You wake up and it’s just… wrong. Not hell, not heaven, more like the horny waiting room nobody told you about. This smug bitch in heels, Miss Fortune, sits there with that “I own your soul and your dick” vibe, talking to you like she already read your browser history twice. She explains you’re dead way too casually, then basically offers you this cursed-sex-tour through a fantasy world where goblins are everywhere and somehow everyone has ridiculous boobs and zero shame. It feels like someone mixed hentai logic with a fucked-up fairy tale and then said “yeah, that’s enough plot, now go fuck things.” The writing leans into it too. Miss Fortune teases you every time you think you’re in control, like she’s watching from some upper menu, laughing when you pick the degenerate option… which is all of them, honestly.

The actual wandering around is more fun than it should be. You walk into a tavern expecting the usual boring NPC talk and instead there’s this big-titted goblin girl leaning over the counter like she’s about to fall out of her clothes on purpose. I picked the “play it cool” dialogue, and five clicks later I’m balls deep in her, she’s riding me on a dirty table, boobs bouncing everywhere, and the game throws in a titfuck scene just because it can. No fade to black, no “are you sure”, just “you touched her, now deal with it.” Some scenes are rough in that kinky way, with ropes and collars and that bastard feeling of “I probably deserve this.” One goblin dom literally drags your character around by the leash and talks shit like she’s streaming on Twitch. It’s funny and hot and a bit stupid, but in a good way. Then sometimes the pacing is weird, like you go from filthy BDSM dungeon to awkward small-talk with some random NPC with no transition, and the horny mood falls flat for a minute. Also there was one chest in a cave I clicked three times and nothing happened and now I hate that chest forever. But then you run into some new character who calls you a “useless dead meat toy” and grinds on your face and you forget you were annoyed. It’s that kinda experience. Messy, horny as fuck, not pretending to be deep, just constantly tossing you into new goblin sex trouble while Miss Fortune smirks like she planned it from the start.

Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.

You start as this Marine captain who is supposed to be big deal, “justice of the sea” and all that, and in first ten minutes you already fucked up hard. Straw Hat crew slips through your fingers, higher ups are pissed, and suddenly your glorious career turns into doing dirty side jobs in weird corners of the Grand Line. Except here “dirty” is really about tits and asses, not paperwork. The game plays like someone glued together a horny quiz night, a cheap logic puzzle app you’d open on the toilet, and a One Piece parody where every female character somehow forgot what bras are. One moment you’re juggling domino-style puzzles to complete a mission report, next moment you’re watching Tashigi pressed up against a desk, glasses crooked, moaning with that ahegao face like she just discovered what “special interrogation” really means.

It doesn’t pretend to be subtle. You get a whole sandbox vibe where you wander around port towns and bases, talk shit to the girls, tease them, fail, grind reputation, then suddenly everything pays off and you’re balls-deep in some Marine office with creampie CGs looping in nice little animations. Captain Tashigi acts strict at first, all “regulations this, regulations that”, then after a few tasks and a dumb little puzzle where you line up crates like domino pieces, she’s the one begging you to “discipline” her, sword belt half off, tits bouncing in your face. Hina shows up as this icy officer who can literally cage you, and somehow that turns into a trainer-style situation where you’re the one “training” her body in return for getting your rank back. Black Cage Hina’s scenes are fun because she acts like she’s in control while you are rearranging her holes like it’s a combat formation. Not realistic Marine procedure, but yeah.

Then you run into the Baroque Works girls. Miss Valentine and Mikita, Miss Doublefinger, Paula, all that crew, and the game just leans into the parody hard. Mikita with that lazy grin sitting on your lap, grinding that big ass against you as some stupid courier mini-task pops up on screen that you kinda ignore because her tits are right there. Miss Doublefinger’s poison spider tricks get turned into a sex thing with webs, positions, and a “you’ll die if you pull out” joke that the game absolutely takes too far. Zala shows up under one name, then the game calls her something slightly wrong later, like it forgot its own script, and somehow that made me laugh more than the actual jokes. Sadi and little Sadi from Impel Down bring the real kink: whips, teasing, anal scenes where they “punish” you for losing a turn-based fight, but the punishment looks a lot like reward. You’re supposed to care about combat stats and moves, yet half the time you’re just pressing attack, waiting to see which sex scene unlocks if you lose. Everything feels slightly messy, like a horny fan’s notebook turned into a mobile game, and that’s kind of the charm. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it falls flat on its face, but when your captain ends up with a full harem of big tits, big asses and brainless grins from too much oral and vaginal “interrogation”, you sort of forget the plot was about justice at all.

Lily’s manor feels less like a “setting” and more like some horny group chat that accidentally turned into a religion. You’re this smug futa noble with a holy title slapped on top, walking around a house full of maids who have somehow decided your cock is basically divine scripture. It starts simple. You wander the halls, poke your nose into rooms you probably shouldn’t, talk shit, choose some dialogue, watch the girls react. One maid gets flustered when you tease her about praying for your “blessing” and two scenes later she’s on her knees giving that “blessing” the slowest, sloppiest oral in front of an altar like that’s totally normal. It’s half sex game, half “what if Catholic guilt but everyone actually likes it”.

The wild thing is how casual the corruption hits. First, you think: okay, cute nun outfit on this maid, standard stuff. Then you notice how the game keeps pushing that religious angle. Confessions that turn into handjobs. A “purity test” that is literally just Lily ordering a virgin maid to strip and bend over because “we must check for temptation.” There’s a nice little management loop hiding under all the lewd too. You assign maids to duties, pick who goes to the dungeon with you, who stays home, who you “reward” after a long day. Dungeon runs are just classic turn based fights, nothing fancy, but the context makes them funny. You’re beating up monster girls, then five minutes later you’re fucking them into your harem like it’s part of their onboarding process. One slime girl scene caught me off guard: she tries to drown Lily, combat ends, then the game calmly flips straight to Lily balls deep in her while we get that internal view, little animated pulse, and you just sit there like “yeah, that escalated fast.”

I kept telling myself I would focus on one girl, stay loyal, see her whole arc. That lasted until the older maid with the big ass and fake “I’m too mature for this” attitude walked in with a tray and Lily just ordered her to suck her off under the table during a serious talk about “faith.” The game loves that mix of silly and fucked up. There’s ***-ish stuff, some straight up harassment, and then it cracks a joke about house rules in the same scene. You’ll have a futa on futa titfuck against a stained glass backdrop like some kind of cursed church poster, then next room is a shy girl masturbating with a sex toy she “borrowed from storage” and trying not to get caught. Multiple protagonists pop in too, which is weird at first. Suddenly you’re not Lily, you’re one of the maids sneaking into Lily’s room to taste the “holy seed” while she sleeps, and the game just rolls with it. Group scenes get messy fast, creampies everywhere, nuns losing their faith between Lily’s legs, monster girls joining the dogpile, some lesbian side route that pretends Lily isn’t watching from the doorway. It’s all very animated in a way that makes you feel like the manor is alive and kind of sick in the head. My only real complaint is that one door near the chapel that makes the same annoying sound effect every time you click it, but I still kept coming back to it, hoping there was a scene hidden behind it where Lily corrupts the last stubborn virgin and crowns herself “Saint of Bad Decisions” or something.