Vault Wanderer is one of those horny little parody projects that feels like it started as a shitpost between friends on Discord and somehow became an actual game. You play this guy who crawls out of a comfy underground vault into a wasteland that is less about radiation and more about who is fucking who, and with what. The whole thing mixes classic turn based RPG combat with stupid jokes and very explicit scenes that just kind of slam into you out of nowhere. One second you are clicking through some goofy dialogue about bottle caps, the next you are watching a futa raider get her dick sucked in a surprisingly long animated loop while your character pretends he is not into it. The game loves voyeurism like crazy. Almost every location has some “oops I walked in on them” moment, except it is never really an accident and everybody is cool with you standing in the corner jerking off. Or pretending to “research.” The writing knows exactly what it is doing: it makes fun of the wasteland clichés, then uses the same clichés to justify a harem route where every big tits, big ass, wrong-race-for-this-town waifu somehow ends up in your camp.

What surprised me most is how messy but confident the sandbox structure is. You are just dropped on the surface with this point and click map and told to explore, and the game absolutely does not care if you go straight to a lesbian futa bar and stall your “main quest” for two hours doing nothing except footjobs and blowjobs in different outfits. There is real RPG stuff happening in the background: stats, turn based fights, random encounters that sometimes end in actual combat and sometimes turn straight into oral sex scenes if you pick the horny dialogue option. I lost one fight because I was too distracted watching the enemy’s boobs bounce in the attack animation, which is a stupid reason to reload, but here we are. The art is simple 2D CG but the animations have just enough motion to make the scenes feel alive without turning into weird rubber people. Some of the interracial setups are actually hot, then the game drops a joke so bad it short circuits the mood and you kind of hate it for ten seconds, until the next harem scene where three girls are roleplaying “capturing” you and you forget you were mad. The mobile support is oddly good too; I tried it on my phone while half-slouching on the couch with Chrome open and it ran smoother than some serious games on Steam. Sometimes the text spacing gets fucked on smaller screens and nobody bothered to fix it, which annoyed me for like a full minute while I was trying to read a masturbation scene and the last line wrapped in a stupid way, and then I clicked next and forgot. That is basically the whole vibe here: horny, rough around edges, a little broken, but when the wasteland mommy with huge boobs kneels down for oral and the camera zooms in just right, your brain stops caring about polish completely.

You wake up in this fucked up little pocket of reality that feels like someone mixed a murder scene with a wet dream and forgot to clean either part. There’s wax on the floor, candles half melted, and a skeleton that won’t shut up about fate and sin like a drunk philosopher on Discord at 5 in the morning. You’re supposed to be a detective, right, the serious type, solving cases and writing reports, but the game keeps poking at you, like it knows what kind of shit you watch in incognito mode. The demon girl in the cell looks at you like she’s already seen every bad thought you ever had about your teacher, your neighbor, that one milf on Instagram with the suspiciously perfect big tits. She talks slow, teasing, like she’s unwrapping your brain the way most hentai girls unwrap a cock, and the creepy thing is she’s not even wrong. The whole thing feels like an interrogation where you’re the one getting stripped.

It pretends to be horror at first, with this prison that doesn’t follow normal logic, doors that appear where there was only stone, and reality bending around your choices, but then it starts slipping in sex like it’s nothing. One minute you’re checking a crime scene, the next you’re spying through a keyhole at some girl in a school uniform getting “tutored” a little too hard by a futa teacher with a cock that obviously breaks school rules. You follow one lead and end up watching a corrupted housewife kneel down and take a slow, messy blowjob that turns into a creampie she’s totally not supposed to enjoy, because she still has a husband somewhere in this story, I think. The game doesn’t stop there. It keeps pushing the whole cheating thing, netorase stuff, voyeur scenes where you’re told to watch, to record, to blackmail. The demon keeps asking which choice turns you on more, the broken girl begging for more or the proud one who ends up collared and slapped until she does what she’s told. There are pixel art bits that somehow feel dirtier than the “serious” 3D renders, like when a tiny growing girl slowly turns into a giantess and pins a terrified, naked succubus under her ass, grinding on her face like it’s some casual Tuesday. And you think, I didn’t ask for that, but yeah, I kind of did.

What I really care about, and the game kind of half-asses, is the interface. For something with this much psychological stuff and roleplaying choices, it acts like everyone has perfect eyesight, perfect reflexes, perfect mouse control. Tiny dialogue text on bright backgrounds with fancy fonts that look nice for ten seconds, then start to hurt. There’s a lot of clicking through long scenes, especially the slow burn corruption parts, and no real “hey, my hands get tired, can I use my keyboard more” options. You can’t bump font size without going into awkward system zooms like you’re reading a PDF from 2009. There are sound cues for important choices, but no real detailed volume sliders, so if you have sensitive hearing or use headphones because, you know, you don’t want your whole house hearing a futanari nun spanking a schoolgirl until she squirts, you’re stuck juggling Windows mixer and hoping the demon doesn’t suddenly moan at full blast. The sex scenes are hot, sure, in that messy mix of bdsm, femdom, incest hints, sleep sex, pregnancy scares and “she says no at first but then she’s dripping” way that a lot of adult games push, and the sandboxy structure lets you stalk characters, watch them in showers, tease them with toys, push them toward group sex in the “wrong” route. But for a game that loves fucking with your head about control and consent, it doesn’t give you much control over basic comfort. No colorblind modes for clue highlighting, no text-to-speech hooks, no simple way to slow down auto-advance if you process English slower than native speakers. It wants to dig into your secret kinks like it’s reading your diary, yet it treats access like an afterthought, like if you can’t keep up with fast text and tiny buttons then you’re not invited to the orgy. Which is kind of funny, because the whole story is about doors that shouldn’t exist, but when I actually need a door like “bigger UI” or “less click spam” that one never appears.

