeah, click next, I need to see where this goes.” The game is full of that clash: horny now, think later, or maybe never.

You start as this kinda clueless guy who just wants some easy cash delivering pizza, and suddenly you’re knee deep in a beach resort that feels like it was designed by a horny god with zero HR rules. The whole thing plays like a goofy visual novel that keeps tripping over its own jokes, then somehow landing face first in some really filthy scenes. One second you’re checking a delivery address in a half-busted menu, next second the door opens and there’s a stacked blonde in a bikini top that can’t decide if it’s clothing or suggestion. The game doesn’t even pretend to be serious. You get into these dialogues where you try to sound professional while staring at gigantic tits that basically have their own gravity, and half your choices feel like: “Be polite” or “Accidentally flirt like a horny idiot.” And both usually lead to trouble, just different flavors of it.

What I liked is how they use the “pizza boy” thing as an excuse to throw you into all kinds of weird situations. Like, there’s this delivery to the green haired girl at the pool, and the scene starts normal, just small talk about the order, some dumb jokes about extra cheese, whatever. Then she stretches on the deck chair, her bikini bottom rides up, you get a close-up cg that is absolutely not subtle, and you suddenly notice this small dialogue branch that was easy to miss. If you pick it, she starts teasing you about tips. Not money tips. The tension ramps up quick. The writing is still trying to be funny, but the cg is already full hentai mode, uncensored, skin shining like she’s been soaked in sunscreen for an hour. I had that moment of “ok this is stupid” while at the same time scrolling back to check if there was a way to push the scene even further. Spoiler: there kinda is, but you need to be a bit of an asshole earlier with another girl at the beach bar, which I found by accident. Totally not replay-safe if you pretend to be a good guy all the time.

Then there is the scientist. She shows up like the game took a wrong turn out of Pornhub and fell into some cheap sci fi parody. Lab coat barely closed, tattoos poking from underneath, talking about “testing new code” in the resort system and acting like your dick is part of the experiment. There are bugged text boxes sometimes, stuff flickers, and instead of fixing it she sort of leans into it and starts breaking the fourth wall in this teasing way. She literally blames “code bugs” for why her top keeps disappearing in the cg gallery, like it is a glitch and not that the artist just wanted her naked in every variant. You get this optional scene where she asks you to deliver “special pizza” to her lab at night, and the whole route goes from light comedy to full hentai lab fantasy. Restraints, scanners, her sitting on your lap pretending she is calibrating something, and your choices change tiny details in the cg: glasses on or off, open coat, how rough it gets. It’s not super deep, but it felt more playful than most jam stuff I’ve seen.

The resort itself is full of beach clichés, in a good trashy way. Redhead lifeguard with a body that looks like it violates health and safety, fake wholesome smile, then you notice the way the camera angle keeps dropping to her chest when she “checks your pulse.” There’s a scene where she pretends you might be dehydrated and drags you to the shade. Absolutely no medical training in that scene, just wet lips, tan lines, and an excuse to slide her hand too low when she is “making sure your heart is fine.” The game lets you pick if you play along or try to act innocent, but both paths are horny, just with different banter. The humor is actually not terrible. It’s dumb, meme-ish, full of throwaway lines about late orders and bad mobile data, like someone wrote it while doomscrolling Twitter and watching hentai at the same time. My only real complaint is that sometimes it feels like the choices tease something big and then you just get the same cg with one line changed, but maybe that fits this whole lazy resort mood.

Some of the best bits are smaller things that almost feel like inside jokes for people who crawl adult VN sites too much. There’s a moment where a blonde customer says “don’t worry, I’m legal, this isn’t that kind of game” and then immediately asks you to help rub lotion into places the camera very clearly wants to focus on. Another time, a text popup bugs out and repeats three times, and instead of hiding it they let the scientist comment on how your “route flag is stuck” while her hand slowly moves offscreen on your body in the cg. Stuff like that makes it feel like everyone involved knew exactly what type of trashy, horny beach story they were making and just ran with it. It’s rough, sometimes clumsy, a bit all over the place, and the girls are drawn with that exaggerated hentai logic where every boob looks heavier than your whole torso. But when you are in the middle of a scene, watching sweat drip between giant tits while you’re still holding a pizza box in the corner of the frame, it kind of just clicks. You’re not here for perfect pacing. You’re here because a part-time job at a resort full of hot women and broken code is the exact porn plot your brain secretly wanted and never asked for out loud.