It’s weird how this game feels both filthy and kinda wholesome at the same time. Like, you’re just a farmer, right? Doing your chores, minding your crops, and suddenly there’s this pig-girl princess showing up in your barn acting like she owns the place. She’s spoiled as hell but somehow adorable, rolling her eyes while asking you to “show her how humans do it.” The writing doesn’t even pretend to be subtle - one second you’re talking about feeding pigs, next thing you’re milking something that definitely isn’t a cow. The transitions are janky in a funny way, like the devs knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t care if it made sense. Honestly, I respect that kind of chaos.

The humor hits that perfect spot between dumb and clever. There’s a scene where the royal advisor tries to lecture you about “proper conduct with livestock” while you’re literally hiding behind hay bales with the princess moaning your name. It’s stupidly hot and stupidly funny. And the futa twist? Didn’t see that coming (pun totally intended). The first time it happens, you just stare for a second like - wait, did that just grow? But it works because the tone never shifts into serious mode; it stays playful, teasing, constantly flirting with absurdity. There’s even a lactation gag that somehow turns into a group scene, and by then you’ve stopped questioning logic entirely. You just go with it.

I kinda wish the farmer had more dialogue options though; sometimes he just grunts or blushes when you want him to say something dirtier. But maybe that’s part of the charm - you project your own filth onto him. The art style’s got that soft, round look that makes everything feel warm even when it’s absolute debauchery. And yeah, I laughed out loud when the princess called herself “royal pork” mid-handjob. Who writes that? Whoever they are, they get it. It’s horny, messy, self-aware, and doesn’t apologize for any of it.

You wake up in the future, dick still attached, and somehow that already makes you rare like legendary loot in a shitty gacha. Men are gone, wiped out by some plague, and the world got tired of waiting for them to respawn, so the girls built androids to fill the… gaps. Not just for heavy lifting and fixing pipes either. Your new “life” is basically being a rented toy with a human brain: if a woman flashes her account balance and a weird request, you smile, say “yes, ma’am,” and figure out later why your knees hurt. The game treats this like a normal job, which is kind of the funniest part. One scene you’re lying on a couch while some rich office lady sits on your face like you’re just another piece of furniture, talking on her phone about work targets while using your tongue, the next scene you’re awkwardly trying to pretend you don’t see a horny student girl masturbating in the dorm shower while “testing your sensors.” The tone jumps between sweet, horny, humiliating and just stupid in the good way, like an adult comedy that forgot it was supposed to be subtle.

What I really liked is how it leans into you being property without turning you into a silent mannequin. You can tease back, flirt, or just be confused like a guy who opened the wrong tab at work. There’s a great early moment where your handler drags you to your first client, this shy-looking woman who clearly ordered you “for research.” She acts all serious and academic, then ten minutes later she’s climbing on top of you, hands shaking, asking you to “just stay still and… record the stats” while she rubs herself on you, grinding and panting, apologizing every three seconds and still not stopping. The game loves that contrast: girls acting like they’re in control, but their voice cracking the second your hand “accidentally” slides under the skirt. One milf makes you stand naked on the balcony while she lazily jerks you off from behind, talking in your ear about “exhibition testing,” and you can see other windows lit up, shadows moving. It really sells that voyeur vibe, like half the city is peeking and pretending they’re not.

I wish the notifications bubble in the corner wasn’t that ugly green, it just sits there like a WhatsApp message from someone you hate. Never gets fixed. Anyway, there’s this fun tension in a lot of routes: they talk like you’re just software, but the second you push your luck, like sliding your fingers deeper or holding their hips just a little tighter during oral, they react like you’re very real. Sometimes they punish you for it too. One dommy mechanic girl literally throws you on a workbench, sits on your face, and tells you she’s “recalibrating your tongue module” while grinding till you can barely breathe, then makes you finish her off with your hand under the oily overalls. Another scene goes the other way: a lonely office lady hires you just to cuddle, maybe a bit of groping, but you end up with her gently riding you while half-asleep, soft sleep sex, her muttering her ex’s name and you can decide if you wake her or just hold her tighter and keep going. The game calls itself funny, but it’s also weirdly romantic sometimes, like with the shy lesbian android who starts off just “studying male models” and ends up using you to figure out what she actually wants from girls. There’s groping on crowded trains, forced stripping in small apartments, you jerking off because your client “forgot to finish the test,” harassment in alleys where you’re treated like a vending machine for orgasms. It’s messy, horny, occasionally sweet, and never really lets you forget you’re both a sex worker and a glitchy relic of a dead gender, which sounds heavy but somehow just makes the teasing scenes hit harder.

Dan is that guy who thought getting into automation engineering would make life all clean and logical, then ends up resetting routers for boomers on tech support while his dick basically runs his decision making. Game starts pretty calm, him just being this slightly awkward dude at a soul killing job, and then boom, Christina walks back into his life. Old high school friend. The kind of “friend” you used to think about in the shower and then tell yourself it was just hormones. Now she’s grown into this walking temptation with huge tits, soft voice, and that mix of sweet and lowkey horny teasing that makes your brain lag like a shitty Discord call. The game really leans into that familiar energy, that weird nostalgia where you remember her as the girl eating fries in the cafeteria, but now she’s pressing those big boobs against your arm and asking if you “missed hanging out” with that innocent smile that is absolutely not innocent.

