The world in this game already went to shit before you even get to unzip anything. Cities are broken, rules are gone, and Matt, this young soldier with more trauma than sleep, crawls back home trying to figure out what the hell is left to care about. It is not a heroic return, it feels more like he just respawned in a bugged map. You slide into his skin and into his mess, and every choice you click is basically: "Do I try to be a decent human, or do I follow my dick and hope the universe doesn’t punish me too hard?" Of course, the universe absolutely punishes you. Or rewards you. Depends how much you like watching your supposed love interest get railed by someone who is not you, sometimes not even human in the normal way. There are moments where you’re in some half ruined apartment, your phone in one hand, other hand very busy, watching this big titted relative of yours pretend the world outside doesn’t exist while she grinds against you like tomorrow isn’t a thing, and the game pauses on a decision pop-up that looks like it was coded at 3 coffees too many. One tap and you’re the protective, jealous type. Another tap and suddenly you are opening the door for the monster in the shadows and thinking, "ok, I kinda wanna see how far this goes."

The funny part is how the game doesn’t even pretend to be classy. One scene you’re having this almost sweet talk with someone very close to your bloodline, like real soft, romance-style, she is sitting too close on the couch, shirt a little open, and there is this tiny moment where you think "wow, this is actually emotional." Then camera angle goes lower, her ass fills the screen like it is a weather forecast, and Matt’s brain returns to factory settings. It feels trashy, but also weirdly honest about how horny people are when there are no cops, no laws, just ghosts in the hallway and monsters in the basement. The paranormal stuff sneaks up on you in a good way. One night scene, you are walking down some ruined street, fog all over, and your phone buzzes like it is a Tinder match from hell. There is this creature watching you and the game is like: "kiss the demon or protect your family." Why not both, right? Sometimes the NTR hits hard though. I had one route where I thought I was building a slow burn romance with this thick, shy girl at home, giving her nice answers, defending her when others talk shit, and then out of nowhere I open a door and she is bent over for some thing with claws and a smug face. Game just lets you watch, no skip, like it is proud of itself. Also, side note, the notification sound in the UI is ugly as fuck, I hate it, it’s like an old Nokia tone, and now it’s burned in my brain forever. Anyway, the way the story branches when you lean into corruption or try to hold onto love is messy but in a good porn way, like sex on a couch full of clothes. Not neat, but you still come back to it on your phone, pretending you are just checking Telegram or TikTok while in reality you’re guiding this broken soldier through a world where morals died and tits got bigger. The game keeps asking "who do you want to protect" while it puts everyone you care about in situations where their panties or their sanity, or both, are optional.

Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.

You know that feeling when you’re scrolling on your phone, bored out of your mind, and you start thinking “yeah, I kinda wanna flirt with half the anime multiverse right now”? This game leans right into that. It’s a mobile-style dating sim where your whole job is to talk, tease, and slowly push your way from cute banter to full-on filthy with a bunch of familiar faces. One minute you’re trying to keep your shit together while Tsunade leans in with those ridiculous tits, the next you’re trading playful jabs with Marin Kitagawa like she’s your chaotic cosplay girlfriend who absolutely knows she’s out of your league. It’s very much a “pick a waifu, poke at her until she cracks, then enjoy the view” setup. You answer questions, pick dialog options, earn points when you say the thing she wants to hear, and each correct move nudges the relationship from “hi, senpai” to “okay, pull your dick out already.”

What I like is how the game doesn’t pretend it’s some deep, tragic romance. It pretends for like 10 seconds, then goes straight into horny nerd brain. You start with small talk, a bit of teasing, then she starts hinting, and once you’ve stacked enough points, the clothes start vanishing. One date you’re laughing with Aqua while she’s being useless and bratty, the next date she’s grinding in your lap and calling you a pervert like it’s your fault. Rias acts all composed, polite, almost royal, but you keep pushing the right answers and suddenly you’re getting your cock squeezed between those huge tits she pretends are a burden. There are titfucks, messy handjobs, slow teasing oral where she holds eye contact like she wants to watch you lose control, the usual “oops I sat on it” vaginal sex, and yeah, anal too if you unlock the right scenes. Some girls treat it as a reward, some as a challenge, some as “shut up and enjoy it.” I had this moment with a certain dragon milf where she’s bouncing on top of me with that massive ass, smiling like she’s finally found a new toy, and I genuinely forgot to click the next line because I was too busy staring.

It’s not all straight either, which is nice. You’ve got traps like Astolfo and Felix in the mix, cute and flirty and way too confident, and if you’re into that, the game doesn’t tiptoe around it. They flirt hard, they suck you off like they’ve practiced, they ride you like they’re trying to prove something. Some routes feel more romantic, like a soft slow-burn with a girl like Rem, where you actually care a bit about the conversation before you end up buried inside her, and some are pure chaos, like Darkness begging you to use her like a toy while you’re thinking “ok, I’m the degenerate here but wow.” It’s kinda funny how sometimes the writing hits this surprisingly sweet mood, then two screens later you’re balls-deep and watching a loop of her moaning and drooling, legs shaking. There’s a harem vibe too once you realize just how many characters are waiting for you. Best way to enjoy it? Don’t rush. Take a character, answer her correctly, watch her shift from “oh, we’re just talking” to “fuck me harder” and let yourself get sucked into each scene. Screenshot the faces you like, replay the ones that make you twitch, and let the game do what it clearly wants to do: melt your brain in the dirtiest, laziest way possible.

It’s ridiculous, really - Fry crash-lands among yellow people and the first thing I notice is how the lighting in Moe’s bar makes everyone look like melted butter. That’s not a complaint, by the way, it’s kinda hot. The game starts off pretending to care about Fry’s “mission” or whatever, but everyone knows it’s about catching those awkward glances through half-open doors. You know that guilty thrill when you’re watching something you shouldn’t but can’t stop anyway? That’s the whole mood. I spent too long peeking at Marge cleaning up with that slow, bored face, and boom - there’s a toy lying around that definitely isn’t for cleaning. Then Homer walks in and I swear he stares at it like it owes him money. Anyway. The humor is nasty in a way I didn’t expect: cheap but confident, like it *knows* you’re gonna laugh right before doing something pervy.

It tricks you with “rpg” talk but it’s less about grinding stats and more about grinding, well, you know. One second I’m fiddling with an inventory full of… creative gadgets, next I’m accidentally triggering a voyeur sequence with Shauna and it’s both funny and embarrassingly detailed. The sort of scene you’d alt-tab from if anyone walked by, but also the one you’d think about while pretending to scroll Instagram later. What gets me is how Fry reacts; he’s equal parts idiot and horny philosopher, muttering about destiny while fumbling with something that buzzes. It’s peak absurdity, but somehow it fits this crossover chaos between Futurama and Springfield.

I keep telling myself the “writing” is what I like - the dumb jokes about quantum teleportation and Meg Griffin’s cameo that somehow spirals into a weird morality lesson (don’t ask what kind) - but nah, I’m lying to myself. It’s messy, dumb, sometimes too self-aware, but I don’t stop playing. The sandbox setup means half the fun is doing things out of order just to watch characters react like they remember last night’s mistakes. Sometimes they even mention you. That’s the part that kinda freaked me out. Maybe that’s the point: voyeurism isn’t about watching - it’s about getting caught.