This thing calls itself “Life is Vanilla” but it’s really that messy, horny, half-true story everyone swears they’ll never tell in public, then dumps in a group chat after three beers. You’re in control of this awkward 18-year-old guy who talks big, watches way too much porn on his phone, and still loses eye contact whenever a girl actually pulls her top halfway up. It has that vibe of early uni convention season, where you’re juggling class, cheap weed, cosplay plans and wondering how the hell other people are already fucking in bathroom stalls while you’re arguing about Marvel canon. The tone jumps a lot: one moment it’s goofy jokes and dumb memes, then suddenly you’re watching your character get his first handjob in a cramped room and the camera just stays there, way too intimate, like you accidentally opened someone’s private Snapchat. It’s all 3D styled in a way that sometimes looks hot as hell and sometimes looks like everyone got slightly too much botox, but somehow that kinda fits the awkward sex energy. And yes, there is a lot of focus on big tits and big asses, not “tasteful” or subtle, more like the game knows exactly why most people click it.

What actually works for me is how it treats virginity and cheating in the same universe without pretending to be moral about it. Early on you’re still a clueless virgin who freaks out when a girl starts slow teasing, grinding on your lap while still fully dressed, just her shirt riding up and your brain short-circuits. Then later, you’re in these situations where some girl who absolutely should not be touching you is doing it anyway, like a “I have a boyfriend but he’s boring” type, sliding her hand into your pants while she keeps talking about totally normal stuff so no one notices. The game doesn’t pause to judge her, it just lets you enjoy the fucked up thrill. There is a scene in a shared apartment kitchen that really stuck with me, the kind of fake-casual exhibitionism where she “accidentally” bends over a bit too far, no panties, pretending to search a lower cabinet while the MC is desperately hiding his boner behind a cereal box. It makes group sex later on feel like a natural train wreck of all the small bad decisions. Of course there’s oral, creampies, clothes coming off in the worst possible order, that thing where a girl spits on your cock first and smiles like she just discovered a cheat code. Weirdly, the only thing that really annoyed me was one shirt texture on a side girl’s outfit that looked cheap as hell. I kept staring at it every time she stripped, which is the most unsexy complaint to have, but it just pulled me out of it and then I’d forget what line I was even reading in the scene. Anyway, it all plays like someone’s overconfident memory of their youth, mixed with shit that obviously didn’t happen, and that chaotic mix is kind of the whole charm, even when it’s trying way too hard and somehow not trying at all at the same time.

You wake up as this so-called “scientist” in a lab that feels more like a horny underground bunker than anything from real science. Outside, the world is going to shit because humans are freaking out over furries, anti-furry mobs hunting them like they’re monsters, and you just decide, yeah, I’ll make my lab a shelter. Not out of kindness, of course. You take them in, Nicole, Diane, random fox girls with tits bigger than their moral compass, Amy Rose walking in like she owns the place, and every single one arrives with some excuse and some trauma. You nod, pretend to be the serious researcher, and then the “tests” start. It feels very wrong in the right way. You watch them through cameras, through glass, pretending you’re checking their vitals while you zoom in on tits bouncing when they masturbate because they think nobody’s looking. Half the interface is just you picking where to look, where to put them, what to make them wear, and I keep thinking “why the fuck is the font so small on these menus” while at the same time, my dick is doing happy jumps. Priorities, right.

Then there is that weird paranoia mechanic with anti-furries sneaking in with “realistic” fursuits, trying to pass as the real thing. It actually makes you look at bodies more carefully, which is kinda hot and kinda creepy. You’re judging every curve, every tail, every ear twitch, wondering if she’s a real fox girl with soft fur and big ass ready to take a creampie, or some asshole in a suit waiting to stab your guests. One scene stuck in my head: Nicole in the shower room, steam covering most of her, only outline of those huge tits and ass visible, and suddenly a small UI popup appears right on her thigh, blocking the exact spot you want to see. Like, who designed that placement? Who hurt you? You also get oral scenes where your choices earlier decide if she does it willingly, shy and playful, or after you pushed her into more rough male domination stuff, like hand on her head, drool all over your cock, her eyes looking up in that “I’m pretending to hate it” way. It makes everything very personal, but sometimes the game then dumps a chunky text box in the middle of the blowjob like a boring visual novel, and I just want a simple toggle in options to hide that trash.

Accessibility wise, yeah, this thing needs work. No separate text scaling, no colorblind consideration, tiny checkboxes that look like they’ve been drawn by SCP‑1471 in a hangover mood. You can’t rebind half the keys, and for someone like me who plays one-handed more often than not, that’s annoying as hell. There is an exhibitionism angle where you purposely send your furry girl out into semi-open corridors, cameras everywhere, other characters walking by pretending not to stare while she “tests” a toy on a bench, legs spread, pussy dripping, and the game actually plays with voyeurism quite nicely. You stand in the control room, watching multiple screens, swapping between a fox girl giving you a lazy handjob on your lap and another character being sexually harassed in a corridor by an anti-furry who slipped through. Part of me wants better UI contrast, bigger subtitles, proper audio sliders that don’t hide in some random submenu. Part of me doesn’t care at all when Diane is on her knees, lipstick ruined, your cum leaking from her mouth after a forced deepthroat, while alarms flash in the background about a security breach you never check because, well, porn. The dystopian war outside becomes just noise, a kind of excuse so you can keep dragging scared but horny furries into “safe” rooms and use them however you marked them in your logbook. I still hate that little notification sound it makes every single time a new event pops up, though. Never found the toggle for that. Still bothers me.

