I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Therapist guy walks into his own office like it’s just another boring day, paperwork, polite small talk, all that “how does that make you feel” bullshit. Then this one patient shows up, blonde, stacked like the dev grew up on old Windows 98 porn folders, and everything just starts to slide off the rails in slow motion. Not sudden, not some instant porn logic. It’s more like watching an ice cube melting over your desk, except the ice cube is his professional ethics and it’s leaking straight into his dick. Game takes that whole “I’m a serious doctor” vibe and keeps poking holes in it every session. He’s trying to stay clinical, she’s talking about how horny she gets and how her husband doesn’t really pay attention, and you’re sitting there clicking like “yeah bro, that clipboard is not helping anymore.”

The fun part is how his buddy poisons his brain. That friend is like the demon on his shoulder who spent too many years on Pornhub comments. Texts and chats pop up where he’s all “why are you being a saint, man, she clearly wants it, what’s the worst that can happen” and you just watch the therapist start to believe his own bullshit excuses. Overnight, the way he looks at her changes. At first it’s “patient with marital issues,” then it’s “woman who probably masturbates in the shower thinking about random guys,” then it’s “if I ask the right questions, maybe she’ll tell me where and how she touches herself.” And the game actually lets you push him into that. You pick dialogue that sounds half respectable on paper, but under it there’s that dirty intention. You’re like, “this is for her emotional growth,” while the camera is taking its sweet time on her cleavage and you’re absolutely not thinking about emotional growth at all.

What it nails is that slow corruption vibe. Her clothes and makeup change over time, more lip gloss, boobs practically suffocating the neckline, little details that whisper “I’m not as innocent as when we started, doc.” She talks about being a good wife, then somehow she’s describing how she touches herself when the husband is passed out in front of the TV, and she says it in this shy way that is not really shy, more like she wants someone to drag the filth out of her. There is this one scene where you can “suggest” a relaxation technique and it turns into guided masturbation on the couch, very clinical words, very not clinical hand movement. You sit there like, yeah, Freud would absolutely high five you right now. The netori angle comes in not with drama at first, but with little betrayals. She still mentions her husband while she’s blushing and asking your character if he thinks she’s sexy, and that makes it dirtier, like cheating inside her head before it’s in the bed. The 3D style looks a little stiff in spots, like old school poser renders, but that kind of makes it nostalgic if you grew up collecting pixelated XXX gifs on limewire instead of having 4K right away. Sometimes the scenes animate just enough to make you wish there was one more camera angle they never give you, and yeah that annoys the hell out of me, but then the next session drops a line like “I dreamed about you last night, doctor” and suddenly you forget you were even mad five clicks ago.

Samus shows up here like she took a wrong portal and landed in the trashiest corner of the Nintendo multiverse, and honestly, it kind of rules. You’ve got this shiny blonde bounty hunter in a tiny bikini instead of the usual armor, strapped down so tight she’s not going anywhere, and the game basically asks, “Ok, how badly do you want to ruin her?” Then it lets you answer that with buttons, sliders, and too many cocks and tentacles to count. It starts slow if you want, just Samus squirming and giving you that pissed-off look, but the second you start actual penetration, the whole thing turns into a mix of porn clip and stress toy. You poke one thing, her ass reacts. You poke another, tentacles decide her pussy is their new home. And yeah, there’s an X-ray toggle, because apparently Creambee knows everyone wants to see what’s happening inside her holes, not only outside. One click and you’re looking straight into her cunt and ass while a thick cock or wet tentacle is stretching everything wide open, like some fucked-up anatomy lesson that would get you banned from any school in one second.

What I like is how it rewards messing around instead of just racing for the cumshot. I spent way too long just switching between anal and vaginal, watching her expression shift from angry to broken to that “I hate this but my body doesn’t” look that hentai people know too well. And yeah, the tentacle *** is not subtle at all. They come from below, wrap around her arms and legs, hold her open and pound her like they’re trying to pack her womb full. There’s no “romance”, no plot, just “Samus is fucked, now you choose how.” You can go full-on brutal, stuff her ass while another cock is hammering her pussy, and then flip on X-ray and watch both holes get filled at once. It’s ridiculous and kind of overkill, but in a good “I can’t believe I’m clicking this” way.

The little secret futanari switch in the background is peak old-school flash trolling. You spot it, click, suddenly Samus has a big hard dick on top of being used as a cum dump, and the whole scene gets twice as messy. I had her getting pounded by tentacles while her own cock was twitching and spilling over her belly and tits, facial dripping, creampie pouring out of her, and the screen just looked like someone attacked it with a bucket of cum in Photoshop. The final cumshot is exactly that type of nonsense too: you push things long enough, the rhythm changes, and then there’s this full-on explosion in her pussy, in her ass, and all over her face, like nobody here has heard of “too much”. My only stupid complaint is that the background secret is a bit annoying to find if you don’t know Creambee’s usual style, but yeah, I kept clicking around like an idiot until it worked and I’m still low-key mad about it. Anyway, if you ever wanted to see Samus tied up, fucked by tentacles, taken in the ass, stuffed with creampie, coated in facial, and also packing her own cock because why the hell not, this thing doesn’t even pretend to be tasteful. It just gives you the controls and lets you wreck her.

Princess Peach in this thing is not the cute little damsel people remember from old school cartridge days. She wakes up basically drenched in yesterday’s fun, still with dried cum on her tits and belly, and the “oh no Mario is gone” energy is way more “shit, I need my dick back” than heroic quest. The whole game feels like somebody mashed an old Nintendo arcade with the kind of filthy hentai you’re not supposed to admit you watch, then said, yeah, Peach is a complete slut now, deal with it. You’re hopping through rooms of the castle, but every few screens you’re not really thinking about coins or enemies, you’re thinking “ok, who is she going to blow next and how hard is the cumshot going to hit her face this time.” It’s still that Mushroom Kingdom vibe, sort of, just with Peach dropping to her knees faster than a goomba gets flattened. Seeing her with her crown on, mascara a little messy, lips shiny with spit while she’s deepthroating some random troop that’s supposed to be Bowser’s guard is weirdly hot and kind of stupid in the best way.

The “levels” are basically excuses to set up more sex, and that’s not a complaint at all, except when it is. You press the same couple of keys to jump or dodge and then suddenly you’re locked into a blowjob loop where timing the strokes actually matters for how fast the guy explodes on her face. One mistake and you’re watching Peach choking and gagging, blonde hair stuck to her cheeks with semen, like she’s done this a thousand times, which she kinda has, lore-wise. I liked that there’s this one moment where she sneaks past a fire trap only to “accidentally” land on a cock waiting behind a column, like, girl, really, you didn’t see that? It made me laugh and jerk off at the same time, which is a cursed combo. But the game also loves to stall you with tiny annoying bits, like one segment where the platforming feels off by half a pixel and you just keep falling, losing the mood, until the next scene of her hungrily sucking off a chain chomp reskins your brain again. The parody is all over the place, like they misremembered half of Super Mario Bros and didn’t care, but that actually makes it hotter somehow, because it’s less respectful and more “fuck this childhood memory, Peach is a cock-hungry mess now and she’ll use sex as her only weapon until she gets her plumber back, if she even wants him after all that.”