Your pap dies off-screen, leaves you his whole damn job in Soul Society, and you’re still basically a horny newbie who barely remembers which captain hates which. That’s the vibe here. You’re thrown in as the new commander, everyone calls you “taicho” with that fake respect, and half the time you’re trying to decide if you should fix the political mess or just fuck your way through it. First scene already tells you how it goes: one minute you’re at a funeral, the next you’re staring at Rukia’s legs way too long and thinking “yeah this is not how a responsible leader behaves” while the game kinda smiles and says, “good, keep going.” It doesn’t pretend to be epic and serious, even when it tries. You talk to captains, you mess with schedules, send squads on missions, but every choice has that “ok but how does this help me get into her pants” feeling. Sometimes it’s soft stuff, like walking Hinata-style shy girls out of their shell with dumb little compliments, sometimes it’s straight up “I’m your commander, get on your knees” and the game doesn’t flinch at all.

What really hooked me was how dirty it gets once you stop being polite. At first I was like “I’ll play the good boy,” trying to keep everyone friendly, but you run into Rangiku and her tits are basically their own cutscene, spilling out of the uniform every time she bends forward. You can tease her, get teased back, or just push it into rough territory if you set your dominance high enough. Same with Yoruichi. One route she’s trolling you, laughing in your face, making you jerk off like a dog while she watches. Different route, you’ve got her on all fours, collar biting into her neck, ass up and dripping while you decide if it’s going to be slow pussy worship or full-on choke-and-cream. The game doesn’t hide the nasty stuff: sleep sex scenes, voyeurism when you spy on captains bathing, lesbian side events with girls grinding on each other while you’re just there stroking, ahegao faces that would get you banned on Instagram in one second. It’ll let you titfuck Orihime on your office chair, footjob from some smug captain who pretends she hates you, sex toys stuffed into subordinates while they’re trying to keep a straight face in meetings. One moment you’re holding a sweet romance flag with someone like Inoue, later you’re watching her gag on your cock while her eyes roll up, drool everywhere, and then you still go to a “respectful” briefing like nothing happened. The AI CG actually surprised me a bit, sometimes it looks weird on fingers but then you get a midnight creampie scene with Nel or a rough blowjob with Tsunade-tier milf and suddenly you forget everything you wanted to complain about. I still hate that tiny menu button that’s slightly off-center and my brain screams every time I tap it, but yeah, this is one of those games where you say “ok, just one more scene” and then your dick hurts but you still click.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

You start as this kinda broke dude just wandering the city, checking your phone way too much and pretending everything’s fine while you’re basically one missed payment from sleeping in the alley. Then a friend hits you with “hey, I need a favor” and suddenly you’re neck deep in horny zodiac bullshit and monster girls who are way out of your league. It feels like a dating app got drunk, fucked a horoscope site, and then the baby decided to be a sex sim. One moment you’re trying to be smooth with some tall Leo girl with big tits hanging out of her top like they’re about to apply for citizenship, and the next you’re answering weird personal questions from a cold Scorpio type who looks like she might peg you just to see if you cry. The flirting isn’t just click line, get sex. Sometimes you say the “right” thing and she actually gets pissed, leaves you blueballed with a half-open bra and you’re just sitting there like, did I seriously lose anal because I picked the wrong snack option.

What I really liked is how shameless the game is about the sex and also about humiliating you. One monster girl just straight up treats you like a toy, makes you follow her around shops while she’s basically showing off her ass and boobs to every NPC, and you can’t do shit except carry bags and get teased. Her dialogue stuck in my head, that line where she calls you “good boy wallet” before shoving your face between her tits on the street, people watching, and you feel like trash but also you don’t want it to stop. There’s exhibition stuff everywhere, like public blowjob scenes where you can decide to be a coward and hide, or let her keep sucking while a cop walks by and pretends not to see. Sometimes your choices just unlock extra dirty versions of scenes, like normal vaginal sex turning into “oh by the way I’m futa, put that cock in your mouth first” and you didn’t exactly sign up for it but you kinda did. The futa girls hit different here, not just “oh look, extra dick”, more like they’re playing with you, making you choose who gets the creampie, front or back, and there’s a line where one of them laughs at you for cumming too fast inside her ass, telling you she’s had better from a vibrator.