There’s this weird moment when you’re playing, where you suddenly realize that in this world nobody is really “the guy” or “the girl” in the old boring way, and yet everybody is horny about power anyway. You’re this college professor, trans woman, looking very put-together on the surface, stylish outfits, that slightly strict teacher energy that makes you want to sit up straight and also get on your knees. The campus looks normal at first, everyday slice-of-life stuff, coffee in the staff room, awkward students, dumb meetings. Then conversations slowly twist into something more playful, more corrupted, like the world already accepted that gender is flexible, but people are still kinky little creeps about who gets to be on top. You’re respected by your colleagues, but they look at you with that extra second of eye contact, like they know you’re packing more than a gradebook under that skirt. The boyfriend exists, sure, sweet and supportive and kind of useless, which is funny, because the game pretends everything is fine while quietly setting up all these opportunities to ruin that “normal life” with your own hands.

What really hooked me was when the game stops flirting and actually lets you act on all that tension. There’s this scene with a shy femboy in your class, the kind that blushes just from you calling his name, and the dialogue lets you tease him slowly enough that you can almost hear his voice crack. You can be soft, patient, talking about his future and grades, and then without changing tone you slide into talking about how obedient he is, how cute his legs look when he crosses them. It feels like you’re directing your own audio drama, choosing where the pitch goes up, where you lean in, when you finally push him over that line. And because the MC is mostly the one on top, the camera and the writing both treat her as the center of gravity. She takes control in bed with the same calm authority she uses in the classroom, guiding a girl’s head down for a blowjob or pressing a trembling trans partner into the mattress for a deep, messy creampie. There’s a scene in a cramped office where you corner a female colleague who has been flirting for way too long, and you can practically imagine the sound of the chair wheels scraping as you pin her there, one hand on her throat, the other under her skirt, until she breaks and begs you to fuck her harder. It should be ridiculous, and it is, but the game knows it. It goes from serious psychological “who am I really” questions to you railing a cute futa on your desk like this is just another faculty meeting. And of course, I kept pausing the game thinking about how I would deliver those lines as a voice actor, where to add a breathy laugh, where to drag out a moan. Then I forgot completely and just clicked through, because seeing the professor pound that femboy into the bed while whispering in his ear about how good boys spread their legs for their teacher was way more interesting than analyzing anything.

Tiffa in this game feels like that hot girl from cam chat who pretends she has her shit together, then one bad night and suddenly she’s letting strangers see way more than just cleavage. The whole thing starts stupid simple: dark alley, shady guy, city that looks like it smells of sweat and oil, and her trying to do the “good girl with strong morals” act. Five clicks later she’s already in a situation where those morals are hanging by a thread and honestly, that’s where it gets fun. You’re not just watching her get fucked, you’re kind of guiding how fast she slides from “I’m not that type of girl” to “okay, maybe just a little, but only this once” while she’s breathing hard and blushing and pretending she doesn’t like people seeing her like that. The point and click stuff is simple, yeah, but it works: you poke at a trash can, you poke at a door, you poke at a guy’s crotch by “accident” and suddenly there’s a choice about whether Tiffa lets her top slip a bit too low just to get what she wants. I love that feeling where a wrong click makes you discover a new scene with her pressed to a wall, tits squished, trying not to moan too loud. And she fails. Every time.

The wild part is when Aerith shows up. She’s not just a background waifu, she’s this soft, “pure” girl that looks like she belongs in a flower shop, not in some half-legal alley fuckfest. But she still gets tangled in the mess, and that’s when the multiple protagonist thing actually hits. One moment you’re steering Tiffa, making her flash her big tits to distract some creep who clearly doesn’t deserve that view, and the next you’re on Aerith’s side, choosing whether she acts brave or just pretends she doesn’t notice the guy staring at her thighs. There’s this one scene where you can push it: Tiffa is cornered in a narrow passage, shirt half open, sweat on her chest, guy’s hand already on her ass, and instead of stopping it you can click just the right spot and she leans into it. You feel a bit dirty, like when a viewer in my cam room tips extra just to watch me “accidentally” show more on Chaturbate and I pretend to be shy but I’m already wet. That same vibe. The exhibitionism is not “oh look, clothes disappear”, it’s more like: she knows people are watching, she knows she should stop, but she keeps going because orgasms beat morals every time. Meanwhile the romance angle quietly sneaks in with little lines and looks, which I liked and also kinda hated because I came here to watch Tiffa get ruined, not catch feelings, yet when she actually blushes at a soft touch instead of a rough grab, it hits different. Point and click feels almost too light sometimes, you just hover around the screen until the cursor changes and suddenly Tiffa is on her knees, lips parted, mascara probably about to run. I only got annoyed by one tiny thing: a hotspot near a wall that looks clickable but it’s not, and I kept smacking my mouse there like an idiot instead of focusing on her tits. Anyway, the mix of alley grime, Final Fantasy nostalgia, and shameless sex where both girls end up more exposed than they planned feels weirdly close to real cam life: you start with “no nudity, just teasing” and a few choices later you’re naked, turned on, and negotiating with yourself more than with anyone else.