First time I opened it, I thought the colors looked a bit too clean, like candy wrappers in a porn set. But then she turned her head - Alya - and her eyes had this lazy way of tracking you, half bored, half aware you’re staring at her chest. It’s supposed to be parody, right? But it feels like the people who made it both love and mock what they’re copying. The male lead moves like he’s unsure if he deserves to be there, which somehow makes the whole thing dirtier. There’s something wildly unbalanced about how quick it switches from sweet talk to her mouth sliding down him. No fade-outs, no convenient camera cut. It just lingers. Too long maybe. Or not long enough.

The dating sim mechanics are barely pretending to matter. Tap, choose, get flustered text messages, and suddenly you’re deep in a warm rhythm that feels too personal for something you’re doing on your phone. I caught myself thinking about her hair texture mid-scene - like, how soft would it actually be after? That’s the kind of stupid detail that shouldn’t matter, but it’s there. She teases constantly, calling him “senpai” in a voice that sounds more drunk than shy. The transitions between affection and filth are messy, which I kind of adore. You can tell the animators didn’t care about polishing it smooth; they wanted it to *feel* like it could go wrong at any moment. When she presses against him, breasts heavy and animated with this exaggerated bounce, I almost laugh. Then I don’t.

There’s a scene (pretty sure it’s optional) where she insists on finishing him while keeping eye contact, and it’s uncomfortable and hot in a way only parody can be. The game pretends to be romantic, but the romance cracks open fast once things start moving under the sheets. Maybe that’s the point - pretend sweetness wrapped around shameless fucking. You could call it satire. But I’d rather call it honest.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

It’s strange how this one tries to pretend it’s a parody while actually getting way too sincere halfway through. You start thinking it’s just cheap fanservice - Mavis smirking in that hotel corridor, Katara leaning against the pool edge - but then, out of nowhere, the dialogues start sounding like somebody’s diary. My English isn’t perfect, but even I can tell when a line hits too real. The Ren’Py interface is fine, though I got stuck trying to adjust the text speed; the button hides behind a translucent menu that looks nice but messes with screen readers. I use NVDA sometimes, and it freaked out completely during the Starfire route. Accessibility zero points there, sorry. But then again, when you’re watching Raven blush and mutter something filthy under her breath, you kind of don’t care about menus anymore.

At first, I thought the 3D models looked stiff; then I noticed how the camera lingers - not on obvious parts, but the small gestures, fingers twitching, eyes half-closed, that moment before someone decides “yeah, I want this.” It’s erotic, yes, but also messy, human. And yet, sometimes, it feels like the devs wanted to prove they could make emotional porn, only to end up making emotional confusion. Kim Possible calling you “hero” right after a scene that’s absolutely not heroic? Weirdly funny. Like the game knows it’s broken and leans into it. I swear one of the background tracks loops a single moan for ten minutes - thought my browser crashed. Didn’t. Just art, apparently.

Also, can we talk about Gwen’s route? She keeps referencing tech stuff that doesn’t exist, like “I’ll hack your desire protocol,” which sounds dumb until she actually pulls off an in-game stat change mid-dialogue. That moment made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was doing. Maybe that’s the point. It’s clumsy, horny, self-aware, and frustrating all at once. There’s no polish, but there’s personality dripping from every busted transition. I hate it. I think I love it. I don’t even know anymore.

Fran is one of those protagonists who feels like the quiet kid you half-remember from your own class, the one who sits near the window and pretends the outside world is more interesting than whatever the teacher is writing on the board. Except in this case, the teacher is Ruby, and she’s absolutely not the kind of woman you ignore. Huge boobs barely fitting in a “professional” blouse, tight skirt that makes you think “there is no dress code here, right?”, and that fake strict look where you can see the smile hiding at the corner of her mouth. The whole thing plays like a slow burn that someone suddenly turned into a furnace with one stupid box of chocolates. Aphrodisiac chocolates, of course, because this story doesn’t even pretend to be innocent. You’re stuck in this classroom with her, the desks, the chalkboard, that fluorescent light hum that feels way too real if you ever sat through a boring lesson, except now the teacher is trying to hold herself together while her body basically screams to jump the student she’s supposed to be tutoring.

What I like here is how it doesn’t rush straight to “everything off, dick out, go”. You start with little stuff. Her leaning over just a bit too close, boobs pressing against your arm like it’s an accident. The way she keeps pulling at her blouse because it feels “hot” inside, and the more she does it, the more the top buttons lose the war. There’s a moment where she asks you to “help her focus” and puts your hand on her thigh under the desk, and she’s still trying to solve some textbook problem while your fingers are creeping up her stockings. That’s where the game shines: that awkward horny tension, where both know it’s wrong and both very clearly do not care. Then the aphrodisiac really hits and it just turns into this messy, needy teacher who starts groping you first, kissing like she’s been holding it back for months, lipstick smearing, her breathing getting all rough. Before you know it she’s pushing her big tits together around your cock, rubbing them up and down with this dazed, hungry look in her eyes, and the shy boy act from Fran cracks into straight-up lust. The first time you blow your load all over her face and glasses, she has that shocked “oh my god, my student just did that on me” expression mixed with a tiny proud smile, like she secretly wanted to wear your cum as makeup. I laughed a bit there, it feels filthy in a very specific school-memory way.

The art does most of the heavy lifting. Ruby’s a redhead with that slightly mature vibe, not some babyfaced anime blob, and seeing her go from “proper teacher” to drooling your cock in her mouth, swallowing and still begging for more, hits hard. The groping is very physical here: hands full of boob, fingers digging into her ass, her grabbing your dick through the pants first, tracing the shape, acting surprised at how “big” it feels for a student, even though yeah, of course it is, that’s how this genre works. There’s a nice little touch where she tries to keep it romantic, calling you cute, petting your hair, kissing your forehead before going back to licking the tip and teasing you until you can’t hold back and cum again. It’s sweet and trashy at the same time. I kind of wish the classroom had more little interactive stuff, like using the teacher’s chair differently or messing around with the windows, but it just stays in roughly the same spots. Also, there’s a tiny sound effect when the chalk hits the board at one point that annoyed the hell out of me and I don’t fully know why, it just felt too sharp compared to her soft moans and wet sucking noises. Anyway, the whole thing is basically: shy male student, horny teacher losing control thanks to some dumb chocolates, lots of oral, tits wrapped around your cock, and her face ending up sticky and satisfied while pretending nothing happened. It’s wrong in exactly the way it wants to be.