Stormhill looks fancy at first, all gold roofs and clean streets, but the game makes it feel dirty in a good way pretty fast. You’re the spoiled heir everyone secretly hates, walking through this city like you own every brick, and yeah, you kind of do. But the best parts are when that rich boy attitude crashes right into raw, sweaty street sex. One moment you’re being polite in some high-class hall, the next you’ve got a girl with ridiculous tits bent over a balcony while the whole district is right under you. The camera loves to sit a bit back, like it’s peeking, so half the time you feel like a creep watching your own scenes. There’s this bit early on where you corner a girl who pretends she’s too proud for you, all noble and cold, and then two lines later she has your cock in her mouth, mascara smudging while you hold her head and just use her throat. I thought it would feel generic, but the way she slowly stops pushing your hands away and starts going deeper on her own… yeah, that stuck in my head way too long. I still hate the font they use in the dialogue though. It’s stupidly small on mobile and I keep squinting, then forgetting I was even mad once her ass jiggles again in the next animation.

What really works is how the “gang building” thing is just an excuse to collect a harem that all needs to be put in their place. They say you’re trying to escape your father’s control, but half your choices are about how hard you’re going to control everyone else. There’s this scene in a dusty warehouse where you’re “negotiating” with a rival’s girl. Negotiation ends with her pinned against some crates, panties pushed to the side, and you sliding into her while she’s still trying to talk big. You grab her tits, they’re huge and soft, and you can watch the exact second she breaks, legs wrapping around you while you pound her ass so hard the boxes behind her start shaking. The game lets you choose to finish in her or pull out, but be honest, nobody is pulling out here. The creampie close-ups are stupidly detailed, like the camera gets almost too close, cum leaking back out while she’s still trembling and whispering your name. Later, there’s an alley scene where you’re supposed to just watch two side girls fool around, licking each other and grinding, and I swear I was planning to keep it “romantic”, then the option to join pops up and suddenly you’re shoving your dick into one while the other sits on your face. I think I hated that scene. Yeah. Totally hated it. The anal bits hit harder than I expected too, especially one rooftop moment where you press a girl against the railing, slide into her pussy first, get her all wet and noisy, then slowly push into her ass while she claws at the stone and begs you not to stop. It’s rough, it’s messy, and the game loves to linger on your hands groping every curve like they belong to you already. I opened it “just to test it” on my phone while waiting for a food delivery, and fifteen minutes later I’m hunched over my screen, thumb tapping through dialogue, completely forgetting I even ordered anything. The story tries to play deep with empires and politics and all that, but it honestly works better when it drops the serious act and just lets you be the absolute bastard king of a city full of big tits, big asses, and mouths that keep saying no while their bodies do something very different.

You start as this skinny little elf dude who looks like he should be reading poetry, not swinging a sword, and five minutes later you’re balls-deep in trouble with horny monsters and MILFs who have way more experience than you. The world they drop you in feels kind of harmless at first, like “ok, generic fantasy thing, I’ll kill some slimes, collect whatever,” then suddenly the camera angle shifts and you’re watching a thick orc girl grinding your cock while your HP bar is still up there like this is normal combat. It’s not subtle. The game is basically: fight something, fuck something, get distracted, forget why you even opened the map. I went to one village to buy potions and ended up hiding behind a fence just to watch a busty auntie get railed, because the voyeur scenes are actually animated and not just lazy text. Felt dirty, clicked replay twice.

The sandbox part is where it gets weirdly addictive and also a bit messy. You can wander around, poke your nose into houses you probably shouldn’t, snoop on moms bathing, catch some girl masturbating when you were just trying to steal her loot. Sometimes you trigger a scene by accident, like I opened a door during a quest and suddenly the MC is on his knees, getting his cock sucked by this milf with huge tits who apparently “rewards brave adventurers.” No build up, just throat, spit, animation, creampie option at the end. Really liked how it lets you choose “where” you finish, then hated it because I realized I had to redo half the dialogue just to see the anal variant. The RPG combat itself is funny, because you come in thinking about stats and you end up caring more about which monster has the hottest defeat scene. Got absolutely destroyed by a spider-girl once and instead of being mad I was staring at her big ass bouncing while she rode me unconscious. Also, tiny thing, the inventory sound is annoying as hell. Never gets fixed, always clicky, always a bit too loud.

What I liked most is how the game doesn’t pretend the elf is some pure hero. The guy is a total perv. You can jerk off while spying through windows, get titfucked by some massive-titted warrior chick after you help her in a dungeon, or go for that messy incest route they hide just enough to feel “taboo but not impossible to find.” I took a “wrong” dialogue choice with a relative and suddenly she’s bent over the table, panties aside, and the game lets you slide between vaginal and anal mid-animation while she moans about family staying close. It’s trashy, and I still grinned. Sometimes the pacing is all over the place, like one quest tries to be serious about “saving the kingdom” and two clicks later you’re sucking off a futa guard in a back alley because you wanted to see if the bulge was real. The point and click bits are nice until they aren’t; missed a hotspot in a forest once and wandered around like an idiot instead of getting to the sex scene with the monster girl hiding there. But when it works, it really works: you win a fight, pin the monster, plunge into her dripping pussy, watch your cum overflow in this sloppy creampie close-up, and for a moment you forget any bugs or missing polish or whatever. Then you notice a typo in the dialogue and start laughing.