It plays like one of those slow burn visual novels where half the tension is in what you don’t say. You’re clicking through their chats, coffee meetups, small talk that clearly wants to be dirty talk, and the fun is in trying to read her mood from each CG, each little facial shift. One moment she’s joking about your boring office job, next moment she’s leaning too close, t-shirt pulling just enough to show cleavage that should be illegal, and you get that CG freeze of her looking up like “what, do my tits distract you?” And yes, they do, thanks for asking. There are scenes where she pretends to be all innocent, like “oh, I didn’t know this top was so tight,” while she very obviously knows exactly what she’s doing. That teasing is almost more intense than the actual hentai scenes. Almost. When you finally get those, they’re the kind of CGs where you stop clicking and just stare. Sweat, flushed skin, her legs spread on your couch after “just watching a movie,” and you can almost hear the cheap Netflix show still playing in the background while she rides you slowly, hair messy, cheeks red, tits bouncing while she tries to “keep it quiet.” Yeah, that whole “friends” thing does not survive very long.

What stuck with me is how the game sells that romance angle without pretending it’s some pure love story. It’s horny as hell, but it’s not just random fuck scenes thrown at you like a porn hub playlist. You get that build up: old memories, little jealous moments when she mentions other guys, the way she casually touches your shoulder then pulls back like she’s testing you. One CG where she hugs you from behind after a rough day and her boobs are basically wrapped around you like a warm anime pillow, and you can tell she knows what that does to you. They talk about stupid stuff too, like high school rumors and who dated who, and in between those lines you feel the “what if we had hooked up back then” tension. At some point she straight up asks if you ever had a crush on her, and depending on what you pick, the vibe of the next scene totally shifts. There’s this moment where she shows up in your place “just for a drink” in tight jeans and a top that can barely contain her chest, sits way too close, then starts playing with her hair, crossing and uncrossing her legs, throwing you looks like she wants you to fuck up and make the first move. When you finally push past all that and she lets you strip her, she still keeps that teasing energy, like biting her lip and pretending she’s shy while her body tells a completely different story. It’s messy, it’s horny, it feels like that dangerous zone between old friend and full-on girlfriend, where every choice might fuck things up or make her moan your name louder. And honestly, that’s exactly the fun part.

Sylvara is fucked. Not in the poetic way. In the goblins-actually-run-the-place way, with their stink everywhere and those weird pheromone clouds that make everyone way too horny to think straight. You’re not some faceless hero here, you’re stuck in the skin of these three elf girls, Lea, Valya and Anneli, trying to pretend everything is “normal” while the city slowly turns into a green-skinned playground. The game leans hard into that tension between wanting to fight and wanting to just give in and get railed by the enemy. And because it’s a visual novel style thing, the pacing is slow on purpose: you wake up, decide what to do with the day, and every little choice pushes you closer to escape or closer to goblin breeding stock territory, sometimes both at the same time, which is honestly the main kink here.

What sold me isn’t even the sex at first, it’s the way the daily routine feels like it’s constantly humming in your ears. You’ve got tasks that are boring on paper, like helping in some supply room or going to “train”, but the game sneaks filth into it. One morning I sent Lea “just to gather information” in a tavern corner, and the sound layering there is wild. In the background, you have this sticky low murmur of goblin grunts, mugs slamming, chairs scraping on stone, and under that, some faint wet noise from a side room. Nothing on screen shows it, but your brain connects it instantly. That kind of sound hint is way hotter than showing every hole filled. Then when she accidentally brushes against a goblin guard, there’s this little sucking cloth sound as his hand grabs her ass, plus her tiny breath catching in the mic, just a half gasp, not some anime squeal. It feels dirty, like you’re listening from behind a door, not sitting in front of a PC with headphones.

Sex scenes themselves get pretty brutal, in a good way for this genre. There’s one where Valya gets cornered in a storage cellar after trying to steal some key item. The wood creaks when he pins her against the crates, you can hear little glass bottles rattling each time he slams into her. Her voice goes from stubborn, almost annoyed, to this broken, fucked-out stutter when the pheromones kick in. The goblin voices aren’t generic growls either; they’re nasal and taunting, with these wet lip smacks that made me actually pull one earcup off like, “ok that’s a bit too real.” I wish the footsteps on stone had more bass, that part feels weirdly light, but everything around the penetration is heavy and sticky and loud in that porn-audio way that’s hard to pull off without sounding fake. Here they ride the edge nicely. A few moans loop a bit too obvious after a while, you’ll start hearing the same “nhh!” in your sleep, but by the time you notice you’re already clicking “continue” just to hear how far they’ll humiliate her next time. There’s one quiet moment, after a long session, where Anneli just sits there breathing, no music, just a little trembling inhale and the gross slick sound of goblin cum dripping to the floor. That’s when I realized the game understands something most devs forget: silence is also a sound, and here it’s filthy as hell.