Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

Angela moves again. New neighborhood, new fake smile, same heavy shit packed in her bags. She’s this sexy, tired kind of woman who looks like she’s had too many arguments and not enough orgasms, if that makes sense. Her past is hanging over her like some shitty Netflix show she never finished, and now she’s back close to her family, which is… awkward as hell. You play as Rayne, basically the one stuck in the middle of it all, trying to figure out if you want to fix things, fuck things, or just run. The game doesn’t hold your hand; it just kind of drops you in and lets you poke at people and see what happens. One minute you’re talking about normal life stuff, next minute you’re catching your “aunt” in a towel that totally doesn’t cover everything and suddenly you remember this is not a “wholesome” story. At all.

The sandbox style hits different here. You’re not just clicking “next scene, next sex, repeat”. You wander, you snoop, you literally peek through doors when you shouldn’t. That moment when you accidentally see Angela late at night, sitting on the edge of the bed, fingers between her thighs, trying to get herself off just to forget her own memories? That hit me harder than I thought. Not just because yeah, it’s hot as fuck, but because she looks like she’s almost crying but also moaning and you can’t really tell which one you want to see more. Then again, a few scenes later she feels a bit too perfect, like someone’s horny idea of a mom in a porn search bar, and I kinda rolled my eyes… right before clicking every single option to push her even deeper into that role. The teasing is slow on purpose, sometimes to the point where I wanted to scream at the screen, like “just touch her already”, but then when it finally breaks, it feels a little illegal in a way that porn sites are absolutely built on. You know what I mean.

What I like is how it lets the lesbian stuff breathe. It’s not just “oh look, two women, now they kiss, scene over.” Rayne’s curiosity feels messy, like scrolling through Twitter and suddenly ending up on the wrong side of NSFW threads and realizing it’s the right side for you. She watches, she hesitates, she keeps “accidentally” walking in at the worst possible moments. There’s this one scene where she’s spying on someone in the shower, and the way the water sticks to skin and curves is so distracting that I literally missed my dialog option because I just stared too long. The romance angle is weirdly soft in between all the taboo: late-night talks in the kitchen, too-long hugs that really aren’t just family anymore, a hand on a thigh that stays there a second too long. It’s hot, but also uncomfortable, and I kind of love that it doesn’t try to make it clean. I do wish the interface didn’t make me misclick tiny choices when my hand is already busy, but that’s never getting fixed and maybe that’s part of the “challenge”. In the end, you’re not just watching them run from the past, you’re slowly helping them cross lines they can’t uncross, with each orgasm feeling like both a reward and another mistake, and somehow that feels exactly right for this kind of story.