The whole money system is stupid in a good way. You grind little jobs, get a bit of cash, then immediately waste it on toys like vibrators, ropes, plugs, collars, all that shit you swear you’re “just testing”. Some scenes change if you actually bring the toy, like instead of simple oral she’s choking on your cock while you push a toy into her pussy and she’s moaning about how she’ll squirt in front of the window if you don’t stop. Or you show up broke and she just laughs and uses you as her stress relief, riding your face, not even letting you fuck her properly because “poor boys don’t get pussy, only work”. The romance is there, but it’s messy. One girl actually gets soft and cuddly after you creampie her, talking about destiny and signs, and then later she ghosts you for three in game days and you find her grinding on some other monster girl in a club. Sometimes the game feels romantic, like a real dating sim with texting and picking gifts, and sometimes it just punches you in the dick with a futa dom scene where you’re bent over and wondering how the hell you got here from buying coffee. It’s chaotic, horny, kind of mean, and the AI-style art gives everything this weird dreamy porn vibe where the big asses and big tits look almost too perfect, like you’re imagining it after jerking off on your phone for too long. Honestly I love it, and also it kinda pisses me off, which is probably the point.

You wake up in a place that feels like some horny JRPG fan’s wet dream and a Pinterest moodboard had a baby. Sky too clean, grass too green, and the first thing you see is a girl with tits that absolutely do not obey gravity or any God you know, calling herself a “spirit” and acting like you’re important. Not “hey, you’re cute” important. More like “if you don’t make me cum, the universe might explode” important. No pressure, right?

The hook is simple but it works: you’re this clueless guy dropped into a fantasy world where every main girl is some kind of spirit with powers that need to be “sealed” through, well, physical contact. Sometimes sweet, sometimes filthy, sometimes both in the same scene. One spirit will tease you with that slow, lazy handjob where she keeps locking eyes with you and smirking, like she knows exactly how close you are and keeps pulling back at the last second. Another one kneels in front of you in what looks like an ancient temple, says it’s “part of the ritual”, and then takes you in her mouth so deep you literally forget what the actual plot was. There’s also a running joke about “energy transfer” that somehow always ends with her tits covered in your cum. Classic.

What hits different here is how the game yo-yos between horny and cute without asking for permission. You’re having this surprisingly emotional scene with a spirit who is scared of losing control of her powers, and she’s blushing, asking if you’ll stay with her, and you think “oh, this is kinda wholesome”. Ten clicks later she’s pushing her big ass back on your cock in some ruined shrine, gasping like the fate of the world is in every thrust, and you’re like yeah alright, that tracks. The romance actually matters just enough to make the sex scenes feel earned, even when the game is clearly joking about its own logic. There’s this date in a market square where she’s pretending to be just a normal girl, feeding you fruit, trying not to blow your cover as a walking spirit magnet, and the whole thing ends with you fucking her between two stalls while some guy on the other side complains about prices. I was half expecting a Skyrim stealth meter in the corner.

The comedy is very “we know this is ridiculous, just enjoy it”. One spirit literally catches you peeking on her while she bathes, calls you a pervert, then five minutes later is guiding your head between her legs, moaning that she “needs to be purified”. The game throws in parody moments from other fantasy stuff too, but in a stupid, charming way, like a fake “hero’s guild” that turns out to be mostly hot spirits arguing over who gets to be your “official partner”. Of course, harem vibes everywhere, with characters lowkey competing: one girl bouncing her massive tits in your face while another rolls her eyes but then offers a slow titfuck like she’s saying “fine, watch this instead”. Mobile support is actually decent, even for one-handed play, though tapping tiny dialogue choices while your other hand is busy is its own kind of skill check. Only thing that annoyed me was one scene where a big emotional conversation gets interrupted by a gag about your dick again and I was like, yeah, I get it, comedy, but let her finish one serious line, man. Anyway, the world keeps pretending it might end, nobody’s wearing a normal-sized bra, and somehow that crystal that started all this stops feeling important once you’re staring at another spirit riding you like her magic depends on it.